Friends, a complicated concept.
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I'm not sure about you people, but lately I have been quite confused about this friends concept.
Some time ago I read in a magazine this article by a sociologist about different types of friends: acquaintence, platonic, close, best.
No matter what your own definitions about these different groups of friends are, have you wondered how people progress through the different stages, if at all? Or how about regressing in stages e.g. people drifting apart, former close friends becoming platonic friends instead.
I thought I was a nice enough person. But sometimes I find that when some close friends click with others more, and they become closer while I stay put. In other words, I miss out on the bonding (for want of a better word.) In the past, this might be because I have not done my part as a friend, but I really don't think this is an issue now. Physical proximity has to do with it I suppose, just like being posted to different camps in the army.
I'm not sure I'm complaining. I guess I'm just a bit disappointed that this has to happen. I can't label it as being betrayed, because is certainly is not, but when this sort of things happen, it just goes to remind myself how badly I am at assessing at how close I am to people, or that I'm expecting too much from what there never was. At its worse, it can take away the motivation to open your heart to new people.
On the other hand, I think you should only spread your trust and sincerity that thin. In other words, quality and not quantity.
Confusing. -
Pac ......
dun need to be confused. Dun expect too much is the best then you feel too disappointted when you didn't get wat you expect. Friends come and go......its just part of life, I guess......
You are a nice person........about the part of you being quiet or something......its just your character. No one has to right to change that. You are nice means you are nice. Ppl will remember you for sure.
But then, I have to agree that if you wanna keep friends, then there must be some effort loh. -
Well...
As a friend to others, I do not expect anything in return. Put yourself in a position to receive and dun get your expectations too high.
The more you expect, the harder you fall... Especially when you are expecting emotional returns. This concept applies to a lot of things too.
I believe in giving my friends sincerity and love, they don't have to return me a single thing. They might not feel the same towards me but who cares? I feel happy doing this.
Something about me is that no matter how many times I get disappointed, I feel that there is still someone out there who appreciates me and will need me as support. That's the drive that spurs me on to know new people.
I try my best to KIT, but if I can't, I will always keep my friends in that special position that whenever they need me, be it that we haven't seen/talk to each other for ages, I will try my very best to be there for them.
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Yes¿ No¿ Maybe¿ -
hey, for me, i'm a pretty shy guy, so my circle of frens is rather small. even then, i find that it is common that we can drift apart, thru busy work, studies, that causes us to lose touch. but still i noe that i'm their good fren, and that for a certain period of time, we were there for each other, creatinga special bond between us. but it doesn't end there. there must be an effort made to maintain the relationship. jioing trhe person go play pool, or even simpole things like drinking coffee, or just a simple telephone call. an email even! all i hope for is that in their eyes, i will be that person whom they know they can rely on, for help or even just someone to tok to when they are down. becos i noe that i will go all out for my frens when they are in need.
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Another in depth topic that makes me feel like posting... cos I'm feeling quite sick of something that happen recently... but since its personal, I shall not talk about it in forum...
For my character, I usually treats everyone I know as well as I can... while I dare say that I do not expect any favours in return, I do expect return in the form of an honest friendship... but sometimes bloody humans just can't seems to do that, and that makes me real sick... why don't god just end the world tomorrow and let all human beings die immediately... these ugly creatures ain't fit to live in this world....
And on a more worldly note, we all can see that its mainly humans doing damage to the planet, so why in the first place do we exist? To do damage? I'm sick and confuse...
I'm not angry, really.... just getting sick of living with humans.... u guys not included... kekeke.... well... there are still some pretty good humans around huh... :p
btw, I'm not a christian... using god up there cos christianity seems to be the only one talking about THE END.....
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Whens the end coming? Like asif I care..... -
Well Bo chup......
me getting tired too over the complicated friendship stuff. Thats why I am maintaining a low profile at least for the time-being. Moreover, I am busy with all the band rehersals and special term schoolwork. Not much time for socialization anyway..... Its a good time for me to isolate myself and do my own things quietly. Who knows, its havoc time again soon? :p
Well.....just treasure watever we have now lah. No one can tell us who are the good and the bad ones. Just go by experience loh. If ppl proves to be good friends, treasure them and 'give' them more than they have given you. On the contrary, those bad ones hor.....depends on the seriousness of the 'event'. If the degree is not extremely jalat, just keep distance is good enough. I dunno....this is how I handle friendship.....for now....