Virtual Reality
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Do u know when to draw the line?
When it is real n when it is virtual only?
Will u bring the virtual world into your real life?
Can u safely say tat u can differentiate the difference?
How rational r u?
*ponders*
I think i can...how about u?
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When I first saw you, I saw love. And the first time you touched me, I felt love. And after all this time, you're still the one I love. -
Hmm...actually I have been thinking about this too...might as well share some thoughts about it since this thread has surfaced...
I guess it happens to all surfers, you get connected to the net; you make virtual friends throught the various chat and messeging programs; you start to talk to them on a regular basis and get to know them better; you start to treat them as your real friends, or in certain cases, something more.
I have been on the net for quite some time. Probably not as long as some of you out there, but long enough to know not to read too deeply in between the lines of such conversations; not to lead someone on and not to take what they say too seriously. That's because if you do, part of the virtual world becomes part of YOUR real world, not THE real world.
I'll admit that I am quite close to some virtual friends, closer than I would have expected or wanted. It happens I guess, and one effect of it is the amount of time I am wasting in the virtual world at the expense of my real world. Thankfully I'm still untouched mentally and emotionally (I think...hope).
In dealing with virtual friends I always made it a point to remember behind every Nick is a human; a human of flesh and blood, susceptible to the same range of emotions that we ourselves possess, but I have to fall short of treating them as real friends due to the nature of the medium in which we communicate. I guess that's the best approach...for me at least.
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"Life is like a box of Chocolates...you have to eat it before it melts..." -- El Joraen -
Hm...
By hearing so many good and bad examples on this... you can be rational to a certain extent.
By drawing the line, you are doing good as a form of self protection.
Most people cannot draw a line between a lot of things, not necessary between virtual and real life, as they are bound by the emotions that they possess.
Treating friends with sincerity is a must but how many people can you trust?
There are people getting cheated/betrayed even in real life, what's to it with the virtual one?
To me, staying virtual or real does not affect you greatly unless you want it to.
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Yes¿ No¿ Maybe¿
[This message has been edited by lexelle (edited 26 April 2000).] -
Harlow Scarlett and allzzzz....
hmm.....this is a long discussed topic for me and my friends. Anyway, I agree with Tet. In fact, I usually react the same way as her.
Whether its virtual or reality, I don't think I can draw a precise line betw them. When you meet ppl you got to know online, its oredi bringing virtual into reality. We have to make allowances to accomodate all sorts of ppl in our lives. Dun take things too hard is an impt principle. I will usually put my trust in most of the ppl I know and it will depend on whoever these ppl are to appreciate my trust. If they choose to let me down, then bo bian loh. At least I gave them a chance to be trusted.
1) Be alert
2) Be observant
3) Shut up when needed
4) Be understanding of ppl's faults coz all ppl are not perfect.
5) Be more impartial
6) Dun get too emotionally involved.
Well well.....these 6 points are a few points to remember. They apply in real life too. To me, though virtual life is riskier, it is more or less the same as real life. Still some black sheeps around. Plus all the white ones.
Maybe I will end up with many good friends but no best friends. But its better than getting hit badly when ppl whom you consider as best friends hurt you.
Last thing...... give ppl chances. Till they are hopeless, don't give up. Ppl make mistakes (some big, some small)!!!!
And for those ppl who commit mistakes....... dun let ppl condemn you for life. Dun just run away! Dun try to be defensive but instead, try to compensate and improve yourself. Move on after that. Bo bian if you lose some friends along the way. Can't blame them coz they may not be as patient as others. Theres a price to pay for making mistakes, I guess....
Hugzzzz......
[This message has been edited by TinDonGal (edited 28 April 2000).]
[This message has been edited by TinDonGal (edited 28 April 2000).] -
Xu1 Gou4 Shi4 Jie4 Zhi3 shi4 Huan4 Ying3 De4 Fu2 Xian4
Zhi3 Yao4 Chong1 Po4 Na4 Yi4 Dao4 Hang2 Xian4
Yi3 Zhi4 Hui4 Kan4 Qing1 Yi4 Qie4
Jiu4 Neng2 Hui2 Dao4 Ni3 Yuan2 Beng3 De4 Kong1 Jian1. -
Like so many other people I have also wondered why its so easy to run into so much trouble with things like IRC/ ICQ ( I assume that you are talking about those.)
In the virtual world, I think you take away a lot of the signs and indications that you would be able to judge a person or situation, that exists in real life, and evaluating people and events in real life is hard enough.
Obviously everyone has different abilities to separate an online existence from a real life one. Some do it better than others. But I think its increasingly difficult to do so, because this sort of communication is becoming part and parcel of life.
On the other hand, no matter how you choose to treat the people you meet online, they will be different as well. Some will be really nice people whom you can trust, others are hypocrites that don't deserve your friendship. That is why I think all those advice given are good.
Which brings me to my next point. Its fine to say that you have to be careful and not say too much and all that. But sometimes, you might be the one who is doing the things that you are trying to avoid e.g. betraying someone's friendship or leading someone on. A lot of the principles,ideals and rules that you adopt will be different from other people's. What you think is innocent will be spiteful or suggestive to the other party.
So what the heck am I saying? I guess I'm trying to say that other than watching other people, you must watch yourself. Don't be part of the problem. The anonymity of an online existence makes it very easy not to be responsible. The fact that you are just connected virtually makes it easy to dismiss your own mistake and not be accountable.
Please don't succumb to that.
Other than that, enjoy the convenience and fun that these communication tools bring. I know I have. -
Hrmmmm.... interesting question after a short hiatus from the forums... kekeke
Actually, this has been an issue that has been bothering me since the day i started making friends online(ard 4 yrs ago)
Of course most of my early friendships had been with girls(tsk tsk tsk), partially due to the fact that:
1. Guys have absolutely no interest in making online frens with other guys &
2. Fate has a hand in letting me get to know this wonderful people(u know who u are!)
I had constantly, buried and redug this issue out so many times that i am getting tired of it.
For me, this cyber existence always starts to hurt when i inexplicably find out that they draw a line between me and their real friends.
It hurts me bad to know that I dun figure much in their lives.
Anyway.... on a positive note, cyber reality is a place i know i can fall back on for a good laugh and most importantly, companionship and that insane madness that rules in the chatroom
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Doh! God Dammit! -
Ok posted this on the 5th of April....I did not bother to edit anything and pasted as it is, but I thought it would contribute a thought to this thread.
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I recently received a email from a friend, it is not the usual letter asking how you are and what you are doing now. It is more of a realisation letter and expression of thoughts.
In his letter he spoke about the insecurities and values of cyber friendships and the impact it has on his life. I would not show his letter here, for I find that it would be too personal. But I would quote interesting point of view or thoughts that he has.These are the people i have never seen nor met before, but yet could spend hrs of a day talking to relating to while neglecting other important people in my life. These are the people who would be likely to treat u as a fren of a "lesser" level then their real frens. I know for sure that I can never be that important.
When I was reading this I was thinking how true this to be. Sometimes we are neglecting people who are just next to us while on the contrary we pay so much attention to those who are virtual, being the aunt agony and Uncle misery to them. But how many of our advises really meant anything? How much do they really care? Most of all, in what position did you understand his/her problems at all. I have always treated my online friends just like my real life friends for I believe that there is warmth and soul behind this flickering screen, I am typing into, but there will be times that people do not treat you the same. But who am I to complaint anyway? For it is my choice to treat them with equality, telling them what I will tell my "real" friends and treating them with equal respect. I sure hope to get the same in return. Although I know that it would not always be so. But one thing it did, is to make me appreciate my friends around me more, much more than before.I have felt at times that i am just a tool to fill in the empty voids in their lives while they are
Am I just another piece that fits in the jigsaw puzzle in your lonely life? Maybe, or maybe you are treating me for real. But there are times when I felt as if I am an entertainer. You are friendly for a moment and sometimes you just leave without a word and never come back. I realised that my real friends would most probably not do that, and that is where my attachments lie. You can quit on me online, and I can do nothing about it, but in real life, my friends could never find the quit buttons to fall back on even if they find me too much to bear. I pity them sometimes, but this is what glorifies them.
online and alone. Would they even care if I am dead one day? Well one thing is for sure, that is they will never know whether i am or not.
I too might be one of those who you think to be taking you as a entertainer, how ironic though it seems for the author of this post, but it happens, for I am too human. Am I not too looking for companionship in this cybervoid? I admit to this weakness, and too hope that it would never become an addiction if it has not already become one. I will not detach myself from this cyberspace though, for I have found true friends here, and I will not forfeit the virtual world of it's credit. But nonetheless, I look at it like a double edge sword, and pray that I will not cut myself with it someday, if I do not already have.
I am not writing this piece because I am feeling down or depress, though I might sound so, and I thank those who are concern for it. These are just my thoughts and feelings when I read this inspirational mail from my good friend. And just like he has dedicated it to me, I am too dedicating it too all my virtual friends, who treated me with equal frankness and attention as my real friends would. Thank you, you have made a difference to a person in this part of the world.
Another great hug to the friend, who wrote the letter to me, I will not regret having you as my friend. -
Ok posted this on the 5th of April....I did not bother to edit anything and pasted as it is, but I thought it would contribute a thought to this thread.
------------------------------------
I recently received a email from a friend, it is not the usual letter asking how you are and what you are doing now. It is more of a realisation letter and expression of thoughts.
In his letter he spoke about the insecurities and values of cyber friendships and the impact it has on his life. I would not show his letter here, for I find that it would be too personal. But I would quote interesting point of view or thoughts that he has.These are the people i have never seen nor met before, but yet could spend hrs of a day talking to relating to while neglecting other important people in my life. These are the people who would be likely to treat u as a fren of a "lesser" level then their real frens. I know for sure that I can never be that important.
When I was reading this I was thinking how true this to be. Sometimes we are neglecting people who are just next to us while on the contrary we pay so much attention to those who are virtual, being the aunt agony and Uncle misery to them. But how many of our advises really meant anything? How much do they really care? Most of all, in what position did you understand his/her problems at all. I have always treated my online friends just like my real life friends for I believe that there is warmth and soul behind this flickering screen, I am typing into, but there will be times that people do not treat you the same. But who am I to complaint anyway? For it is my choice to treat them with equality, telling them what I will tell my "real" friends and treating them with equal respect. I sure hope to get the same in return. Although I know that it would not always be so. But one thing it did, is to make me appreciate my friends around me more, much more than before.I have felt at times that i am just a tool to fill in the empty voids in their lives while they are
Am I just another piece that fits in the jigsaw puzzle in your lonely life? Maybe, or maybe you are treating me for real. But there are times when I felt as if I am an entertainer. You are friendly for a moment and sometimes you just leave without a word and never come back. I realised that my real friends would most probably not do that, and that is where my attachments lie. You can quit on me online, and I can do nothing about it, but in real life, my friends could never find the quit buttons to fall back on even if they find me too much to bear. I pity them sometimes, but this is what glorifies them.
online and alone. Would they even care if I am dead one day? Well one thing is for sure, that is they will never know whether i am or not.
I too might be one of those who you think to be taking you as a entertainer, how ironic though it seems for the author of this post, but it happens, for I am too human. Am I not too looking for companionship in this cybervoid? I admit to this weakness, and too hope that it would never become an addiction if it has not already become one. I will not detach myself from this cyberspace though, for I have found true friends here, and I will not forfeit the virtual world of it's credit. But nonetheless, I look at it like a double edge sword, and pray that I will not cut myself with it someday, if I do not already have.
I am not writing this piece because I am feeling down or depress, though I might sound so, and I thank those who are concern for it. These are just my thoughts and feelings when I read this inspirational mail from my good friend. And just like he has dedicated it to me, I am too dedicating it too all my virtual friends, who treated me with equal frankness and attention as my real friends would. Thank you, you have made a difference to a person in this part of the world.
Another great hug to the friend, who wrote the letter to me, I will not regret having you as my friend.