You Might Be From City Harvest Church (CHC) If... :)

• JT1983

  27 May 13, 11:54

  YOU MIGHT BE A CITY HARVEST CHURCH MEMBER IF…

  Who are these City Harvest Church members, and how to recognize them?
  Do they recognize themselves?

   

  I welcome anybody to contribute but keep it light and funny –
  To say it with Sun Ho China Wine lyrics:

  LET ME SEE SOME BULLET, BULLET, BULLET….

   

  I will kick it off:

  YOU MIGHT BE FROM CHC IF: …

   

  1. If you think the death of your parents was God’s blessing because they left you a fat inheritance…You might be from CHC
  
  

  2. If you offer to pray for a friend rather than actually help him…You might be from CHC
  
  

  3. If you “SIT AT THE SIDE OF THE BED CONTEMPLATING SENDING YOUR HUBBY TO THE CEMETERY ROCK (China Wine Lyrics)…You might be from CHC
  
  

  4. If missing your tithe contribution disturbs you more than children dying of starvation…You might be from CHC

  5. If you vigorously deny the Chinese gods but feel outraged when someone denies Jesus…You might be from CHC
  
  

  6. If you hold your poo til Sunday because the church has stylo mylo toilets…You might be from CHC
  
  

  7. If you violently oppose to evolution instead claim we are created from dirt…You might be from CHC
  
  

  8. If you laugh with Zeus sleeping with an earthly woman but you have no problem believing a Holy Spirit impregnated Mary...You might be from CHC

  9. You are red hot angry about the atrocities committed by Muslims yet you worship a God who slaughtered babies (Exodus) and eliminated entire ethnic groups including women, children and trees (except the virgins – they could be kept alive)…You might be from CHC

  10. If science, history, geology, paleontology, biology, physics, medicine,… all have failed to convince you otherwise, yet a mega-rich pastor speaking in tongues is all you need as evidence…You might be from CHC

  
  11. If you know less about the bible, church history and Christianity than the average atheists, despite “school of theology”…You might be from CHC

  
  12. If you consider 0.0001% of answered seed prayers a “high success rate”, and the remaining 99.9999% failure was just “Gods will”…You might be from CHC

  13. If you believe pastor Kong’s “speaking engagements” paid for his multi-million dollar home and lavish celebrity lifestyle … you might be from CHC
  
  

  14. If you believe that there is a God, who speaks to pastor Kong directly…You might be from CHC
  
  

  15. If you believe: the higher the tithe – the higher the faith…You might be from CHC
  
  

  16. If you believe that Pastor Kong is always right, and Joseph Prince gets it wrong occasionally…You might be from CHC
  
  

  17. If you believe you can speak 3 languages: English – Mandarin and… Tongues…You might be from CHC
  
  

  18. If you are an ugly male virgin between 15 and 22, and go to Suntec City every weekend…You might be from CHC
  
  

  19. If you are an ugly male uncle over 40 with a (no longer) virgin female girlfriend between 15 and 22, and you go to Suntec City every weekend…You might be from CHC

  20. If your name is Jack Neo…You might be from CHC
  
  

   

  I look forward to your contributions…

   

• Tcmc

  27 May 13, 12:54

  Actually muslims, hindus, sikhs, christians, etc all believe in Gods for the same reasons. The reasons are :

   

  1. Religious scriptures – All of them cite their respective religious scriptures for their faith.

   

  2. Prayers answered – All of them also told me of prayers answered miraculously.

   

  3. Life-changing testimonies – All of them shared about how their religions have changed their lives, for the better.

   

  4. Miracles – All of them told me of events that happen which cannot be explained by the rational mind.

   

   

  All religions claim their Gods are true using the same reasons above.

  http://iamhumanist.wordpress.com/2013/05/23/why-do-the-religious-believe-in-gods/