Must Read: Infatuation or True Love?
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I got this e-mail from one of my friends. Really meaningful and I hope I can share this with you all.
By Avalon De Witt
Ahhh... love! It's what we all seek. Even those who already have it are
continually seeking ways to keep it. But what is love, really? How can we
know that what we're feeling is not infatuation? What's the difference?
If you are currently in a relationship or if you hope to be in one, this is
a very important question. Distinguishing this difference can be very
challenging since we can't see love, we can't weigh or measure it to see
how
great or small it is. And if you are highly psychic, making the distinction
can be even more challenging because you may naturally feel as though you
"know" the person. But if we want to have happy, healthy relationships, we
need to identify our feelings accurately.
Infatuation is like a drug, or a form of madness. You are taken over by a
whirlwind, you are consumed by thoughts of the other person and nothing
else
matters. Your life suddenly revolves around this person and you want to
spend every waking moment with him or her. You are in a dream, dizzy with
bliss. True love, on the other hand, is more a sense of friendship and
respect.
The surest way to distinguish love from infatuation is to give your
relationship the test of time. But while you are waiting for time to tell,
there are things you can watch for. Here are 10 questions that can help you
evaluate your feelings: -
1. Can you be open and honest with your partner without fear of rejection?
Are you able to be yourself? Or do you hide your weaknesses and try only to
show your strengths? When you truly love another, you don't concern
yourself
with impressing your beloved. Rather, you are more interested in serving
your lover and you know that is easier to do when you are honest.
2. Can you accept the ways in which your partner is different from you?
Infatuation is self-centered, thinking primarily of how the other person
makes you feel. With infatuation, you see the other person through
"rose-colored glasses." But real love is rooted in reality and acknowledges
the imperfections of another without judgment. It has a deep respect for
the
other's individuality. When you truly love another, you want to know what
makes that person tick, why they do what they do, why they think what they
think. With love, faults and weaknesses of the other person are recognized
and accepted.
3. Are you able and willing to discuss your differences with your partner?
If you are your own person with your own thoughts, you will experience
differences. Can you communicate about your disagreements lovingly? Can you
"fight fair?" Love can step out of its comfort zone in order to address the
differences in a relationship without harming it. Some of us have been
taught that if you love someone you'll never disagree, never be angry or
argue. Real love encompasses all the emotions. The opposite of love is not
hate. It is indifference. And it's possible to be angry with, and even hate
someone that you love. A healthy love relationship will allow you to
express
anger.
4. Do you care about the other person's, dreams goals and plans? Do you
desire his or her success? To love is to be actively involved with a
person's spiritual purpose. It is the choice to give support, nurturing and
encouragement to your beloved's spiritual growth and attainment. Real love
seeks what is best for others and makes us want to encourage them to grow.
It considers the other person's happiness and well-being. With true love,
your partner's well-being is just as important to you as your own and you
take actions to nurture that sense of well-being.
5. Can you see yourself going through the mundane motions of life and
growing old with your partner? Infatuation is attraction, admiration,
adoration... and is mainly based on physical, or chemical connection, while
real love is based on spiritual connection - a common spiritual
understanding and shared purpose. It wouldn't matter if your lover lost a
leg, gained 300 lbs. or got burned in a fire. With true love, you are
attracted to much more than just the physical. You are attracted to the
soul
of the person. You want to see into your beloved's heart as much as you
want
to touch him or her physically. -
6. Do you feel good about yourself without your partner's validation?
Infatuation depends on others for validation. When you truly love someone,
you have a genuine sense of security, confidence, self-reliance and
self-respect. Life is complete with or without your beloved. You're aware
that you and your partner have different gifts. You approve of yourself
just
as much as you approve of your partner. You take responsibility for your
own
life and you allow your partner to take responsibility for his or her own
life. You can feel complete without your partner.
7. Are you able to give as well as receive? True love makes giving of
yourself to the other person as easy and as fulfilling as getting something
back. The relationship is much more than what you are getting out of it.
The
give and take are shared. Infatuation is want, need, but real love is
abundant and fulfilling. When we are fulfilled, we find it easy to give. We
can give even as we are receiving, by utilizing what the other has to offer
for our own spiritual growth. This is a most powerful form of giving for it
gives meaning to the other person's gifts.
8. Do you have a life of your own? With real love, you don't live for the
other person completely. You still have your own direction in life. You're
not afraid to "take your space" or to give some to your partner. You allow
enough space to let the winds of heaven dance between you. Other
relationships, activities and interests continue to be important to you.
You
see the goodness in all people, not just your partner. Time and space can't
separate you. It's impossible to feel unfulfilled when you are truly in
love
because you can always feel your beloved's presence, therein lies the
fulfillment.
9. How would you feel if your love was unrequited? Could you love the other
person enough to respect his or her choices, even if those choices exclude
you? Real love needs nothing in order to live. It is not dependent on being
loved in return. With true love, you are more focused on the "now moments"
of the relationship than on the future or outcome of it. Whether or not
your
love is returned is of no consequence when you truly love another. You may
feel sad if your beloved doesn't love you back, but it won't stop you from
loving.
10. Does your love endure? If love is true, the relationship will remain
strong under the strains of life. The relationship is more than just joy
and
happiness. You can cry together, suffer together and even be angry
together.
But whatever your experience, the love will always remain. It is eternal.
Infatuation will either develop into true love or it will die.
If after reading this you've discovered that you are infatuated and not
really in love, take heart! Real love doesn't try to force a relationship
to
grow. It respects its natural pace. But you can greatly increase your
relationship's chances of moving to the next level by learning what people
in true love do and following that example. -
Infatuation can develop into love..
Infatuation = lust? no..
So is respecting and admiring one's beauty infatuation? -
Just one warped question.
How would you explain if there is this guy who had two relationships. One was Infatuation and one was True Love and all Ten questions were done and passed.
If he'll to tell you that his experience a relationship based on Infatuation is so much more meaning than the on the one based on True Love?
I apologise if i seem to gatecrash your thread and attempt to debunk that email message man. But frankly, it is flawed trying to use those ten qns to depict 'True LOVE'.
Hmm....i think i'm messing things up!
M© siamz. -
WIth the human mind.. there is no true definition of love.. there isnt..
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Precisely.Originally posted by Pitot:WIth the human mind.. there is no true definition of love.. there isnt.. If True Love could be found in just Ten Questions.
Then i think mankind would either have a hard time or good time being in relationships.
Cheers. -
i guess u failed to read the first post which actually mentioned that these are the 10 questions that helps to evaulate those feelings.Originally posted by M©+square:Just one warped question. How would you explain if there is this guy who had two relationships. One was Infatuation and one was True Love and all Ten questions were done and passed.
If he'll to tell you that his experience a relationship based on Infatuation is so much more meaning than the on the one based on True Love?
I apologise if i seem to gatecrash your thread and attempt to debunk that email message man. But frankly, it is flawed trying to use those ten qns to depict 'True LOVE'. Hmm....i think i'm messing things up!
M© siamz.
their purpose is to evaluate ur feelings towards another person whether u r truly in love or just an infatuation.
those questions do not define true love or infatuation. of course, different people see things differently. however, i agree with what they say that infatuation is self-centred. if others have different perception about this. i guess it's time to turn to the dictionary.
if, even the dictionary, some of u might say is a definition of man, then, sadly, i can say is that, go your own way and hurt urself hurt. that's the best way to learn.
because not many people learn things the gentle way.
so in conclusion, for stubborn people, i guess it's better for them to get hurt than to not love at all. -
Originally posted by The Emperor:
I guess you're unable to answer my question then.
i guess u failed to read the first post which actually mentioned that these are the 10 questions that helps to evaulate those feelings.
their purpose is to [b]evaluate ur feelings towards another person whether u r truly in love or just an infatuation.
those questions do not define true love or infatuation. of course, different people see things differently. however, i agree with what they say that infatuation is self-centred. if others have different perception about this. i guess it's time to turn to the dictionary.
if, even the dictionary, some of u might say is a definition of man, then, sadly, i can say is that, go your own way and hurt urself hurt. that's the best way to learn.
because not many people learn things the gentle way.
so in conclusion, for stubborn people, i guess it's better for them to get hurt than to not love at all.[/b]
I understand that does the elvalutation.
The best way to learn is not through dictionary. This, i don't think you'll disagree with me.
Through Gentle way, one may not even see and know where he's at in life.
Say a wise fish in a Pond were to tell you about the great ocean.
But fishy himself can tell it, but never know the ocean.
apologies if my post is offensive because i sense that you're offended. My intention was not a personal attack.
Guess i'll put a stop to this.
Cheers~ -
Haiyo..tis mc.. not enough to eat one..
*hands angpow*
go take ur gf for nice dinner la