Redundant Jokes
-
TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS : Maria!
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
FRANK : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables!
_________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
GL ENN : Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD : H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
DONALD : Yesterday you said it's H to O!
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't
have ten years ago.
WINNIE : Me!
__________________________________________________________
TEACHER: Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE : I is...
TEACHER : No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree,
but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't
punish him?"
LOUIS : Because George still had the ax in his hand.
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
__________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your
brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, teacher, it's the same dog!
_________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?
HAROLD : A teacher. -
-
mayb i can add 1 in.... :
This very incident happened inside a train. There is a cabin with,
1. An American
2. An India Businessman
3. A Singaporean
4. A Blangadesh
they were havin a nice chat when suddenly, the american took out a ciggie n lighted it with a few american notes.
seeing tt, the businessman asked: y did u light e ciggie with ur notes?
american replied: well, america has nth but too much money.
acknowledging tt....they resumed with their chat...n after awhile, the businessman took out a whole suitcase of cigars. He took out 1, lighted it n throw it out of e window after e 1st puff.
The s'porean saw it n asked: y did u throw tt away? dun u think its a waste?
businessman replied: well...india has nth...but too much cigars...
astonished by this reply...n nt wanting to lose....the s'porean grabbed the blangadesh n throw it outta e window.
stunned by this move, both e american n businessman asked: y did u throw him out of e window????
n the s'porean replied proudly: tts bcos s'pore has nth...but too much blangadesh!!
read it from sum where de...dun sae i racist...
-
-
Whaaaa...u racist man!!Originally posted by zrahf:mayb i can add 1 in.... :
This very incident happened inside a train. There is a cabin with,
1. An American
2. An India Businessman
3. A Singaporean
4. A Blangadesh
they were havin a nice chat when suddenly, the american took out a ciggie n lighted it with a few american notes.
seeing tt, the businessman asked: y did u light e ciggie with ur notes?
american replied: well, america has nth but too much money.
acknowledging tt....they resumed with their chat...n after awhile, the businessman took out a whole suitcase of cigars. He took out 1, lighted it n throw it out of e window after e 1st puff.
The s'porean saw it n asked: y did u throw tt away? dun u think its a waste?
businessman replied: well...india has nth...but too much cigars...
astonished by this reply...n nt wanting to lose....the s'porean grabbed the blangadesh n throw it outta e window.
stunned by this move, both e american n businessman asked: y did u throw him out of e window????
n the s'porean replied proudly: tts bcos s'pore has nth...but too much blangadesh!!
read it from sum where de...dun sae i racist... 
But I like!
-
okay...taken fm my email.....to share ......
>>~~~~ Where there is love there is life. - Mahatma Gandhi ~~~~
>>
>>
>> > It was the stir of the town when an 80-year-old man married a
>> > 20-year-old girl. After a year of marriage she went into the hospital
>>to
>> > give birth. The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow saying, "This
>> > is amazing. How do you do it at your age?" He answered, " You've got to
>> > keep that old motor running".
>> >
>> > The following year the young bride gave birth again.
>> > The same nurse said you really are amazing.
>> > How do you do it?" He again said "You've got to keep the old motor
>> > running".
>> >
>> >
>> > The same thing happened the next year.
>> > The nurse said, "Well, well, well! You certainly are quite a man!" He
>> > responded "You've got to keep that old motor running". The nurse then
>> > said, "Well, you better change the oil. This one's black!" -
-
-
A jobless man applied for the position of 'office boy' at Microsoft.
The HR manager interviewed him, then gave him a test, which was to clean
the floor. After that the HR manager said "You are engaged, give me your
e-mail address, and I'll send you the application to fill, as well as when
you will start."
The man replied, " I don't have a computer, neither an email"
"I'm sorry", said the HR manager, "if you don't have an email, that means
you do not exist. And whose who do not exist, cannot have the job."
The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only
10US$ in his pocket. The man then decided to go to the supermarket and buy
a 10 Kg tomato crate. He sold the tomatoes in a door-to-door round.
In less than two hours, He succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the
operation three times, and returned home with 60 US$. The man realized that
could survive this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return
late. Thus, his money doubled and tripled day by day.
Shortly later, he bought a car, then a truck, then he had his own fleet of
delivery vehicles. Years later,the man became one of the biggest food
retailers in the US. He started to plan his family's future, and decided to
get life insurance. He called an insurance broker, and choose a protection
plan. When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him for his
email.
The man replied: "I don't have an email".
The broker replied curiously," you don't have an email, and yet have
succeeded to build an empire. Do you imagine what you could have been if
you had an email?"
The man thought for a while, and replied: "An office boy at Microsoft!"
The moral of this story:
1- Internet is not the solution to your life
2- if you don't have Internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.
3- if you received this message by email, you are closer to being an office boy than a millionaire.
Until you make peace with who you are, you'll never be content with what
you have. quoted by Sam Morgan -
upzzzzzzzzz
-
Ah Cind...thank you
-
hmm....thank you for wat.......Originally posted by bratpig:Ah Cind...thank you
for watever reason or wat la....
just a thank you is not enough de.... 
-
Upz!
-
Heard this b4 l....but still worth a luff....so post for all bah!!
After 20 Years
>
> There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time
> they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights.
> Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she
> would break him of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in
> the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the
> lights. She looked down ... and saw her husband was holding a battery
> operated pleasure device... a vibrator... soft, wonderful and larger
> than a real one.
She goes completely ballistic. " You impotent bastard,
> " she screamed at him, " how could you be lying to me all of these
> years? You better explain yourself!
The husband looks her straight in
> the eyes and says calmly: " I can explain the toy ... if you may explain the
> kids. " -
-
Management....
A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be in Information Technology," said the balloonist.
"I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is, technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip."
The woman below responded, "You must be in Management."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault.