help pls
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basically we had a first serious talk in years, abt my future path. for some reason we started talking abt where i wanna go in life and what i wanna do.
he started off by rambling abt if i wanna drive ferraris, lamborghinis...porsches...i must go marketing. if i am happy with taking bus everyday and squeezing with others in the bus, go ahead with my own choice.
he says marketing can make lots of money. reminds me of waht he said abt biotech and shares. he was 'spot on'. then i replied with my choice and why i didnt wanna do those choices he made etc. and it hit some raw nerves. both of us/
i mean, measure everything by money ? i rather die.
my dad has this uncanny ability to make sure i lose confidence in my decisions, no matter how well thought out it is. nothing unusual, throughout my life, i've nvr been given decision making. all ruthlessly stifled. the choice to place biotech at poly was his, not mine and now he makes it look as if he's the victim
he always tells me he's ahead of me in life. true. but he always say if i dont follow his decisions, i will regret it. and he always chooses the ugly side of the choices i made and the beautiful side of his choices.
from aeronautical engineering to chemistry at poly lvl to psychology at degree lvl. all knocked out by his so called ' suggestions". i too, arrived at the same conclusion for some choices, albeit with different reasons.
i wont list the reasons out here because i am afraid it will hurt some of the forumites here who are taking or is working in relevant fields.
he concluded with the statement that he said it once and will not be saying it again. up to me to choose.
technically this is throwing the ball into my court or throwing me the hot potato and walking away. but truely, this is the case in life.
i am not say, confused over whether shld i go forensics which is my strong choice or take his suggested path, rather it's waht he said.
ppl tell me, hang on to yr choices and dont give a sh|t abt others' suggestions. -
Dear Ah Bis,
After reading ur post, initial i tot u r toking abt bf or gf thingy than i came to know tat u toking about a discussion with ur Dad on future path.
Well....if i may ask, how old are you? thinking of uni so i guess about 21/22 after NS???
Personally, i feel that parents do plan and make arrangements for children coz (u have to admit) they went thru more life ups & dws in the society and they eat salt more than u eat rice.
I would have let my Dad choose my path for me....but....from ur post....it seems that u dun agree with him.
Advise are to be taken for considerations but de final decision is still you...
Think wat u wan, wat is ur interest, wat is ur best strengths and not cos Dad said so, Dad thinks so, Dad Plan so.....
Its not ur Dad going to study for you or going thru the study period...it's YOU.
Hope i have been of help.
Yours sincerely,
Ah Cind
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Dear Ah bis,
After reading your post, I seem to be able to draw some parallels with you, yet not totally the same.
Our parents may already have certain mis-conceptions, or otherwise known as mindset, of certain degrees and vocations, may it be due to personal experiences, or from talk with friends and relatives. It sure is good to listen to what he has to offer, but in the end, the work/field you are going into should rightfully be your own choice.
Talk is cheap, actions speak louder than words.
What do I mean by that? Do communicate with your parents (I suppose you do, otherwise you won't post that entry) more and listen to what they feel/think about certain degrees/courses/fields which you are interested in. If they have negative views, learn more about the fields you are interested in, and sell the good points to them.
In the end, the choice should be up to you to make, as, the future is yours to decide.
Regards,
Ah Death
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death = cindtan ?
" dear ah bis.."
i abit no patience to read it, sorry ah,tonight abit agitated.later i reply -
err..ok..standard prob of ppl my age is r/s
age..under 19.5 years exact
well cind, thanks, u've basically reaffirmed my choice.
i dont think like him in jobs and i avoid some jobs because there is an inherent fear in me due to his own failures. to put it simply, i dont want to walk a similar path as he did and also i most likely will not get the financial, mental and family support he enjoyed at our expense for the last say 7 years. and also its because of the my introvert nature which explains why i dun like to do sales.
i do admit he has seen far more things in life that i've could possibly have imagined and his advices are to be taken seriously not just with a pinch of salt.
Yours sincerely,
ah bis
now..to death..i mean deathscyteuotoreytorwotywotywyt99
the misconceptions, IMHO, works both ways. just as he sees my future job as.....i too, see his current job as absolute crap.
actually i seldom have a serious talk to my parents. the only time i did was before i applied but didnt get into ntu for psycho course.
the other major talks i had were the poly entry and some serious discipline probs i had when i was young, which i learnt the lessons well.
serious talks with my dad ? that 1 was first in many years.
Regards,
Ah Bis