Dear Nelstar,
You can always take drugs like Slim 10 for your weight problems. However, do take note of the possible side effects associated with those weight loss drugs. They may harm your kidney, liver, heart, brain, etc. You will then need to go for operation to save your life. However, the good news is that people tends to lose weight after such near-death experiences. Either way, you will also lose some weight.
As for your financial problems, I seriously doubt the professionalism of your financial adviser. Do come and look for me as I'll be starting work soon with a reputable company, whose name I can't say now, as we have not finalise the finer details in my employment contract.
Last but not least, you really do not need to give a damn to those pesky policemen. What do they know? Anyway, Changi Prison do not have the means to keep a 300kg prisoner, as this was not factored into during the design phase. However, Uncle Agony is not encouraging you to break any law. Uncle me has a minor in Clinical Psychology. Please feel free to consult me.
P.s. Uncle Brat can charge you 1/2 price if you were to employ my services in both financial planning and psychiatric treatment