Bad experience

• guilty

  12 Sep 10, 16:36

   

• An Eternal Now

  12 Sep 10, 17:20

  Hi guilty,

  You should treat this as part of the learning process of life that we (or most, or many) all have to go through. There is no need to live in guilt but learn from these experiences so that we will not make the same mistakes in the future. I and friends also had bad experiences with alcohol. These kind of things actually quite common... there is no need to dwell on it, but most importantly both parties must learn the lesson (e.g. the girl should learn to avoid binge drinking, and the other parties should learn not to offer people alcoholic drinks. especially as Buddhists we should avoid alcohol) Anyway, ladies generally have less alcohol tolerance (due to body weight etc) than male.

  Learn to live in the Present... the amazing thing we call Life. In fact we already always are living in the present, just that we keep dwelling on our thoughts and memories and miss the aliveness of this moment, which is blissful.

  The thing is already over, don't make things worse by imagining and dwelling in illusions.

• parn

  12 Sep 10, 18:58

  Originally posted by guilty:

  Hi all,

  I have made another mistake which i would like to share / or maybe get some opinions on how to salvate the situation,

  
  I am a buddhist but i went to those sleezy KTV louges with those freelance gals who sit with you for tips, one gals seat beside me and because we ordered beer, i ask her to drink, she pick up a empty cup and had 2 glasses with my friends, after that she went off to other rooms, when she came back, she was very drunk and wanted to drink somemore, i told her to drink water but she refused and wanted some more beer, we gave her a bit, after which she wanted to vomit and i escorted her to the toilet, after coming back, ahe wanted to go other room to collect $, afterwhich we left the place.

  During the trip back, i started feeling guilty for asking her to drink which could have made her drunk, i call her and she say she is alright, but i still feel not good as i start imagine what could happen to her when we left like could she have been raped or get hiv, could i be indirect involed.

  Eversince, this has badly affected my life living in guilt and fear of bad karma, and feel i am responsible if anything happen. I called her many times to ask her how she is,

  Now i understand the importance of the 5 precept, and why we should not drink at all, it will make a people say some things without careful consideration and regret terribly later

  Before i went there i thought drinking is okay if you know your limit and can control your action, now then i know when you drink, you could unknowingly ask someone to drink with you

  This is the lesson i learnt, now i have to leave in guilt

  
  Don't need to feel guilty, these girls were meant to be raped.

  If not, why do they take up such jobs, knowingly placing themselves at risks of being raped?

  Isn't this what all your cocks buddies would've told you?

   

  Why worry? At the most, either your daughters will be raped repeatedly or you will become a girl in your next life and be raped repeatedly too.

• geis

  12 Sep 10, 19:17

  Originally posted by parn:

  
  Don't need to feel guilty, these girls were meant to be raped.

  If not, why do they take up such jobs, knowingly placing themselves at risks of being raped?

  Isn't this what all your cocks buddies would've told you?

   

  Why worry? At the most, either your daughters will be raped repeatedly or you will become a girl in your next life and be raped repeatedly too.

  Kindly reflect on this attitude. 

  to TS, its good that you regret these actions . yes many times we get carried away by our indulgences, and its never too late to realize our folly. 

  just promise yourself to avoid nightspots if possible :)

• sinweiy

  12 Sep 10, 21:05

  Originally posted by guilty:

  Hi all,

  I have made another mistake which i would like to share / or maybe get some opinions on how to salvate the situation,

  
  I am a buddhist ...

  Amituofo,

  i was wondering how u recieved the precepts. to wat i know, as a layperson, u can select those precepts that u can abide accordingly to your career. if ur career need u to go out with client and need to drink, u can first opt out the drinking precept for the time being. one can just abide one of the precept and it's already very powerful. gradually then overcome.

  /\

• An Eternal Now

  12 Sep 10, 21:37

  Hi guilty,

  Being too guilty is also not good. From your past posts I can see that you are dwelling too much on the past and causing unnecessary stress for yourself which can lead to depression.

  Go easy on yourself and try to focus on some of the positive things about yourself... you certainly have changed a lot from these incidents for the better. You are now able to understand the importance of precepts, etc. In fact... I still have a lot to learn from you.

  Don't always go into the past... Whenever you have spare time (and even in the midst of busy-ness), learn to be present, submerge yourself (let go of yourself) into the everyday mundane and ordinary experience of seeing, hearing, smelling, and you'll realize how wonderful and blissful and extraordinary that ordinary aliveness is. If you are able to realize and experience pure consciousness, you'll be freed from identification with a mental story, you will be willing to drop all that 'me-stories' and live in Actuality which is absent of a separate self.

  I can say I am not a perfect person, but I choose never to live in attachments and guilt, but in Actuality. I do not identify myself as my past or future or notion of present, but as Pure Presence/Consciousness, which is all there is - even a memory of past or projection of future are mere thoughts arising in and as Presence/Consciousness.

  I highly recommend the book (not just to you but everyone, it is a spiritual classic and NY times bestseller): "The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment" by Eckhart Tolle, available in almost all bookstores. It is a life changing book.

• parn

  12 Sep 10, 21:52

  Originally posted by geis:

  Kindly reflect on this attitude. 

  to TS, its good that you regret these actions . yes many times we get carried away by our indulgences, and its never too late to realize our folly. 

  just promise yourself to avoid nightspots if possible :)

  
  Who are you?

  You may save them by ferrying them to and fro from work, with hope that the will pay you with sexual means.

  OR

  You may educate them so that they will be smart enough to say "�女��艺��身".

  Either way, getting raped is one of their occupational risks,

   

  I think guys like you should reflect on your own kind. If all of you were morally educated, then no girls would be exposed to such occupational risks.

  Likewise, they are here ONLY to provide entertainment for GUYS. If guys were morally educated NOT to patronise such entertainment, GIRLS will not be forced to place themselves in a situation where they might be raped and felt that they deserves it.

   

  Go and educate yourself and your buddies first before you come here and act high and noble.

• sinweiy

  12 Sep 10, 22:05

  Letting go.

  My favourite story about learning to let go.
  Hope it will help you.
  
  

  Once upon a time, there were two monks who went on a pilgrimage across the country together. One day, they came to a river bank and saw a beautiful girl who was unable to cross the river.
  
  Seeing her difficulty, the elder monk volunteered to carry her across the river on his back while the younger one looked on in consternation.
  
  When the sun went down, the monks came upon a dilapidated shack and decided to stay there for the night. The elder monk quickly fell asleep while the younger one twisted around, unable to calm his mind. Finally, he woke up the elder monk and reprimanded him for what happened during the day, "As monks, we are supposed to keep away from women. I am really ashamed and troubled by what you did today!"
  
  The elder monk looked at his friend and a smile broke up on his face, "Oh, so that has been bothering you! Brother, I have left the girl behind by the river bank, why are you still carrying her around?"

  /\
• Weychin

  12 Sep 10, 22:22

  Originally posted by parn:

  
  Who are you?

  You may save them by ferrying them to and fro from work, with hope that the will pay you with sexual means.

  OR

  You may educate them so that they will be smart enough to say "�女��艺��身".

  Either way, getting raped is one of their occupational risks,

   

  I think guys like you should reflect on your own kind. If all of you were morally educated, then no girls would be exposed to such occupational risks.

  Likewise, they are here ONLY to provide entertainment for GUYS. If guys were morally educated NOT to patronise such entertainment, GIRLS will not be forced to place themselves in a situation where they might be raped and felt that they deserves it.

   

  Go and educate yourself and your buddies first before you come here and act high and noble.

  Please distinguish between consensual sex and rape. 

  You do not force sex to one who is unwilling by the justification of them putting themselves into the situation. There are bouncers to remind you of that !  

  Just like dressing sexily may provoke sexual attention, it does not warrant the violence of rape. You may want to label them as immoral, but please do not infer that it is alright to do them violence. This is the excuse that many self righteous, including the holier than thou impose on others !

  Don't ever justify rape ! And please respect a woman as a person, right to her own life, it is not for you to judge and impose,not in Singapore anyway.

• Weychin

  12 Sep 10, 22:42

  Originally posted by guilty:

  Hi all,

  I have made another mistake which i would like to share / or maybe get some opinions on how to salvate the situation,

  
  I am a buddhist but i went to those sleezy KTV louges with those freelance gals who sit with you for tips, one gals seat beside me and because we ordered beer, i ask her to drink, she pick up a empty cup and had 2 glasses with my friends, after that she went off to other rooms, when she came back, she was very drunk and wanted to drink somemore, i told her to drink water but she refused and wanted some more beer, we gave her a bit, after which she wanted to vomit and i escorted her to the toilet, after coming back, ahe wanted to go other room to collect $, afterwhich we left the place.

  During the trip back, i started feeling guilty for asking her to drink which could have made her drunk, i call her and she say she is alright, but i still feel not good as i start imagine what could happen to her when we left like could she have been raped or get hiv, could i be indirect involed.

  Eversince, this has badly affected my life living in guilt and fear of bad karma, and feel i am responsible if anything happen. I called her many times to ask her how she is,

  Now i understand the importance of the 5 precept, and why we should not drink at all, it will make a people say some things without careful consideration and regret terribly later

  Before i went there i thought drinking is okay if you know your limit and can control your action, now then i know when you drink, you could unknowingly ask someone to drink with you

  This is the lesson i learnt, now i have to leave in guilt

  Glad you've learnt your lesson, just avoid the same mistake or allow yourself to put in such a situation. Hopefully, you will never get yourself or others  get drunk to the point where hard liquor taste like water!

• parn

  12 Sep 10, 23:08

  Originally posted by Weychin:

  Please distinguish between consensual sex and rape. 

  You do not force sex to one who is unwilling by the justification of them putting themselves into the situation. There are bouncers to remind you of that !  

  Just like dressing sexily may provoke sexual attention, it does not warrant the violence of rape. You may want to label them as immoral, but please do not infer that it is alright to do them violence. This is the excuse that many self righteous, including the holier than thou impose on others !

  Don't ever justify rape ! And please respect a woman as a person, right to her own life, it is not for you to judge and impose,not in Singapore anyway.

  
  I do not know which posts you are replying to. Do you?

  But you can always re-read what I have wrote before you come barking up the wrong tree.

• parn

  12 Sep 10, 23:17

  Originally posted by Weychin:

  Glad you've learnt your lesson, just avoid the same mistake or allow yourself to put in such a situation. Hopefully, you will never get yourself or others  get drunk to the point where hard liquor taste like water!

  
  Wait...Are you one of those common Singaporeans who come up to forums like this to console yourself that you are noble and righteous?

   

  Why bother doing it? It's not like TS needed your approval in any ways. Sounds to me like you need TS's story so that you can levitate yourself to false holiness and nobility.

• Weychin

  12 Sep 10, 23:18

  Originally posted by parn:

  
  I do not know which posts you are replying to. Do you?

  But you can always re-read what I have wrote before you come barking up the wrong tree.

  Don't need to feel guilty, these girls were meant to be raped.If not, why do they take up such jobs, knowingly placing themselves at risks of being raped?

  Either way, getting raped is one of their occupational risks,

   GIRLS will not be forced to place themselves in a situation where they might be raped and felt that they deserves it.

   

• TTFU

  12 Sep 10, 23:21

  I suggest dont feed the trolls

• parn

  12 Sep 10, 23:22

  Originally posted by Weychin:

  Don't need to feel guilty, these girls were meant to be raped.If not, why do they take up such jobs, knowingly placing themselves at risks of being raped?

  Either way, getting raped is one of their occupational risks,

   GIRLS will not be forced to place themselves in a situation where they might be raped and felt that they deserves it.

   

  
  I see, ok make sure you quote the correct post in your replies.

   

  And don't reply posts that aren't meant for you, because I know what I'm doing and you don't know what I'm doing.

• Weychin

  12 Sep 10, 23:30

  Originally posted by parn:

  
  I see, ok make sure you quote the correct post in your replies.

   

  And don't reply posts that aren't meant for you, because I know what I'm doing and you don't know what I'm doing.

  I am alerting readers to someone who justify the violence of rape; mainly you.

  Let me remind you that rape is a very serious offense in Singapore, that you may be inciting others to commit rape.  

• parn

  12 Sep 10, 23:45

  Originally posted by Weychin:

  I am alerting readers to someone who justify the violence of rape; mainly you.

  Let me remind you that rape is a very serious offense in Singapore, that you may be inciting others to commit rape.  

  
  Okok, you're so naggy.

  Do you realised that the post wasn't meant for you?

   

  What prompted you to be so uptight over it? Are you a forum police? (If there's even such term)

  Or

  Are you just here to post to feel noble and righteous about yourself?

   

  Either way, you don't have to be so nagging about it.

• Terminator Hitman

  13 Sep 10, 04:28

  ya shoulda stayed at home and played at PS2 or 3 game.or go call chicken at KFC....be sure to order cripsy and original.

• burndog85

  13 Sep 10, 05:25

  Don't have to feel too guilty about it. Seems normal to me, afterall you were having fun. I am buddhist as well, just let it off as a one thing that happened in your life. Who knows you might want to do it again later in the future. It's not like you took her home and did a hanky panky show.

• Terminator Hitman

  13 Sep 10, 05:30

  im not a buddhist,muslim or christian yet i dun go to places as such.
• Terminator Hitman

  13 Sep 10, 05:31

  why?fun?why why why?
• Weychin

  13 Sep 10, 12:37

  Originally posted by parn:

  
  Okok, you're so naggy.

  Do you realised that the post wasn't meant for you?

   

  What prompted you to be so uptight over it? Are you a forum police? (If there's even such term)

  Or

  Are you just here to post to feel noble and righteous about yourself?

   

  Either way, you don't have to be so nagging about it.

  I do not need consensus to find you posting here offensive, as this is a open forum.

  I find your words objectionable and I shall say so, for, if you have posted as PM or in other forums, I shall be no wiser.  I also find you uncouth, using vulgar sentences to bully people with kind intentions into silence. 

  If you find the forum posters here high and mighty, I suggest you make your presence scarce and post your brand of foul mouth language where is more acceptable and maybe even welcomed.

   You should be most welcome when you be able to contribute constructively  or use dignified language..In the meantime, crawl back to the hole where you came from.

• guilty

  13 Sep 10, 21:41

  Hi terminator,

  It  is not so good in my opinon to go to such places, it better to get into a proper relationship out of love and respect, as the above post say if there is no such preverted man like us, maybe they will be no demand to do this job.

  I guess girls do these job as they find it good and "easy" money

• Fcukpap

  13 Sep 10, 22:40

  its a good question to hit at many parts of the system...

  if such profession affects the morals of the society....dun we think it is for the system to stop it than for us to mumble abt it? .... why it has not done so? for fear of increase in rape? 

  such that if smoking is so bad...the system find all despicable means to make things difficult for smokers....such a smart system should already devise ways to make it difficult for such profession to exist...why has it not done so? 

  the system can enforce everyone to do so many tings against their wish...what is prostitutes to them? what is stopping them to enforce on them like how they make things difficult for smokers or men? 

   

• Dawnfirstlight

  14 Sep 10, 06:57

  Originally posted by Fcukpap:

  its a good question to hit at many parts of the system...

  if such profession affects the morals of the society....dun we think it is for the system to stop it than for us to mumble abt it? .... why it has not done so? for fear of increase in rape? 

  such that if smoking is so bad...the system find all despicable means to make things difficult for smokers....such a smart system should already devise ways to make it difficult for such profession to exist...why has it not done so? 

  the system can enforce everyone to do so many tings against their wish...what is prostitutes to them? what is stopping them to enforce on them like how they make things difficult for smokers or men? 

   

  I did ask this question before. The answer I got was they are afraid  there will be more rape cases if prostitution is being stopped.