I'm just wondering how do you deal with pride?
Originally posted by Isis:I'm just wondering how do you deal with pride?
Heck care your pride. xD
To admit wrong when a mistake is made
Let go of the thought of a "self" and see others as Bodhisattvas.
Keep precepts.
Bow to the Buddhas.
Be mindful of the triple gems at all times.
most difficult to do...beware u may just fail if u dont really know how to do it cos in the end its just going to be the 'self' not getting what it wants. just the self game and trick and trap so have to recognise it and get out of that first. just my 2 rupees.
tell urself u are nothing... they are right u are wrong... so just listen dun talk...
"Better than" :
When first trying to discover pride, one looks at thoughts, speech and action. In one's action or rather, reaction, is one better than other. Pride manifest itself as comparatively better, or innately superior to others. One way of seeing this the pride of the devas, being in a position of comfort, ability and privilege, one acts, speaks and thinks as an elite, often with a look down view.
However, the same group of reactions may also be that of inferiority complex,stemming from sense of inadequacy. Causing one to act in a high handed manner, examples like talking down, snobbish behavior, the difference is the absence of sense of well being.
So to discover and deal with pride is the awareness of sense and complacency of being "better than". Often, irritation and impatience are useful as signs when interacting with others. Hold judgement and preconception and listen to others without reservation, in other words, shut up your thoughts and be fully aware.
Humility is is sometimes as simple as receiving without preconceptions, which is in turn not as simple as it seems, as often more than not, we are required to be quick on the feet to assess the situation.
Dear All,
Thanks for the sharing..
I’m just curious about being prideful
It is not good to be prideful?
Personally, i think it is nice to feel happy that one accomplish something but not necessarily one has to be proud of their achievement.
A few disadvantages.
- Excessive pride leads to arrogance.
- The Arrogance/show-off can damage relationships with people.
- The excessive importance of oneself.
- Not willing to compromise on the matter
- Does too much pride leads to a hollow and lonely emptiness among people?
- Do pride leads to suffering eventually?
Originally posted by Isis:
Dear All,
Thanks for the sharing..
I’m just curious about being prideful
It is not good to be prideful?
Personally, i think it is nice to feel happy that one accomplish something but not necessarily one has to be proud of their achievement.
A few disadvantages.
- Excessive pride leads to arrogance.
- The Arrogance/show-off can damage relationships with people.
- The excessive importance of oneself.
- Not willing to compromise on the matter
- Does too much pride leads to a hollow and lonely emptiness among people?
- Do pride leads to suffering eventually?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pride
I think wiki has a good explanation. In my view moderation is the key. If too much pride exist then its harmful in a sense. Pride is also the most dangerous sin among the 7 sins.
Originally posted by Isis:
Dear All,
Thanks for the sharing..
I’m just curious about being prideful
It is not good to be prideful?
Personally, i think it is nice to feel happy that one accomplish something but not necessarily one has to be proud of their achievement.
A few disadvantages.
- Excessive pride leads to arrogance.
- The Arrogance/show-off can damage relationships with people.
- The excessive importance of oneself.
- Not willing to compromise on the matter
- Does too much pride leads to a hollow and lonely emptiness among people?
- Do pride leads to suffering eventually?
Dear Isis,
This is an impt question. I think many people underestimate the defects of pride. It is one of the most potent pitfalls on the path. The problem with pride is that it is hard to detect. Compared to pride, jealousy, anger, desire are easier to see. One has to have alot of self-awareness to detect it. Shining the light inwards instead of outwards. It creeps into many situations and pride/arrogance flashes on and off, instead of being a really continuous thing.
In Tibetan sayings, it is said that the water of good qualities cannot stay on the ball of pride, it will always flow off it. No matter how hard one is practising, pride offsets alot of it and is a huge obstacle. If one is cultivating merit, the attitude of pride undermines greatly the merit one creates. If one is learning from a teacher, pride is a great barrier to absorbing the teachings thoroughly.
Pride is a function of ego and because of it, it is a direct obstacle to realising egolessness. On the path, it is also frequently a reason for people to stop learning, stop striving to improve and develop further. It is also difficult for people to take well-meant criticisms because of pride.
Pride is a huge demon or mara. It is something we have to keep looking out for in ourselves. I know of a great master who would scold anyone who praises him, because it is a possibility of encouraging his pride to arise. Many practitioners along the path who may have made some headway are destroyed by pride. In history, this is commonplace.
Pride blocks compassion from arising. It blocks wisdom from arising. It is the cause of the breaking of morality or discipline. It can cause you to disregard the subtle workings of cause-and-effect. One becomes reckless.
The sense of 'accomplishment' that u spoke of can become either confidence or pride. It depends on how one treats it. If one continuously dwells on it and uses it as a credential (even mentally), if one's progress on the path then halts or slows down, then it is definitely mutating into pride.
Just a sense of self-confidence is ok and helpful. But not pride. One shd try to be mindful.
Hope my opinion helps.
Eat humble pie lah........
Just imagine, if becos of your pride, you refuse to admit a mistake, and when all is being spelled right out in your face, your pride will be trampled on badly.
That's how I always try to clam my egoistic side =(
If thoughts of pride arise....
Expose the illusion that pride refers to.
Pride always refer to an imaginary self entity, a 'me' who has a sense of achievement, etc.
Expose that 'me' to be the bogeyman/santa claus it is - utterly non existent, an illusion!
Then you can smile at your thoughts rather than taking it seriously (in a rather humorous way, laughing at your thoughts spinning fictitious dramas... 'hey, you're at it again!'), understanding that it is a complete fabrication and illusion of the mind... that exists in thought only... just a dream figure. No matter how you try to locate it, you can't... it is only a story you made up, it isn't real. Seeing this, there is no need to deal with pride anymore! You don't have to deal with an illusory problem... You just expose the illusion as an illusion.
Trace all thoughts of 'I' to its Source... cognizing emptiness. This solves all problems and sufferings we have.... by removing the root cause of separation and suffering.
yesterday i was reading a book, surprisingly it was talking partly about pride.
the author says that one of the best antidotes to pride is appreciation.
Appreciate that everything you have, everything you achieved etc, is not possible without the input of others and how everything is inter-related. If one contemplates on this clearly, a feeling of appreciation and humility automatically arises.
My summary may not be very satisfying...
You can read more, this book is "Light Comes Through" Dzigar Kongtrul. By far, one of the most experiential, contemporary and relevant books i have come across in a long while. It is suitable for practitioners of all levels.