....cont'd
We don't tell our kids "jack" about sex. Dad's don't talk to their sons. Mom's don't talk to their daughters. And you can be pretty sure, if we can't talk to our sons as men, we certainly are not going to talk to our daughters, and are moms going to talk to their sons? It is not happening. And because we won't talk, open lines of communication, about this most critical area, our children are going to satisfy their curiosity from other sources.
Some say "the Church" should do this job. With all due respect, it is my belief the church has done and is doing its job. I don't believe there is a absence of a clear message. I think there is an absence of implementation.
What does the Church teach?
1. In Catholic teaching, the family is a domestic church and parents are the first teachers of their children.
2. Parents, in addition to this role as the primary teachers, are the primary protectors of their children, both at home, and at school.
3 The Church does assist, but we do not abdicate our unique and irreplaceable role as parents to the Church, or to the public school system, or to some other institution. "If its to be, its up to me".
When you said "I do", and then said "I will" to having sexual relations with your spouse, and having a child, you also said "I am" the provider of "Banks" in this child.s life. You want a swamp? Ignore the necessity of "The Banks".
Why don't we talk about sex with our kids?
You would not believe the number of e-mails we have received from people as a result of the Babies Count On Me Campaign that tell us no one talked to them as children about sex, how babies are created, what is responsible behavior, God's view on sexual _expression, nothing. "NO BANKS"
So think about it. If we, who have Catholic faith cannot, or will not discuss this vital, critical, important area with our children, why are we the slightest bit surprised that our neighbors, who live their lives sometimes without the benefit of the moral compass provided by the teachings of the Church, either teach nothing, or in the alternative, teach that caution should accompany sexual _expression and leave it at that?
We don't talk about sex with our kids for three reasons, among others:
1. We often do what was done with us. If our parents were lacking in this regard, we repeat the same action. We hope our kids turn out fine. Ostrich!
2. We have not spent the time building talking relationships with our children so that when it comes time to explore these issues, the history of feeling "safe" to discuss their questions and natural curiosities does not exist. Many pre-teens do not even believe their parents have sex, or that when their parents were young they ever had sexual desire, or wanted to look at naked pictures, or talked about sex with their friends. "Not their parents. Gross! No way!"
3 We have not equipped ourselves to have the conversation. We have not invested the time, ahead of the fact, to prepare ourselves to deliver moral, spiritual and practical information and guidance. Do we ourselves know what the Church teaches in this vital area? Do we believe it is true? Can we answer our own children's questions? Think about it. You can be pretty sure that any child is eventually going to have questions in their mind about sex. Are you ready when the time comes? Or do you freak out thinking about having to answer these questions. "Good question. Ask your mom." Or "let's talk later".
It is time to re-create some the "BANKS" in the lives of our young people. We will not get a different result by doing the same things over and over again that have not or will not work. Trying harder at approaches that have not worked is lunacy.
We propose that there are three critically important necessities to change the result of this swamp we have, to a river we desire:
1. Tools in the hands of Parents: We must put tools in the hands of parents that equip the parents to build a dialogue with their children about human sexuality that has as it foundation the truths taught by the Catholic Church about the plan of God in creating us as sexual beings. Contrary to what some may think, the Catholic Church is not "against" sex. Quite to the contrary, the Church calls men and women to experience the true dignity and beauty of their identity as sexual beings within the vocation to true love, including conjugal love and sexuality, within marriage. Do we teach this? What we teach our children must be technically and medically correct, but it must proceed from a much deeper place. We must impart to them the deeper meaning of sexual activity and help place within them a moral compass. It is much easier to prevent erosion than rebuild banks after a swamp is created.
2. Our ideology must be represented in the Public and Private Education Venue. We must promote the creation and utilization of a truly good SEX ED curriculum for application within the Public and Private School system that provides technically accurate information that is delivered within the framework of a moral foundation and responsible living. Our critics are right. We complain about their approach, but we have been absent from the marketplace. It is possible to prepare a sex education curriculum that properly involves parents, communicates moral and medical information that is accurate - and does not violate the so called "separation of Church and State." Moral values serve the common good. It can be done. It must be done. It is time to go to Public School Board Meetings with Petitions and Tools.
3. Young Adults Everywhere Must Hear From Us. We must be proactive in our communities delivering this same message to young adults that have grown up without the benefit of a parent's counsel or a proper morally grounded sex education program because we didn't deliver the goods in the past. There are hundreds of college and university settings as well as non-institutional settings that could be, and must be outlets for a curriculum that provides a values foundation as well as technically correct information. To be absent from this marketplace assures more of the same current social results. In a word, a swamp.
While it is true that you cannot turn a stagnant swamp back into a river overnight, it is also true that you start by restoring "The Banks". We hope you will be inspired to stand with Your Catholic Voice Foundation as we attempt to deal with Abortion and its' many contributory causes.