....I have constantly felt the hand of God guiding me, throwing me into deep waters and reaching out to save me....
Deacon Jivan Daniel,ofm
When it comes to birthdays, we all get to have a wish and we normally wish for something good. It is the same with our life journey, when someone asks us to describe how we wish our journey ahead to be like, all of us dream of blessings and successes, peace and joy and “touch wood” nothing bad may happen to us. This is our preferred journey, the journey all of us would like to experience.
In my third year of formation with the friars, someone forwarded me a prayer that was witty. I cannot remember the exact words of that prayer, but it went something like this: “Disturb me, Lord, when I am comfortable with life. Disturb me, when I choose to stand at the shore of the sea, so that I may choose to be thrown into the deep.” Trying to be brave, I told myself that I will recite it. However, after reciting it, I became frightened. What if this prayer is answered, if God really chose to disturb me and if he throws me into the deep waters? What happens, if I am unable to swim? So, I decided never to recite that prayer again.
But I realized later, no matter whether I recite that prayer or not there will be moments when I will be thrown into deep waters. This has happened to me quite a number of times in my last 7 years of formation with the Franciscan friars. Yet, when I look back at all that I have gone through over this 7 years, the oneÂ’s that I am truly grateful to God for are the moments when I was thrown into deep waters. Facing these moments with hope and trust in God has allowed me to emerge a better person.
I am grateful today for our Franciscan spirituality, the fraternal life, and our way of living the Gospel values to which I have been called. It is within the community that I have constantly felt the hand of God guiding me, throwing me into deep waters and reaching out to save me. It is my involvement with the brothers in my community that has enabled me to allow myself to be thrown into the water, knowing that I have the support of my brothers and believing that they are there to help me become the person God wants me to be.
I am grateful for Francis who by his own example invited the brothers to be always open to the workings of GodÂ’s spirit in the life of individual brothers and the community as a whole. It is this spirit of openness that has enabled me to face those moments when I was thrown into deep waters with confidence and courage knowing that the brothers are helping me face those moments.
3 weeks ago, I attended my personal retreat in preparation for my diaconate ordination and the one sentence that I kept reminding myself was to “Remember how good God has been to me.” Truly, God has been good to me, because the moments he has thrown me into deep waters, he has reached out and pulled me out. Certainly, not in ways I wanted Him to or according to my time, but He has never failed to pull me out.
At the end of that retreat, the retreat master prayed that I may encounter many more deep waters in my journey in life. I accepted his wishes for me in faith, hoping and praying that they will continue to help me become the person God wants me to be.
For now, this has been my preferred journey: A journey which will involve moments when I am thrown into deep waters.
Deacon Jivan Daniel,ofm
Bulletin of 20th/21st August 2005
Friar Jivan who was ordained a deacon in our parish last week, is now serving his diaconate ministry at the Church of Our Lady of Lourdes. His interest is in working among the poor and the migrants at the parish. We wish him a fruitful ministry!