Just go ahead and cry
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Nobody likes to be a cry baby, but shedding a few tears is good for you.
People cry happy tears at weddings and sad ones at funerals. Some of us sob when we're angry, frightened, frustrated or hurt.
It's a form of stress relief, or what Dr. Lucille Peszat calls "a chemical wash," refering to the combination of water, salt, protein, lipids (fats) and sugar which make up our tears.
Crying is one of the ways the body tells us it's feeling stressed out. "Our bodies will produce signals indicating stress until we deal with the underlying reason," says Peszat, executive director of the Canadian Centre for Stress and Well-Being.
People tolerate low-intensity frustration constantly but when "the intensity of emotion crosses the barrier, we cry," says William Frey II, PhD, a St. Paul, Minn.-based biochemist and tear expert.
Frey reports that on average, women cry 5.3 times a month, while men cry 1.4 times. And 85% of women and 73% of men say they feel better after the flood is over.
Women cry more than men because of the way hormones (prolactin in women and testosterone in men) affect the development of tear glands and tear production.
While boys and girls under the age of 12 cry the same amount, changes occur in our teens, so by the age of 18, women cry 60% more than men do.
While it's deemed acceptable to have a good cry in private, public bawling is still discouraged in the workplace.
"That's a mistake," says Frey. "It's okay to yell and be angry, but it's not okay to show sadness."
While an employee who cries all the time and is disruptive to colleagues isn't a good thing, Frey suggests that an episode of crying is a good indication to a supervisor that something at the office is wrong. "Tears are an important form of communication when words don't work," he says.
When an employee cries out of frustration at some aspect of his or her work, it's a sign the employee cares about the work -- and that's the kind of employee you want, he says.
Then there are all those men who are taught as children that big boys don't cry. While it remains a pervasive stereotype in North America, among European men, particularly Italians, crying is manly, says Peszat.
"Crying is not a weakness or a bad thing," she says.
What isn't good for you is holding in your emotions. "Stress can kill you," says Frey. Studies have shown that people are 14 times more at risk of heart attack within the first 24 hours of hearing terrible news (such as the death of a loved one). In a heart where there is already narrowing of the arteries, additional stress can close them up to 30% more.
Adding to this sob story is that not all tears are created equal. Tears shed in response to emotional upset have a higher protein content than tears shed when an eye is irritated. There are also varying levels of hormones in tears that are related to stress.
"It shows all tears aren't the same, but it doesn't show why they're different," says Frey.
He suggests that maybe tears are a way the body rids itself of a waste product that increases during times of stress. "When the body gets rid of it, we feel better," he says.
But excessive or chronic weeping can be a signal of clinical depression, says Peszat.
If you're crying repeatedly for more than two to six weeks, it's more than the simple blues and you should seek help.
Studies show that most people cry between 7 and 10 p.m. That's when we spend the most time with our significant others (a potential for arguments). We're also more tired in the evening; television and movies can stimulate crying; and we also have the privacy to indulge in a weepy moment.
Yet, there are also times when we just don't want to cry. At these moments, try these bawl-busting techniques -- the idea is to redirect the body's commands away from crying. Clench your fists. Scrunch your toes. Bite your tongue gently. Or lightly press or pinch the bridge of your nose.
Another is to concentrate on your breathing. "Breathe in a relaxed way," says Eli Bay of the Relaxation Response Institute. "Breathe fully and deeply into the abdomen from the bottom up. It helps shift anger and frustration." -
Tears really can make you feel better!
At a community hospital in Chicago suburb, an eight-year-old girl asks, "May I cry or should I be brave?" ItÂ’s a question she poses moments before being taken to surgery for a leg amputation.
We share conflicting feelings about crying. On the one hand, shedding tears can show deep concern. On the other hand, might not tears convey a lack of courage?
At one time or another, everybody cries. The Old Testament tells us that King David wept on several occasions. And the New Testament reports that Jesus cried when He learned his good friend Lazarus had died. With great compassion, Christ also wept over the city of Jerusalem and its many inhabitants.
And recent statistics show that weÂ’re a lot like Jesus in this respect: a majority of both me n and women say they cry. Yet there is, perhaps, no other element of living that carries so much confusion with it as the human tear.
Poets and novelists for years have known intuitively that crying is somehow good for us. William Shakespeare, for example, wrote, "To weep is to make less the dept of grief."
And poet Alfred Lord Tennyson once wrote about a woman who learned her husband had been killed. "She must weep," the writer said, "or she will die."
Scientists are beginning to confirm the accuracy of such statements. Why is crying good for us? Tears, it seems, reduce tensions, remove toxins, and increase the bodyÂ’s ability to heal itself. In short, scientists are concluding that people who cry enjoy better health.
Here are a few more things scientists are discovering about people, tears, and the benefits of crying.
Why do people often feel better after crying?
Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D., a professor at the University of Colorado Medical School, works primarily with people who are mourning loved ones. "In my experience," he says, "I have observed changes in the physical expressions following the expression of tears. Not only do people feel better after crying, they also look better."
And according to Dr. William Frey, a biochemist and director of the Dry Eye and Tear Research Center in Minneapolis, Minn., one reason people might feel better after crying could be because they are "removing, in their tears, chemicals that build up during emotional stress." FreyÂ’s research indicates that tears, along with other bodily secretions like perspiration, rid the body of various toxins and wastes.
As far back as 1957, it was known that emotional tears are chemically different from tears that result from eye irritation. Emotional tears contain more beta-endorphins, some of our bodiesÂ’ natural pain relievers, and protein.
In addition, researchers also are discovering that people who cry frequently enjoy better health overall. Margaret Crepeau, Ph.D., professor of nursing at Marquette University, believes healthy people view tears positively, while people plagued with various illnesses see them as unnecessary, even humiliating.
"I find," Crepeau says, "that well men and women cry more tears more often than and women with ulcers or colitis."
Consequently, at MarquetteÂ’s School of Nursing, students and professionals are urged not to automatically provide tranquilizers to weeping patients, but to let the tears do their own therapeutic work. "Laughter and tears," Crepeau says, "are two inherently natural medicines. We can reduce duress, let out negative feelings, and recharge. They truly are the bodyÂ’s own best resources."
How often and why do people cry?
Most people shed tears more often than we would think. Thanks to William Frey, who had subjects keep "tear diaries" during a study conducted at the Dry Eye and Tear Research Center, a pattern emerges:
Sadness accounts for 49% of tears;
Happiness, 21%;
Anger, 10%
Sympathy, 7%
Anxiety 5%
Fear 4%
But even these statistics do not tell the whole story. Tears, it seems, reflect our very humanity. One man, a driven and successful executive, finds that he breaks into tears on the subway while reading about the debilitating poverty of a homeless woman with four children. One woman, a high-powered attorney in Chicago, weeps whenever she hears a Mozart concerto.
What if you canÂ’t cry?
Since more and more research is giving credibility to the idea that good health is strongly connected to the shedding of tears, those who are unable to cry should try to get in touch with their deepest emotions.
For some this may mean therapy. One woman, normally a noncrier who grew up in a family where keeping a stiff upper lip was the rule, found herself crying deeply almost every time she met with her therapist. "There had been latent feelings bottled inside me for years," she says. "After every teary session I felt better."
Most people, however, find the tears flowing when they read a touching story or have thoughts of past sadness.
Should tears be controlled?
The simple answer is no. Very few people cry for the wrong reasons. Consider the man who rushed his daughter to a local hospital after she experienced a severe fall. Because tears were pouring down his cheeks, the emergency room doctor ordered the young father to stop crying.
Clearly, the doctor was wrong. Most people would do well to cry more often, and scientists as well as therapists and doctors are beginning to concur.
Can we cry too often?
There is, in fact, only one word of caution about crying. Says one psychotherapist, "People who cry easily should feel glad theyÂ’re in touch with their feelings. But if theyÂ’re crying a lot in response to criticism, they should try to get some counseling. This kind of crying is an alarm bell of a far deeper hurt; it could signify a loss of self-esteem that is triggered whenever anyone says anything negative."
Perhaps the best advice of all regarding tears comes from Charles Dickens. In Oliver Twist, Mr. Bumble, the parish beadle, is a less than sympathetic character. But heÂ’s got the right idea when he declares that crying "opens the lungs, washes the countenance, exercises the eyes, and softens the temper.
"So cry away" -
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check in..........i am a cry baby......
happy...i cry
sad...i cry
angry....i cry
mad....i cry
cry is the greatest stress relief or emotion that can relax and calm and sooth to my nerves......true....and thru my experiences...it certainly helps....
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lol.....Originally posted by BabyLover:
anything cuter than that????!!! -
the crying choir -
crying time leh... u still laff until so happieOriginally posted by cindtan29:lol.....
anything cuter than that????!!! -
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cry baby....
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bbl...de above okie...sad sad...cry cryOriginally posted by BabyLover:crying time leh... u still laff until so happie -
okie tats better.. lets cry~Originally posted by cindtan29:bbl...de above okie...sad sad...cry cry -
eh...ah cind...why u cry?Originally posted by cindtan29:bbl...de above okie...sad sad...cry cry 
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y u bother...u also bo chap me....Originally posted by bratpig:eh...ah cind...why u cry? -
Originally posted by cindtan29:y u bother...u also bo chap me....
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see la...1 hour liao and he also nvr bother to check this thread since he asked me a question....Originally posted by InnoHippo:
bo chap but still ask.........hor hippo.....he bo liang xin..... -
Originally posted by cindtan29:y u bother...u also bo chap me....
where got bo chap u? nah...
*ah brat passes ah cind tissues and his shoulder* -
nan ren bu huai nu ren bu aiOriginally posted by cindtan29:see la...1 hour liao and he also nvr bother to check this thread since he asked me a question....
bo chap but still ask.........hor hippo.....he bo liang xin..... -
ah cind tear the tissue into two and throw on the floor, kick ah brat's shoulder away.....*dun need liao la*.......Originally posted by bratpig:
where got bo chap u? nah...
*ah brat passes ah cind tissues and his shoulder* -
Originally posted by cindtan29:ah cind tear the tissue into two and throw on the floor, kick ah brat's shoulder away.....*dun need liao la*.......
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he neither huai nor guai leh....how???? haf haf.....wo bu yao.....da bu hao de...Originally posted by InnoHippo:nan ren bu huai nu ren bu ai -
see la. see la.........see la....all ppl see....Originally posted by bratpig:
he still can luff and be happy!!!!.........see la....evidence ....tat he simply BO CHAP!!! -
bu hao = huai mah riteOriginally posted by cindtan29:he neither huai nor guai leh....how???? haf haf.....wo bu yao.....da bu hao de...
nevermind, me lend u shoulder, $5 per minute -
Originally posted by cindtan29:he neither huai nor guai leh....how???? haf haf.....wo bu yao.....da bu hao de...
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hey nashi ....Originally posted by Kenashi:bu hao = huai mah rite
nevermind, me lend u shoulder, $5 per minute
ppl q up to to fight for my head on their shoulders leh....u wan to charge me....better take q no 1st hor....wo si bei bo eng de....
