What To Do With Your Feelings
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Intense emotion can be overwhelming for all of us. And if you're just opening up to an emotion, it can feel very raw. No matter how experienced you are with your emotions, we all need help sometimes to know how to deal with them. Learning to recognize and stay with our feelings is a valuable experience. We can learn that just because we feel something, we don't have to act on it. Or that we can be angry and choose how to respond rather than let the anger control us. The more we know how we feel and ways to feel, release, bewith, or let go of our feelings, the better we feel about ourselves. But how do I know what I'm feeling?
If you don't know how you feel or how to get in touch with your feelings:
1. Identify how you feel:* Sit quietly for a moment; you might want to close your eyes, and then wait and see what you notice from inside.* Notice how different areas of your body feel.* Focus on the areas of tension, breathe, and see if anything comes to your awareness. You don't have to think about it.* Notice whether any thoughts, images, feelings, memories, sounds come to you.* If nothing comes, that's okay. You may still want to continue.* Ask yourself how you're feeling, and be aware of what comes up.* You don't have to figure anything out, just be aware.* If nothing comes to you, that's okay. Sometimes that happens. You may still want to try again, another time.
2. Acknowledge your feelings:* If you know how you feel, let yourself know that this is how you are feeling right now, and that's okay.* You don't have to know where it is coming from.* You don't even have to know what to name it; you may simply know that you have a lot of pain in your chest.* Breathe through it.* Let your feelings just be there.* You don't have to do anything with them, just accept that this is how you feel.But where do these feelings come from? They just seemed to come out of the blue.
If you want to understand why you feel a certain way:1. Identify the source of your feelings:* Know that you are not being "silly" or "crazy" for feeling how you feel;your feelings are there for a good reason.* Turn inward, and ask yourself what are these feelings connected to.* Wait and see what you notice. You might just know. You might remember something, see an image, hear a sound, notice tension in a particular area of your body.* Try not to analyze, interpret or judge what comes to you. Be open to what you notice.* Go deeper. We may think we already know why we're feeling a certain way,but sometimes there is more to it than what we think. Being patient andreceptive helps us to go deeper.* If nothing comes to you, that's okay, too. It helps to just let yourself feel.What do I do with these feelings?
2. Express or release your feelings. Even if you don't know why you are feeling this way, you can still express yourself in the privacy of your own home.* Focus on how you feel. Open your mouth and let a sound come from that feeling.* Move with the feeling. You can dance, stomp around, kick, hit something.* Scream. If you are worried about the sound, you can scream into a pillow.* Cry. If you feel like crying, give yourself permission to do this.* Write or draw from this feeling place. Don't censor yourself, let the feeling do the writing or drawing.* Say out loud what you need to say to someone.* Tell someone supportive how you are feeling.It's too much for me. I can't take it any more. What do I do?
1. Comfort and reassure yourself:* Talk to yourself as you would a friend. Be gentle and kind.* Reassure yourself with whatever you need to hear, for example, "I'm okay,I'm safe."* Curl up in a comfortable chair/bed with a blanket, a warm drink, a goodbook, or watch a show on T.V.* Do something nice for yourself. Treat yourself to something special, takea bubble bath, go to a spa, get a massage.* Talk to a supportive friend. Ask for what you need.
2. Take a break from your feelings: Sometimes feelings become overwhelming and you need a break from them. This doesn't mean denying that they are there, only that you need a break andwill come back to them later when you are rested. After taking a break, itis important to come back to your feelings. They may have changed, and that's okay.
* Create a safe inner place. Let your imagination create an image ofsomething(s) that represents how you are feeling right now. It may be concrete or abstract. Take your time, let your imagination develop this fully. Then imagine a protective bubble around this image, separating yourself from it. Look at the image. Notice that it is still there, but separate from you. Your feelings are still there, but you are not in them right now. You have a choice, you don't have to be in your feelings right now. Let yourself take the break that you need. Taking this break will mean that you will be better able to deal with them later. You may want to imagine yourself in a safe place-any image that you choose.
* Remember times when you felt good. Let yourself relax and get comfortable.Breathe gently. Remember a time when you felt good, loved or calm. It could be something that really happened, or something that you create, like being near a waterfall. Imagine being in this situation or with this person, and feel all of those pleasant feelings. Feel your body shift from what you were feeling, letting those feelings go. Let yourself feel more relaxed,comforted or at peace. Stay with this memory or image until you feel really connected to it.
* Exercise vigorously. This can help you to relax, feel energized, and generally feel better.* Do something that relaxes you.* Do something that absorbs your attention fully. This can help you to shiftout of how you are feeling.* Get a change of scenery. If you have been at home or in the same room alot, maybe you need to get out, even if only for a walk around the block. Change your patterns. If you always go home after work only to feel stuck in your feelings, maybe you need to do something different-go see a concert, a movie, or have dinner out, something that makes you feel good. Doing things to take care of yourself alone may be better than going home alone.It's not always easy to stay with your feelings, but it can be rewarding when you do. -
yea i agree that exercising help to calm down overwhelming emotion. Only when I swim I tend to forget everything...esp all those emotion regarding him dat i wan to get rid off...
the bad news is winter is coming so more swimming outdoor under the lovely sun. sighzzz...
i.c.y -
haha.. freeze to death.. Lucky I'am in singapore hehe..Originally posted by icyprincess:yea i agree that exercising help to calm down overwhelming emotion. Only when I swim I tend to forget everything...esp all those emotion regarding him dat i wan to get rid off...
the bad news is winter is coming so more swimming outdoor under the lovely sun. sighzzz...
i.c.y -
got indoor pool..it is heated sum more...but no sun no funOriginally posted by Evanglion:haha.. freeze to death.. Lucky I'am in singapore hehe..
and it is too faraway oso...
i.c.y -
lazy to read...... anyway i keep my feelings to myself. fullstop.
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That is why you cant control your feelings kekekeke,,,Originally posted by Estee:lazy to read...... anyway i keep my feelings to myself. fullstop.
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hahaha... how u know i can't control my feelings?? i controlled them too well nobody knows what i'm thinking, nobody knows i'm sad when i'm sad.... i smile i laugh doesn't really mean i am leh..... well..... got good got bad..... good is i dun get vulnerable that easily.... sad is.... who will understand me.... i feel 'alone'..... oh well.Originally posted by Evanglion:That is why you cant control your feelings kekekeke,,, -
Everyone feels lonely... Listen to linkin Park songs.. alot about feels..
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hahaha....... if it helps then good.Originally posted by Evanglion:Everyone feels lonely... Listen to linkin Park songs.. alot about feels.. 
if it doesn't..... no problem also..... -
Go sleep is the best liao.
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are u a capricorn?Originally posted by Estee:hahaha... how u know i can't control my feelings?? i controlled them too well nobody knows what i'm thinking, nobody knows i'm sad when i'm sad.... i smile i laugh doesn't really mean i am leh..... well..... got good got bad..... good is i dun get vulnerable that easily.... sad is.... who will understand me.... i feel 'alone'..... oh well.
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They always say "Time Will Heal The Wounds" ....
But... "The Scar Will Always Remain" ...
that's bad enough.. -
Ren Kou Diao Cha ah?? hahahaOriginally posted by Axelheat755:are u a capricorn?
me the 'secretive' scorpio....... -
im quite an un-emotionless person oso. dunnoe when i really angry or not.
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scorpio characterOriginally posted by Estee:hahaha... how u know i can't control my feelings?? i controlled them too well nobody knows what i'm thinking, nobody knows i'm sad when i'm sad.... i smile i laugh doesn't really mean i am leh..... well..... got good got bad..... good is i dun get vulnerable that easily.... sad is.... who will understand me.... i feel 'alone'..... oh well.
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bad right??Originally posted by Devon:scorpio character -
Sometimes I am Mad but i am not angryOriginally posted by Ito_^:im quite an un-emotionless person oso. dunnoe when i really angry or not. -
how can u be mad and not angry? lol..Originally posted by Evanglion:Sometimes I am Mad but i am not angry
i am more likely to remember bitter things, even after many years le, ill still remember. so those cross me really no good ending de, cuz 10 yrs le, ill still remember, dunnoe y.
bt den again, ill also remember who i like, 10 yrs never meet le, ill oso treat u very nice. not to mention love la, i think lifetime sia.. think oni.
i think its a matter of balance la, anger got to get out in a way or another, some fast, some slow, and a few really hibernates or explodes. -
like what you said.. unemotionlessOriginally posted by Ito_^:how can u be mad and not angry? lol..
i am more likely to remember bitter things, even after many years le, ill still remember. so those cross me really no good ending de, cuz 10 yrs le, ill still remember, dunnoe y.
bt den again, ill also remember who i like, 10 yrs never meet le, ill oso treat u very nice. not to mention love la, i think lifetime sia.. think oni.
i think its a matter of balance la, anger got to get out in a way or another, some fast, some slow, and a few really hibernates or explodes. -
ZZzzzzzzz
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Hide it
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actually the truth is that, i learnt quite "recently" was that emotions are not illogical. eotions should not be seperated from logic at all, because emotions are basically more primitive but very fast form of logic.. Located at the older parts of the brain which survived throughout generations of genome evolutions. spare me the medical terms, im no med, i remember basic concepts but not specific terms.
it is just that, they are so primitive and fast, we are unable to effectively control it, including things like instincts. while we can slowly and carefully analyse a problem, much of the solution we actually deprived from consists of very illogical guesswork. so while we say, we are thinking on a problem, we are more or less "guessing" on the solution, by that guts feeling we have. since we are unable to question such feelings, we label them as negative and wrongly manipulating our actions.. which the resultant reality proves that emotions are important, and does not exists as an entity on its own. and that we in reality base our so called logics and common sense on emotional guesswork.
so next time when you are angry, its time to analyse why are you angry, instead of surpressing it, because behind each emotional outburst, there is an underlying analysis of logic behind. in short, emotion are logical and part of our logical mind.
i admire a friend of mine, although she is supposingly an emotional person, she prefers to speak it out and talk it over instead of surpressing her emotions like most of us do, which is not only incorrect but also very illogical, resulting in an insecure mindset and causes chemical imbalance in our mind. i admit i am guilty of that myself, perhaps that is the main cause of my mental instability. so while she thinks (due to popular belief) that is her biggest weakness, and seem to be an anti-social act, i do think that is her strength and point of admiration. but like i always believe, moderation is very important, overdo it, its easy to screw things up. although it is not me to praise someone for anything..
to say a person as emotional, no longer synchronize with the meaning of inefficiency nor insanity although most mental illness show signs of emotional instability. imo this should be renamed as logical instability instead. on the other hand, the emotional person is more mentally stable than people who prefer to seal up their emotions and lock them in a balloon waiting to burst.
my 2 cents on this topic.