PLS HELP ME HERE...
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think she was hurt last time already n might have forgiven him, this might be a recurring incident for himOriginally posted by ^sylvia^:^5
anyway claud.. its tough cos u know she will be hurt, but hurt her now than she's being hurt by the guy deeply.. now just new step for her..
so i guess the damage will not be that strong and hard~ jia you claud! -
smooching not kissing meh?
A colleague of mine is going to ROM at the end of this month, since theyÂ’ve got their new apartment. They have met 1.5yrs ago n have decided to get hitched. By right, we are suppose to be happy for her, but one of our colleague told us that on many occasions, he saw her bf with another gal, smooching n behaving intimately.
We didnÂ’t want to or know how to break this news to herÂ…
Pls adviseÂ…Originally posted by ditzy:
Kissing or no kissing has nothing to do with this!!!!
[/b] -
.Originally posted by Imperfect:definitely she dont know him well i guess...
this is definate... -
he did it with another gal, not with my colleagueOriginally posted by foga:smooching not kissing meh? -
better find out the reasons for them tying the knot...Originally posted by claud:there was one occassion before we knew that they were going to ROm, she was on the line with her beau n ive over heard her saying.."better not do it again" in a very harsh tone.. this happen sometime in jan...
pic of bf with another lady was taken many times from last yr dec to apr..
seems to me that something big is hidden underneath
first $ was deposited for her to spend...
then he can be intimate with other ladies and say hi to your friend...
then she shun him like epidemic...
he can always flirt with other ladies and gain her forgiveness...
then now ROM for flat...
start by asking her is she serious and have taken deep considerations abt going to ROM with that guy... then slowly break the news of his unfaithfulness to her and see what she says... got to question her according to her answers but i think this is a good way to start...
finally need to prompt her these too...
ask her what is it that she wants in a relationship and is it found in this r/s...
what does it mean when bf promise u he wont do it again but repeat his mistakes of being unfaithful... -
other ppl have hinted to her like... u are still so young, y decide on one tree when u have a forest of it... everything is not stable for her financially... how to survive??Originally posted by M©+square:I think you should protect your friend.
Tell her and let her decide. -
of coz cannot cheat in a r/s la.. but when one wants to tou chi, n has wiped mouth clean, how to find evidenceOriginally posted by foga:a very difficult situasi.
ur friend doesn't know yet.
if u close to the female friend, tell her.
cheating in a relationship is a big NONO. -
need to know why the hurry to ROM also...
if it is due to price of flats will rise in future, ROM may tie the guy down, age, pressure, etc... then better reconsider... -
age is defiantely out.. shes 22 n he's 25 this yr..Originally posted by Imperfect:need to know why the hurry to ROM also...
if it is due to price of flats will rise in future, ROM may tie the guy down, age, pressure, etc... then better reconsider...
flat, no idea...
maybe beocz he is rich, being a air force personnel.. -
i think your friend know about this though.. don't tell her anymore or she will think your just some kpo lor
not worth losing friendship for a loser(i mean ur friend's bf~)
maybe she's in fiancial needs thats why so harsh about marriage?(sorry for saying..) -
tou chi? u've got the pics. ur call man. let ur galfreind now, risk breakin her heart now. or keep it a secret, hopin that guy would change after marriage, and risk her breaking her heart even deeper.Originally posted by claud:of coz cannot cheat in a r/s la.. but when one wants to tou chi, n has wiped mouth clean, how to find evidence
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mayb need to have a good talk with her to know what is the driving force behind her decision to ROM with the guy???Originally posted by claud:other ppl have hinted to her like... u are still so young, y decide on one tree when u have a forest of it... everything is not stable for her financially... how to survive?? -
I have a friend who's guy beau is after her money nia, and she knows(duhz) but they are going to ROM end this year. She's tried repeated attempts to break up with him, but he just manages to persuade her not to. They've been together for 6 years.
Ok, anyway like that has anything to do with the problem here. I've went thru the 2 pages of this thread to come to this possible solution.
Like you said, you are merely a close friend, so interfering into her private affairs would be a no go. Telling her the problem straight in the face might cause even bigger misunderstandings.
The best approach I mentioned in short earlier is to hint to her. What I mean is to sit down and have a nice chat with her, face to face and serious, no jokes. Ask her if her decision to ROM is truly confirmed. Give her 'what if's' questions to answer. you should know what I mean. eg. "what if you find out your beau is foolin' around behind your back?" and blah blah blah so and so.
Do it till she gets a slight hint and ask you back. This is when you might want make your move. Go nice and slow. Subtle is the word. You don't want to make yourself look like a kaypoh into her private affairs. Nobody likes kaypohs, especially one that makes up nasty things about their loved ones.
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ask her if she is really ready for it lor... if not then just forget it... it is not a law that a gal must agree to a guy's proposal when he propose mah...Originally posted by claud:age is defiantely out.. shes 22 n he's 25 this yr..
flat, no idea...
maybe beocz he is rich, being a air force personnel.. -
airforce personnel is rich?? oh well, whatever..
anyway, it's her life...
methinks, unless invited in, we have no place in their world, or their decisions...
all we can do as friends is to offer support and be there for them...
that's me tho'...
i guess you have to find your own way as there are some things which you will feel differently about, and have different priorities about...
i hope you find your way
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so we asked... " have u got ur gown for tat day"
"oh, no need, the bridal shop will have one" we've paid for the package, so we asked curiously, "so will be expecting the dinner to come so la".. no la was her replied.. tat will be 3yrs down the road..
our eyes were so damn big, :the silly thing was that, full payment was made..
Who can assure tat the shop will survive 3yrs later?? -
Originally posted by claud:so we asked... " have u got ur gown for tat day"
"oh, no need, the bridal shop will have one" we've paid for the package, so we asked curiously, "so will be expecting the dinner to come so la".. no la was her replied.. tat will be 3yrs down the road..
our eyes were so damn big, :the silly thing was that, full payment was made..
Who can assure tat the shop will survive 3yrs later??
no comments liao...
and so she is still keen on ROM at the end of the month??? -
so ppl,.. when u get married, who wld pay the montly instalments of the house?? the joint acc which u both share, ur acc, or ur partners???
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a regular.. think after service of how many yrs, will get a huge lump sum of $$...Originally posted by the Bear:airforce personnel is rich?? oh well, whatever..
anyway, it's her life...
methinks, unless invited in, we have no place in their world, or their decisions...
all we can do as friends is to offer support and be there for them...
that's me tho'...
i guess you have to find your own way as there are some things which you will feel differently about, and have different priorities about...
i hope you find your way
lend a crying shoulder to her when she knows the truth?? theres limited things i can do... -
should be paying together bah...Originally posted by claud:so ppl,.. when u get married, who wld pay the montly instalments of the house?? the joint acc which u both share, ur acc, or ur partners???
i dont earn big bucks and it is not easy to pay alone nowadays...
but for this case i think that guy can pay alone right since is airforce regular... but got think of future if he dont wanna stay with airforce how or not??? -
Originally posted by claud:A colleague of mine is going to ROM at the end of this month, since theyÂ’ve got their new apartment. They have met 1.5yrs ago n have decided to get hitched. By right, we are suppose to be happy for her, but one of our colleague told us that on many occasions, he saw her bf with another gal, smooching n behaving intimately.
We didnÂ’t want to or know how to break this news to herÂ…
Pls adviseÂ…
Chose between tell or not tell - always heed this theory.
If good friends - always tell.
If casual - depends.
Cheers -
short and sweetOriginally posted by Yunhaier: Chose between tell or not tell - always heed this theory.
If good friends - always tell.
If casual - depends.
Cheers
right to the point...
as usual master yun will shed lights on critical points... -
Originally posted by Imperfect:
ya i agree with u also... either he has too much $$$ to spent liao or his brain has "short-circut or he is feeling guilty...
better find out the reasons for them tying the knot...
seems to me that something big is hidden underneath
first $ was deposited for her to spend...
then he can be intimate with other ladies and say hi to your friend...
then she shun him like epidemic...
he can always flirt with other ladies and gain her forgiveness...
then now ROM for flat...
start by asking her is she serious and have taken deep considerations abt going to ROM with that guy... then slowly break the news of his unfaithfulness to her and see what she says... got to question her according to her answers but i think this is a good way to start...
finally need to prompt her these too...
ask her what is it that she wants in a relationship and is it found in this r/s...
what does it mean when bf [b]promise u he wont do it again but repeat his mistakes of being unfaithful...
[/b] -
true true but sometime it is always hard to relieve such thingsOriginally posted by Imperfect:short and sweet
right to the point...
as usual master yun will shed lights on critical points...
whether is good friends or not... coz this tends to break up a relationship either way..... -
check whether the guy got a twin brother or not lehOriginally posted by claud:A colleague of mine is going to ROM at the end of this month, since theyÂ’ve got their new apartment. They have met 1.5yrs ago n have decided to get hitched. By right, we are suppose to be happy for her, but one of our colleague told us that on many occasions, he saw her bf with another gal, smooching n behaving intimately.
We didnÂ’t want to or know how to break this news to herÂ…
Pls adviseÂ…