Sulzfeld
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Sulzfeld
Church bells of Sulzfeld gently toil,
Their melody ringing over the fields.
The gently rolling countryside,
Vineyards abundant amongst lush greens.
A patchwork of red brown and grey,
White brick walls, the town they make.
Sapphire skies and emerald lands,
And the ruins atop the hill they stand.
An ancient castle, once was mighty,
The town, the lands, it shall protect.
But time conquers all, it always has,
Ravensburg Castle began to crumble.
All that's left of it today,
A tower remains, still standing proud.
Eager visitors can choose to climb,
To see the magnificent countryside.
Its share of wars, Sulzfeld has seen,
Battle of Cyriakus, it was a win.
But the Swedes damaged it twice,
The 30 Years War, it wasn't kind.
Earls of Castell and Henneberg,
And Margrave Achilles,
They fought but failed,
To conquer Ravensburg and Sulzfeld.
Today it sits pretty, bustling and bright,
7 villages in the distant countryside.
Take a stroll along the lush grape vines,
Or climb the tower, oh behold the sight! -
My comment on this poem is basically the same with ‘Avignon’. A good poem but lacks that personal touch. If you don’t mind me being nosey, I have a couple of suggestions for you.
First, tried to experiment with rhyme. Although not necessary, but will be very useful especially with poems of such nature.
Secondly use your imagination, add it some personal touch. For example, imagine you are taking a stroll at that location. What do you see? How does it affect you? Does it remind you of someone or certain incidents in your life? EtcÂ…
(See ‘Singapore’s my home’ by Bear @Muse thread)
Try it, should be quite interesting.
In my opinion this is a better poem than ‘Avignon’ especially the last two lines, excellent!
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D/post
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true true...
ok i have a nice place to write about... one which holds great emotions for me... Marseille.