my little contribution
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Sticky Candy
Tears of sorrow filled the air
Knowing that someone will never be there
A person long gone can never be seen
Leaving the memories to be relived
Through the years that have passed by
You, my love, is always by my side
Fighting my sorrows, sadness and tears
Making me feel better with your cheers
Hearing the news of you away,
My heart breaks with wanning ache
Anguish, regrets struck my mind
Realizing the years youÂ’re left behind
With the times when IÂ’m away,
You must have suffered in darkening days
Loss of words to express myself
For I have walked pass your gloomy days
I set my foot on the very last day
Weeping no tears as IÂ’m finally awake
Feeling your presence then I slowly realized
You will always be there, by my side
To my undying friend,
Forever you live.
With happy memories,
Together, we shall be
A poem dedicated to a friend whom I never learnt to cherish until the day when its too late. She passed aways.. I hope she will led a wonderful life, away from sorrow, sadness and tears. Like a sleeping beauty, peaceful and living happily ever afterÂ…. -
This is a remarkable poem and I congratulate you on it. Your poems are getting better and better. Are you sure you are new to poetry?
Emotionally intense, well-structured, excellent flow, etc. Keep it up.
P.S. I am very sorry about your friend. I believe she must be in somewhere wonderful. Take care.
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I haven't been here for a while but I see serash, you've re-written the poem to 'Sticky Candy'? Very nicely done too.
I like both version of 'Dreaming of You'. But somehow, I feel that serash's version sound more like a lost little girl, while Dead Poet's one sounded more mature...? I think so. Hehe, I'm not too good at deciphering poems but that's how I feel from reading the two different poems.
I like 'Sticky Candy' alot. It's sad but meaningful. Truely a lesson to be learned in life. Not to take for-granted of people close to you. I think in your spare time, you should write more poems, serash. I feel that everyone has a different way of expressing their emotions and yours, I read it from the poems you create. -
Someone commented that what I wrote was compelling verse. Well you are right phantasystar, serash does have the talent of writing poetry. Sticky Candy is a brilliant piece of work.Originally posted by phantasystar:I haven't been here for a while but I see serash, you've re-written the poem to 'Sticky Candy'? Very nicely done too.
I like both version of 'Dreaming of You'. But somehow, I feel that serash's version sound more like a lost little girl, while Dead Poet's one sounded more mature...? I think so. Hehe, I'm not too good at deciphering poems but that's how I feel from reading the two different poems.
I like 'Sticky Candy' alot. It's sad but meaningful. Truely a lesson to be learned in life. Not to take for-granted of people close to you. I think in your spare time, you should write more poems, serash. I feel that everyone has a different way of expressing their emotions and yours, I read it from the poems you create.
What about you? Want to give it a try?
P.S. And of course, I am more mature (in term of age lah) than serash.
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hi guys,just came back from my oriantation camp...super tired and drained!!
anyway thanx for your lovely comments on the poem sticky candy...its really a lesson i learnt,never take your friends or even people around you forgranted...you will never know wat will happen in future and regret is definitely not something you'll wanna have.. -
What orientation camp?Originally posted by serash:hi guys,just came back from my oriantation camp...super tired and drained!!
anyway thanx for your lovely comments on the poem sticky candy...its really a lesson i learnt,never take your friends or even people around you forgranted...you will never know wat will happen in future and regret is definitely not something you'll wanna have.. -
well,its sort of a hostel comp,ya know, get to know the people around you.Its quite fun actually but super tiring,you get at most 3 to 4 hours sleep per day and this camp last for 6 whole days!!!!!sigh~~~super taxing but very fun
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Heehee. Main thing is to have fun.Originally posted by serash:well,its sort of a hostel comp,ya know, get to know the people around you.Its quite fun actually but super tiring,you get at most 3 to 4 hours sleep per day and this camp last for 6 whole days!!!!!sigh~~~super taxing but very fun
But not for me, becos I am that anti-social type.