You are a jackass!
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Please don't try this at work/home. Kitty, after you read this, you sure pengs!
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered and I politely said, ‘This is Patrick, could I please speak to Robin?’
Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldnÂ’t believe that anyone could be that rude.
I tracked down RobinÂ’s correct number and called him. He apologized as he had given the last two digits incorrectly.
After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again.
When the same person once more answered, I yelled ‘You’re a jackass!’ and hung up.
Next to his phone number I wrote the word ‘jackass,’ and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I’d call him up. He’d answer, and I’d yell, ‘You’re a jackass!’ It would always cheer me up.
Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID. This was a real disappointment for me, I would have to stop calling the jackass.
Then one day I had an idea. 
I dialed his number, then heard his voice, and I made up a name. ‘Hi. This is the sales office of the telephone company and I’m just calling to see if you’re familiar with our caller ID program?’
He went, ‘No!’ and slammed the phone down.
I quickly called him back and said, ‘That’s because you’re a jackass!’
On another day, this old lady at the mall really took her time pulling out of the parking place. I didnÂ’t think she was ever going to leave. Finally, her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the slot.
I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out. Great, I thought, sheÂ’s finally leaving. All of a sudden this black Toyota come flying up the parking isle in the wrong direction and pulls into her space.
I started honking my horn and yelling, ‘You can’t just do that, Buddy. I was here first!’
The guy climbed out of his Toyota completely ignoring me. He walked toward the mall as if he didn’t even hear me. I thought to myself, this guy’s a jackass, there sure a lot of jackasses in this world. I noticed he had a ‘For Sale’ sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the number. Then I hunted for another place to park.
To be continue ...... -
A couple of days later, I’m at home sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling the first guy and yelling, ‘You’re a jackass!’ (It’s really easy to call him now since I have his number on speed dial.)
I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Toyota lying on my desk and thought I’d better call this guy, too. After a couple rings someone answered the phone and said, ‘Hello.’
I said, ‘Is this the man with the black Toyota for sale?’
‘Yes, it is.’
‘Can you tell me where I can see it?’
‘Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It’s a yellow house and the car is parked right out front.’
I said, ‘What’s your name?’
‘My name is James.’
‘When’s a good time to catch you, James?’
‘I’m home in the evenings.’
‘Listen James, can I tell you something?’
‘Yes?’
‘James, you’re a jackass!’ And I slammed the phone down.
After I hung up I added JamesÂ’s number to my speed dialer. For a while things seemed to be going better for me. Now when I had a problem I had two jackasses to call. Then, after a while, it wasnÂ’t as enjoyable as it used to be. I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution:
First, I had my phone dial Jackass #1. He answered and I yelled ‘You’re a jackass!’, but I didn’t hang up.
Jackass #1 said, ‘Are you still there?’
I said, ‘Yeah.’
He said, ‘Stop calling me, you bastard!’
I said, ‘No.’
He said, ‘What’s your name?’
I said, ‘James.’
He said ‘Where do you live?’
‘1802 West 34th street. It’s a yellow house and my black Toyota is parked out front.’
‘I’m coming over right now, James. You’d better start saying your prayers.’
‘Yeah, like I’m really scared, Jackass!’ and I hung up.
Then I called Jackass #2.
He answered, ‘Hello?’
I said, ‘Hello, Jackass!’
He said, ‘If I ever find out who you are, I will ….’
‘You will what?’
‘I’ll kick your butt!’
‘Well, here’s your chance. I’m coming over right now Jackass! You better be ready!’
And I hung up.
Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was at 1802 West 34th street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as he got home.
Another quick call to the News Channel about the gang war going on down West 34th street. After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th street to watch the whole day.
Glorious! Watching two jackasses kicking the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars and a police helicopter was one of the greatest experiences of my life!
If you should decide to try this out. This moderator will not be hold responsible for any troubles or lawsuits that resulted from your action. Thank you. -
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*pengz*
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Wow..
u remind me of the Jerky Boys
LOL -
Who are the Jerky Boys???Originally posted by Patrik:Wow..
u remind me of the Jerky Boys
LOL -
Wah, cool avatar!Originally posted by True_Xerion:*pengz* -
stock material from sgforum library hee hee, thank admin, not meOriginally posted by DeadPoet:Wah, cool avatar! i wanna add my own wan btw, from Gunbound lol
TX -
By the way, what's the meaning of 'latro nocturnus'???Originally posted by True_Xerion:stock material from sgforum library hee hee, thank admin, not me i wanna add my own wan btw, from Gunbound lol
TX -
Hmm..
Jerky Boys..
They are a group of people who alwaz make prank calls and den record it down...
U can find them at Kazaa..Just type Jerky Boys -
oops paiseh juz saw this .... means 'Hunter of the Night' , loosely translated of course, i dunno abt latin but i know every night i'm chasng for sleep lol ....Originally posted by DeadPoet:By the way, what's the meaning of 'latro nocturnus'???
TX -
duh....
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your daughter kicked my dog!!!!
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LOL..Originally posted by ratinacage:your daughter kicked my dog!!!!
yeah tts the one!!!
hahahaha...
"Ur daughter came to my house todaey and she kicked my dog..and my dog now needs operation and i am going to sue her." -