Stories and Questions
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I went to Bar forum and happen to read a topic abt "having a Bf is like don't have a bf...."
I am going to share part of my story and throw you guys some question and needed your opinion.
6 yrs ago when I was a small fly, working as IT sales with very very low pay.
I had a gf which born with a golden spoon and 1st yr in NUS. I can't even support her nor going outing every weekends. Becos she wanted to see me and be with me she pay for all bills and suppport me.
We did not work out after 3 yrs due to she said "I need a bf that I can see and company everyday".
During the 3 yrs I was working so hard and studying my private diploma, I do not have much time and extra money to spend on her.....
Question :
Girl
1) If you are the gal above, would you prefer your guy to take caree fist or r/s first ?
2) Do you prefer a bf that can support you and you don't need to work?
Guy
1) If you were me above, would you prefer a gf that is not working and supporting by parents and bf?
2) Base on the story above, how would you fee if you were me that your gf is paying all expenses for you during the 3 years?
3) If you completed your study and career has been stable, would you want your gf do whatever she likes but not working? ( if you can affort) -
FOS is a lucky chap
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I won't haf allowed d r/s 2 continue.....
My sense of self-worth wud b diminished if she pays for me always.....
Call me bigoted or chauvanistic.....
I AM WAT I AM......
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Originally posted by F.O.S:
I don't want such a gf, she don't know the value or concept of money.
I went to Bar forum and happen to read a topic abt "having a Bf is like don't have a bf...."
I am going to share part of my story and throw you guys some question and needed your opinion.
6 yrs ago when I was a small fly, working as IT sales with very very low pay.
I had a gf which born with a golden spoon and 1st yr in NUS. I can't even support her nor going outing every weekends. Becos she wanted to see me and be with me she pay for all bills and suppport me.
We did not work out after 3 yrs due to she said "I need a bf that I can see and company everyday".
During the 3 yrs I was working so hard and studying my private diploma, I do not have much time and extra money to spend on her.....
Question :
[b]Girl
1) If you are teh gal above, would you prefer your guy to take caree fist or r/s first ?
Guy
1) If you were me above, would you prefer a gf that is not working and supporting by parents and bf?
2) Base on the story above, how would you fee if you were me that your gf is paying all expenses for you during the 3 years?
3) If you completed your study and career has been stable, would you want your gf do whatever she likes but not working? ( if you can affort)
[/b]
Won't have such a situation since I won't date such a gal.
No. She should be self-sufficient. I don't want a parasite feeding on me. Furthermore if I break up with her, what will happen to her!!! -
I am always lucky in your point of view , but I lost prideOriginally posted by InnoHippo:FOS is a lucky chap 
There are lots of diffculties in that which you nv see.
example :
1)you will nv go to place you like, its always is the place she likes
2) you will nv be alone or ( quiet time)
3) she pay, she has the say
She even bought me a dog without second thoughts of the expenses later , and just throw the dog for me to take care. -
Thats a good question, I had tried to break up with her many times during the relationship, she threaten to commit sucide, but at the end of it when she found a guy which is rich and able to support her , she can forget me over nightOriginally posted by Kenashi:I don't want such a gf, she don't know the value or concept of money.
Won't have such a situation since I won't date such a gal.
No. She should be self-sufficient. I don't want a parasite feeding on me. Furthermore if I break up with her, what will happen to her!!!
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Men dun cry...we bleed......
Luv her but can't take care of her ?
Mite as well giv her wings 2 fly wif blessings 2 venture...... -
If now you are able to take care of her, would you allow her stay at home, shopping ...... and don't work?Originally posted by pipi & poot-poot:Men dun cry...we bleed......
Luv her but can't take care of her ?
Mite as well giv her wings 2 fly wif blessings 2 venture...... -
did u check with her if the dog is for your consumption?Originally posted by F.O.S:I am always lucky in your point of view , but I lost pride There are lots of diffculties in that which you nv see.
example :
1)you will nv go to place you like, its always is the place she likes
2) you will nv be alone or ( quiet time)
3) she pay, she has the say
She even bought me a dog without second thoughts of the expenses later , and just throw the dog for me to take care. -
in spore, u have money.. career.. u sure can get a girl. it a fact.
but.. whether the ger love u is another thing -
The dog is still alive and I am paying for the food and medicalOriginally posted by InnoHippo:did u check with her if the dog is for your consumption? 
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even you don't have money you can get a girl, my concern is that would you allow a gal to pay for you or would you allow yourself to pay all the expenses of a gal for whole in return after 3 year of studies?Originally posted by blowfish:in spore, u have money.. career.. u sure can get a girl. it a fact.
but.. whether the ger love u is another thing -
If my finances allows it....why not ?Originally posted by F.O.S:If now you are able to take care of her, would you allow her stay at home, shopping ...... and don't work?
But on d other hand.....even if she can afford d livin expenses.....hers & mine....
It wud stil b a definite no.....
I was born wif a stiff back-bone....rily stiff.... -
ur question is a bit ambiguous, when u said "pay for you", u mean everything n every time u guys r out? Also I m curious as in she started paying after u guys r together or even b4 u guys got together?Originally posted by F.O.S:even you don't have money you can get a girl, my concern is that would you allow a gal to pay for you or would you allow yourself to pay all the expenses of a gal for whole in return after 3 year of studies?
If u do accept her financing ur studies n everything including day to day expenses in the 1st place, then I'm sorry 2 said that u got no rights 2 talk abt pride in the 1st place, since u accept the financial aid willingly.
Well having accept financial aid 4 3 yrs liao, if that's the option taken, then it's only right that you returned all the money, roughly lah, regardless of whether u guys r together, or else u will nvr redeem ur so-called pride.
Given such a situation, receiving financial aid from ur gf is not such a big deal, provided u don't abandoned her lah. Even if she did the abandoning. I will return her the sum for studies. As for day to day expenses, I think I m quite capable 2 sustain myself, working n studying at the same time. -
Originally posted by F.O.S:
1. No. I would definitely prefer it better if she's more independent. Then again, I probably won't penalise her because of that..
[b]Guy
1) If you were me above, would you prefer a gf that is not working and supporting by parents and bf?
2) Base on the story above, how would you fee if you were me that your gf is paying all expenses for you during the 3 years?
3) If you completed your study and career has been stable, would you want your gf do whatever she likes but not working? ( if you can affort)
[/b]
2. Probably nothing much? But I would try to urge her to try and enjoy a less costly life-style with me so that I can contribute a bit financially for the relationship too?
3. Probably would prefer her to be working unless she can find something which is REALLY MUCH MORE MEANINGFUL to do in life... -
Originally posted by F.O.S:
I wouldn't mind dat at all man....
6 yrs ago when I was a small fly, working as IT sales with very very low pay.
I had a gf which born with a golden spoon and 1st yr in NUS. I can't even support her nor going outing every weekends. Becos she wanted to see me and be with me she pay for all bills and suppport me.
[/b]
Would U???
HAHAHA -
1st I have to clearify that I am not here to compliant, just to read others opinion.Originally posted by mercutioz:ur question is a bit ambiguous, when u said "pay for you", u mean everything n every time u guys r out? Also I m curious as in she started paying after u guys r together or even b4 u guys got together?
If u do accept her financing ur studies n everything including day to day expenses in the 1st place, then I'm sorry 2 said that u got no rights 2 talk abt pride in the 1st place, since u accept the financial aid willingly.
Well having accept financial aid 4 3 yrs liao, if that's the option taken, then it's only right that you returned all the money, roughly lah, regardless of whether u guys r together, or else u will nvr redeem ur so-called pride.
Given such a situation, receiving financial aid from ur gf is not such a big deal, provided u don't abandoned her lah. Even if she did the abandoning. I will return her the sum for studies. As for day to day expenses, I think I m quite capable 2 sustain myself, working n studying at the same time.
My salary can only affort my school fees and my basic expenses, she just started by paying movies, food , everything slowly whatever we went out.
She has to eat in "air condition" place , she knows I can't affort it and she will always find excuses that is becos of her thats why she needed to pay.
I do agree with Devil1976, ask her to lower down the expenses so that I can share the burden, but we always ended up quarrel.....
I am not talk abt pride here, if I am I won't be posting it here.
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Originally posted by F.O.S:
this happened to me before... it's ok of my guy works n study at the same time, but i would wanna hav some time with him...
Girl
1) If you are the gal above, would you prefer your guy to take caree fist or r/s first ?
2) Do you prefer a bf that can support you and you don't need to work?
wat my guy did was, he was takin his poly dip in teh day, n pte diploma at nite. all spare time was spent with his darling game...and that pissed me off really badly... he would not wanna come out on dates n all that cos he wanna play his WC3.. everytime i went over, wanting to try n get him out, i ended up being a deco in his room...
in the end, he stopped takin his pte diploma...the reason he gave was, i'm not supportive of him takin it.. <-- i'm not supportive of him playin wc3... i have nothin against him takin an extra diploma..
basically, career first lor...but must leave some time for me oso...i ever had a bf in my sec sch days, who disappears for long periods...i couldn recognise his voice when he finally decided to call after disappearin for 2 months..
as for the 2nd question, i would prefer my guy who is that well-off or stable financially... i would still wanna work however...
i would not wan a guy to support me...wo you shou you jiao..wei shen me yao ren yang ne? it will be a different story liao if i kena retrenched or sth... -
Being an advocate of new world, new decisions, new options and new choices, I will have to say the following (a little too ideal but still can be managed):
1) Firstly, love is a two-way process as such I feel it might be better if
- If there is a conflict between two decisions, always follow the rule of having equal share of the outcome. i.e. Today, your decisions. Tomorrow, my decisions. Until then, you have to try to accomodate one another's way of life even in the future.
2) Secondly, money is an external factor in love. It cannot be used to subject another to one's will. There will be a time when the mine can run out of gold. Moreover, we must understand we're no longer in a time phrase where might alone earns the keep. Men are no longer the sole breadwinner of the family, so we must adopt the practice of sharing burden. Thus, it is no longer important to remind ourselves who is footing the bill.
3) Thirdly, love is unconditional. Please throw away the old view that men at work, women at chores. Women are not items, possessions and slaves or decorational vases. They have their own views and ideals such that we cannot avoid and should not force them to accept roles we expect them to. However, it changes when other responsibilities are more critical like and we might need to adjust to suit the needs to give up the wants:
- Having a handicapped family member that require constant care
- Having children, or aged family members that are not capable of handling themselves
Thus, in situations similar to the abovementioned, a consensus must be reached between both parties.
4) Last, love is between two parties, not the whole world. Your own decisions and calls are more important than anything. -
Derfel thinks this question is too serious for a place like this.
Ha! Ha! Ha!