Survey on Long Distance relationships
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Long Distance relationship in this topic means a couple together for 2 years and the guy needs to work overseas for 2 years.
Is there any similar cases that in the end really happly ever after?
In the guy point of view I think career is important, without career I can't provide a better living for my family.
For the gal's view is why there is a stable job in Singapore earning a decent living and she don't require the guy to be very rich.
My question are :
Guy should go or stay
Gal should give in or insist
how many % the guy will have misterss
how many % the gal will be unfaithful?
Needed both equal number of guys and gals to give the answer. -
must sum up combined income to see if it is worth the venture abroad mah .....
also watch out for telephone bills and travelling expenses .....
if guy feels lonely abroad how? .....
if girl needs someone to comfort and care for her how? .....
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1)Gal and the guy don't depends on each other in finance.Originally posted by InnoHippo:must sum up combined income to see if it is worth the venture abroad mah .....
also watch out for telephone bills and travelling expenses .....
if guy feels lonely abroad how? .....
if girl needs someone to comfort and care for her how? .....
2) The place the guy went using IP phone for overseas, its free and as and when he is able to contact also that there will be video conferencing for both of them.
3) comfort?? I believe if the gal needs, the guy also needs it too, if both feltl needed but don't allow the other party to be unfaithful better take a showerh with cold water and think about it before doing it. -
cold shower everyday very torturing one u knowOriginally posted by F.O.S:1)Gal and the guy don't depends on each other in finance.
2) The place the guy went using IP phone for overseas, its free and as and when he is able to contact also that there will be video conferencing for both of them.
3) comfort?? I believe if the gal needs, the guy also needs it too, if both feltl needed but don't allow the other party to be unfaithful better take a showerh with cold water and think about it before doing it.
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so you can't come up with a suggestion, so you think the guy should stay to comfort the gal??Originally posted by InnoHippo:cold shower everyday very torturing one u know -
well ..... i think long distance relationships are just too risky .....Originally posted by F.O.S:so you can't come up with a suggestion, so you think the guy should stay to comfort the gal??
just my personal opinion hor ..... no forest fires pls ..... -
nah, this is forum 30s, no fireOriginally posted by InnoHippo:well ..... i think long distance relationships are just too risky .....
just my personal opinion hor ..... no forest fires pls .....
well I hate the most is if the gal is faithful, but some how some guys just take the advantages of her bf is not around
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having an attractive gf is never easyOriginally posted by F.O.S:nah, this is forum 30s, no fire
well I hate the most is if the gal is faithful, but some how some guys just take the advantages of her bf is not around -
hello,Originally posted by InnoHippo:having an attractive gf is never easy
I think you know guys lah, skinny , fat , pretty, ugly as long is gal also can right?
not becos gf is pretty, but I dont deny that attractive one is higher risk -
well...no choice de la this one.Originally posted by F.O.S:nah, this is forum 30s, no fire
well I hate the most is if the gal is faithful, but some how some guys just take the advantages of her bf is not around
U cant stop anyone from goin after the girl ma.
Of cos long distance relationship even worst...such things sure to happen.... alot of things in relation are beyond our control...so just tok it thru and make the decision....if it doesnt turn out the way both parties wanted in the end...then maybe its just not meant to be....at least the decision is agree upon by both parties.
There are success stories and stories of failures...noone noe for certain wats its gonna be...just go thru it and see where it takes you loh. -
sighOriginally posted by xking:well...no choice de la this one.
U cant stop anyone from goin after the girl ma.
Of cos long distance relationship even worst...such things sure to happen.... alot of things in relation are beyond our control...so just tok it thru and make the decision....if it doesnt turn out the way both parties wanted in the end...then maybe its just not meant to be....at least the decision is agree upon by both parties.
There are success stories and stories of failures...noone noe for certain wats its gonna be...just go thru it and see where it takes you loh.
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I can't support with any statistics. Sorry, not a data collection bureau.
I think he should go overseas because life is short and one should make the most of every opportunity given. It's not just about the money, or that he can work locally... it's about building up experiences and the long term view of a career.
I think the relationship can survive, with some conditions:
Relationship must be very secure and stable before seperation.
Both parties have a mature mindset. Means they're not prone to minor bullsh|t stuff like "Girl A likes Guy B, Guy B likes Girl C..." "He never send me goodnight SMS, very sad" etc
Both have a life of their own, outside of being a couple. They have things like work, hobbies, to occupy their time. If now, a large portion of their time is spent together, they are inseperable and very dependent on each other for most things, then seperation will be difficult.
There is a certain objective at the end of the 2 years seperation, and couple is committed to it & the relationship. E.g. couple is sure that they want to have a long term relationship. Or plans to marry. Else they may ask "what's the point?" somewhere down the line.
2 years isn't a long time at all. Keep in touch frequently. If possible, arrange for her to go over, or him to come back for home visit, a couple of times a year. -
X 5 agree , you light up my lifeOriginally posted by choco B:I can't support with any statistics. Sorry, not a data collection bureau.
I think he should go overseas because life is short and one should make the most of every opportunity given. It's not just about the money, or that he can work locally... it's about building up experiences and the long term view of a career.
I think the relationship can survive, with some conditions:
Relationship must be very secure and stable before seperation.
Both parties have a mature mindset. Means they're not prone to minor bullsh|t stuff like "Girl A likes Guy B, Guy B likes Girl C..." "He never send me goodnight SMS, very sad" etc
Both have a life of their own, outside of being a couple. They have things like work, hobbies, to occupy their time. If now, a large portion of their time is spent together, they are inseperable and very dependent on each other for most things, then seperation will be difficult.
There is a certain objective at the end of the 2 years seperation, and couple is committed to it & the relationship. E.g. couple is sure that they want to have a long term relationship. Or plans to marry. Else they may ask "what's the point?" somewhere down the line.
2 years isn't a long time at all. Keep in touch frequently. If possible, arrange for her to go over, or him to come back for home visit, a couple of times a year.
feel better now , thanks. -
I think it is not a matter of 'should' or 'should not'.
It depends on individual. Would you give up better prospect or your loved one?
It would be best if two can go together lor. but if not, then one can't also be selfish to a person by his/her side knowing that there is still uncertainty in the future. As the saying goes, "Opportunity knocks only once". -
usually when happen the gal side always don't talk sense lorOriginally posted by LilO gIrL:I think it is not a matter of 'should' or 'should not'.
It depends on individual. Would you give up better prospect or your loved one?
It would be best if two can go together lor. but if not, then one can't also be selfish to a person by his/her side knowing that there is still uncertainty in the future. As the saying goes, "Opportunity knocks only once". -
*grins* So easy to light siah. This means you feel the relationship is strong enough for this seperation lah?
It'll still take alot of effort .... but I think when we have something good on hand, we ought to try harder to make it work.Originally posted by F.O.S:X 5 agree , you light up my life
feel better now , thanks. -
actually I feel the same, just that I still have to prepare for the worst to happen.Originally posted by choco B:*grins* So easy to light siah. This means you feel the relationship is strong enough for this seperation lah?
It'll still take alot of effort .... but I think when we have something good on hand, we ought to try harder to make it work.
I thing I feel that when a guy wants to break up with a gal , the gal still have chance to patch back.
But once the gal make up thier mind there is no returns. very scary
Woman might look soft outside but strong inside, guys are strong only in outlook but is soft in heart. -
Isit? no la...Originally posted by F.O.S:usually when happen the gal side always don't talk sense lor
if my bf wana leave...of course she bu de.
but for the better of him..let him go lor.
but if i have my commitments here, i can't possibly leave with him now.
And hor...to put down everything and leave with the one you love is also taking a risk lor.
Imagine she go over there with you liao then one day you dun want her? I'm saying if, not saying that you will do that. -
The worst can happen even when you're here. In that sense, we should always be prepared for the worst.
I dunno about inner-strength.... I don't believe in generalisation by gender.
Actually, why she oppose? Maybe should get to the core of her concerns.Originally posted by F.O.S:actually I feel the same, just that I still have to prepare for the worst to happen.
I thing I feel that when a guy wants to break up with a gal , the gal still have chance to patch back.
But once the gal make up thier mind there is no returns. very scary
Woman might look soft outside but strong inside, guys are strong only in outlook but is soft in heart. -
I don't suggest both go over unless career is table over there lor, no matter what , Singapore is still the home ground.Originally posted by LilO gIrL:Isit? no la...
if my bf wana leave...of course she bu de.
but for the better of him..let him go lor.
but if i have my commitments here, i can't possibly leave with him now.
And hor...to put down everything and leave with the one you love is also taking a risk lor.
Imagine she go over there with you liao then one day you dun want her? I'm saying if, not saying that you will do that.
Even soccer home groung got better chance to win, if the guy fail at least the gal don't get affected.
agree? -
sometimes woman have some wired way to prove a guy love her or not.Originally posted by choco B:The worst can happen even when you're here. In that sense, we should always be prepared for the worst.
I dunno about inner-strength.... I don't believe in generalisation by gender.
Actually, why she oppose? Maybe should get to the core of her concerns.
example : if you stay for me means you love me. (she might just wanna hear it but not actually wanted the guy to do it).
But when the guy says it, she will say "bull sh1t" , liar...... sigh. There is no ending.
Thats one part of it that I still learning to answer the "YES and NO" answer -
a long term r/s is definately hard to maintain... but there are always other ways to keep it going... i agree with choco... opportunity knocks once, once you miss this, u might have to wait for a long time...
careera is impt for a man to provide a good meal on the table, n not many do have the chance to extend to abroad.. do all these while you can while young.. when you have the energy..
cheers
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I guess you are a guy, usually a gal has such thinking is a string and career woman. very rare.Originally posted by Pubosai:a long term r/s is definately hard to maintain... but there are always other ways to keep it going... i agree with choco... opportunity knocks once, once you miss this, u might have to wait for a long time...
careera is impt for a man to provide a good meal on the table, n not many do have the chance to extend to abroad.. do all these while you can while young.. when you have the energy..
cheers -
Hahha . Gotta keep the men guessing so they'll stay interested mah.
Maybe it's the initial shock and emotional response. Give yourself and her some time to think it through... after a few discussions, maybe can reach a conclusion that can please everyone.Originally posted by F.O.S:sometimes woman have some wired way to prove a guy love her or not.
example : if you stay for me means you love me. (she might just wanna hear it but not actually wanted the guy to do it).
But when the guy says it, she will say "bull sh1t" , liar...... sigh. There is no ending.
Thats one part of it that I still learning to answer the "YES and NO" answer -
agree, still tryingOriginally posted by choco B:Hahha . Gotta keep the men guessing so they'll stay interested mah.
Maybe it's the initial shock and emotional response. Give yourself and her some time to think it through... after a few discussions, maybe can reach a conclusion that can please everyone.