i think i'm pregnant...
-
don't do anything that is irreversible that you suspect you will regret later. because your inability to reverse things will cause you guilt for a long time. when unsure, it's safer not to do drastic things but deal with problems as they arrive. keeping the baby won't do much harm. even if you really can't afford after trying, it benefits everybody to give it away to a better family. the guilt involved in giving away is less than aborting. it's also reversibleOriginally posted by carpe diem jur:how?? i dont want abort leh... i had a miscarriage before... although both mi and my bf are planning for marriage next year, and we both love to have our own kids, but we are not ready now for a kid~!!! financially not stable yet and we would like to build our career first before anything....
wah piangz~~!! i'm currently taking my degree liao leh...if really pregnant should give up studies or give up baby?? i cant bear to part with both loh... i had a hard time before coming to this stage in my studies, and both my bf and mi had our plans for our career... i very ambitious one loh....how how how???
sobb... i very confused leh... HELP~~!!
-
Do not abort! You will feel like shit!
-
then u tell GOD to go create a pause button for careless people lor...Originally posted by bismarck:
i know lah. i didnt direct that post aganist u lah... 
-
u mean the movie babe about the sheep pig?Originally posted by 798:maia lee really quite a babe. -
Hello~!! mind ur words.Originally posted by bismarck:casual sex
-
hmmm... after much discussion and thoughts, i am determined to keep the baby no matter what... but i dont think i want to get married... if my relationship with my bf is strong enuf to pull thru these, i'll get married with him next year...i dont wish to get married for the sake of my baby, i believe in getting married coz of true love...
i gotta get the test kit again next week and see how's the result first...
-
Originally posted by carpe diem jur:hmmm... after much discussion and thoughts, i am determined to keep the baby no matter what... but i dont think i want to get married... if my relationship with my bf is strong enuf to pull thru these, i'll get married with him next year...i dont wish to get married for the sake of my baby, i believe in getting married coz of true love...
i gotta get the test kit again next week and see how's the result first...
-
Good luck...Originally posted by carpe diem jur:hmmm... after much discussion and thoughts, i am determined to keep the baby no matter what... but i dont think i want to get married... if my relationship with my bf is strong enuf to pull thru these, i'll get married with him next year...i dont wish to get married for the sake of my baby, i believe in getting married coz of true love...
i gotta get the test kit again next week and see how's the result first... -
sobb soob.... i juz discussed my decision with my bf... but....it turned out differently... he said that we couldnt afford and he doesnt want the child... i understand that it's not that he doesnt want, but becoz we couldnt afford...
everything to him always has to be on the negative side.... i thought we are going to pull thru this together and encourage each other no matter what, but it he said that this not only drifts us apart, it proves to us how different we are... i do not think so~~!!!! and all he said is that he wouldnt be happy if i insist on keeping the child.... he will be miserable......!!! he said that he'll definitely marry mi at once and keep the baby if he is financially stable now.... y cant we work things out together????
even though my first miscarriage had been long ago already, ever now and then, i couldnt get over it, i grieve and cry... having miscarriage, i do not have a choice.... but abortion is different~!!! abortion is a decision made and killing of ur own flesh and blood with ur own hands....!!!!! I DONT WANT TO ABORT....!!!!!
what am i gotta do?? few hours ago i was hapily announcing that i want to keep the child but i never imagine he'd object to it so strongly.... completely no intention to give it a second thought...
he said that he had phobia after this, and he doesnt want to touch mi at all anymore... not that i needed that kind of physical contact, but his words hurts so much that it stabs mi again and again, leaving mi bleeding with thousands of wounds....
he said that even if after we 'settled' this thing, our relationship will only drift apart.... WHY?????? isnt obstacles supposed to pull us together more and learn from mistakes, support, encourage, and bring our differences together?? what is going on now??? i feel so helpless and lost....
guys, tell mi frankly, is ur gf reacts the same decision as mine, would u also feel the same my bf felt?? drifting apart instead of bringing u togehter??
-
heys...its time to get ur parents support,listen to wat they have to say
-
i guess it wouldn't be the right time to say something like "i told you so..." or "serves you right for not listening to your teacher during sex ed..." or something like that.
hey.. i just witness some motorcyclist die on the road tonight.. crashed at bishan. he died. don't let anymore innocent life be lost. -
-
wat..
-
Originally posted by dumbdumb!:wat..
-
nvm dawg..
-
i'd like to express my gratitude, to the moderators for clearing up smilebigbig's topics.Originally posted by dumbdumb!:nvm dawg.. -
smilebigbig'sOriginally posted by Inflammable:i'd like to express my gratitude, to the moderators for clearing up smilebigbig's topics. is he in my forum? -
My dear girl...I really feel for you.....I would only say that its your body and its you who will have to deal with the after effects that you will encounter after an abortion...It seems to me that you want to keep the baby and you now know what your boyfriend thinks...you need to take the time to consider for yourself what you really want and what is best for yourself...Originally posted by carpe diem jur:even though my first miscarriage had been long ago already, ever now and then, i couldnt get over it, i grieve and cry... having miscarriage, i do not have a choice.... but abortion is different~!!! abortion is a decision made and killing of ur own flesh and blood with ur own hands....!!!!! I DONT WANT TO ABORT....!!!!!
what am i gotta do?? few hours ago i was hapily announcing that i want to keep the child but i never imagine he'd object to it so strongly.... completely no intention to give it a second thought...
he said that he had phobia after this, and he doesnt want to touch mi at all anymore... not that i needed that kind of physical contact, but his words hurts so much that it stabs mi again and again, leaving mi bleeding with thousands of wounds....
he said that even if after we 'settled' this thing, our relationship will only drift apart.... WHY?????? isnt obstacles supposed to pull us together more and learn from mistakes, support, encourage, and bring our differences together?? what is going on now??? i feel so helpless and lost....
guys, tell mi frankly, is ur gf reacts the same decision as mine, would u also feel the same my bf felt?? drifting apart instead of bringing u togehter??
dont base your decision solely on what your boyfriend wants..from what you write here I think he is being selfish but I dont know the whole story..i hope you find some other people who can support you with whatever decision you take...e.g, your parents or close friends...we are also here for you...hope things work out for you... -
IÂ’m just contributing my 2 cents
In a relationship it takes 2 hands to clap, if 1 party is not ready no matter is career or commitment is better not to make such a great decision.
You are pursuing your study and he is , for better future so that both can provide better life to your family. Are both of you sure you guys gonna make it? If both of you donÂ’t even know what is in front of your why make such a decision?
Will you commit to something you need and not needed at the price of $2000 per month for your whole life before you can earn that much?
Which come first? Career come first or stable life? Do you want to raise a kid without providing good education, good environment?
I think you should make a decision that is can afford, can handle. You and him should be concentrating in studies and not just settling down without a stable job that can provide.
Learn this lesson and practice safe sex, I faced an opposite incident as yours before. I can have and afford but she don’t want and not ready. With your love one please learn to compromise with each other, you might “think” you can make it but he might not think so, if you give birth to the child and he don’t give the love to the baby don’t you think is not fair to the baby? You want your child to question you WHY YOU GIVE BIRTH TO HIM/HER?
You have financial problem over studies, now you want to add on the problems. You are still young, there are much more difficulties in front of you . DonÂ’t make this a permanent mistake that affect your life, studies, career and family.
Now a days is different from Kampong life from the pass that kid grown up by themselves, if you and your bf canÂ’t even support yourself donÂ’t get 3rd parties involve.
Please donÂ’t just think what both of your wants and needs, what about the baby? Do you think he/she can accept what you / bf plan for him/her? You sure want to provide him / her the best you can but can you? With the baby can you do as good as you are without him/her?
Working more jobs mean less time for the baby, your life still not stable yet why create another surprise which you donÂ’t even know you can handle or not?
Grown up and look far, talking to your parents or bfÂ’s parents just solve partial of the problems, the most they can do is FORCE you guys to get married and take care of the kid, if that is what you and your bf wants, both of you wonÂ’t be worrying now.
If you give birth to a child and you canÂ’t give him the best that you can is as good as you are killing him/her.
FOS
Call me again or fix another day for coffee (not today) -
what do u want me to say ?Originally posted by carpe diem jur:Hello~!! mind ur words.
quite obviously u didnt learn from before. u had sex, got preg..twice now u are asking for help. -
yea FOS. you've got a point there. but this mess could have been avoided if they didn't do it. i mean.. prevention is definitely better than cure. why no one ever think of that? now most prolly a newborn is gonna die.. just like in the news
-
there's always the option of giving up the child for adoption. With this option, no life is lost, a childless couple is delighted and the child gets the love that he/she deserves.Originally posted by F.O.S:If you give birth to a child and you canÂ’t give him the best that you can is as good as you are killing him/her. -
ooh yea. adoption.
option 3 would be delivering the child, then toss the baby down some building, get caught and sent to jail for infantcide -
Hmm.. The decisions lies mainly in urself..Originally posted by carpe diem jur:how?? i dont want abort leh... i had a miscarriage before... although both mi and my bf are planning for marriage next year, and we both love to have our own kids, but we are not ready now for a kid~!!! financially not stable yet and we would like to build our career first before anything....
wah piangz~~!! i'm currently taking my degree liao leh...if really pregnant should give up studies or give up baby?? i cant bear to part with both loh... i had a hard time before coming to this stage in my studies, and both my bf and mi had our plans for our career... i very ambitious one loh....how how how???
sobb... i very confused leh... HELP~~!!
Don force urself to keep the baby if u really don want it.. The child is innocent.. If u really choose to keep it.. Love it wit all ur heart.. Give it the best u can.. Money cannot buy happiness..
Don treat the child as ur burden if u choose to born it!
I currently in poly.. Seen some people who r pregnant also.. But they still cont their studies.. So is up to u bah.. But is indeed not easy to juggle btw ur studies and pregnancy..
It isn fair to ask ur bf to quit his studies to find a job.. And wit a degree.. His career prospect is much greater..
Think u got to both discuss it.. And mayb rope in parents too.. See how they can help out in lookin after the child.. And mayb ur bf findin a part time job, etc..
tAk care..
-
i'm very grateful for advices from all u guys, especially Care Bear, F.O.S and ahkico.... thankz alot.... i understand and have considered wat u've said....
F.O.S, u are right, if i cant provide a good life to my child, it is as good as harming him/her....
for all i've gone thru, all i ever stood firm in was my studies and my ambition... what can i say?? even though the pain and wounds i have to suffer, i still have to give up when things doesnt goes as smoothly as i was hoping for... i always look on bright side, never want to think too much on the worse...maybe i am too stubborn and always wanted and expect things to work out best for everyone.... but the fact is that all things have their pros and cons... most importantly, it is a life we are talking about here....
i've cried and grieved for the whole night... i need more time and i'll do what i have to do, minimizing hurts and lives involved... including my bf's live and my own life...
once again, thanks alot, guys~!!