What do you do...
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when you know your friend has been taking advantage of you, always inconveniencing you only for his / her own selfish reasons and you've just had about the last straw....?
Would you thrash it out with him/her and hope the friendship will get better?? Or just forget about being the obliging nice person that will accommodate his/her requests?? -
trash out... stand firm... not all da time can be 100% nice... unless u wanna be sucker to yr fren...Originally posted by KittynMeow:when you know your friend has been taking advantage of you, always inconveniencing you only for his / her own selfish reasons and you've just had about the last straw....?
Would you thrash it out with him/her and hope the friendship will get better?? Or just forget about being the obliging nice person that will accommodate his/her requests?? -
won't really thrash it out... but a quiet talk?
if that doesn't work then the thrashing out starts...
at least that's what i do.. -
Yeah... be da Alpha male bear!Originally posted by the Bear:won't really thrash it out... but a quiet talk?
if that doesn't work then the thrashing out starts...
at least that's what i do..
Oops... wrong sentence...
Yeah... be da Big Brother bear!
Hmm... I seem to not get it right... pai seh Bear...
wait ah......
Yeah! Be firm yet not aggressive.
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heh... tried that... din work... cos either skull thick or clueless... somehow what i said didn't get through... haiz......Originally posted by Bontakun:trash out... stand firm... not all da time can be 100% nice... unless u wanna be sucker to yr fren...
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Originally posted by Bontakun:Yeah... be da Alpha male bear!
Oops... wrong sentence...
Yeah... be da Big Brother bear!
Hmm... I seem to not get it right... pai seh Bear...
wait ah......
Yeah! Be firm yet not aggressive. 
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Yr standing firm do not end by juz 1 event... do it all da wae... & driil it into da person's head yr determination...Originally posted by KittynMeow:heh... tried that... din work... cos either skull thick or clueless... somehow what i said didn't get through... haiz...... -
you think it's one event?? I've been standing firm for 14 years pal!!!Originally posted by Bontakun:Yr standing firm do not end by juz 1 event... do it all da wae... & driil it into da person's head yr determination...
one or two days that fren wun do it.... then it starts all over again the next week / month... sigh..... how?? any advice?? -
ignore him/her if he does it again loh.Originally posted by KittynMeow:you think it's one event?? I've been standing firm for 14 years pal!!!
one or two days that fren wun do it.... then it starts all over again the next week / month... sigh..... how?? any advice?? -
U've been standin firm for 14 yrs? I dun get it. its either u dun wanna let dis frenship go or U bcame soft again...Originally posted by KittynMeow:you think it's one event?? I've been standing firm for 14 years pal!!!
one or two days that fren wun do it.... then it starts all over again the next week / month... sigh..... how?? any advice??
Actually I dun tink theres anything wrong. Juz note dat when yr fren ask u for a favour. Analyse dis, "is dis favour a worthy 1? will it help yr fren? will it benefit u?" but da key thing dat tops it is "wat happen if u do yr fren da favour? wat will happen?"
Tink abt it. since U cant loose grip of yr fren taking advantage. might as well stay wif it. WITH a limit. Never help yr fren all da time & at times muz oso tink will it harm yr fren if u help. -
14 years is too damned long for suffering anything...
straight to the point?
i've endure this crap for 14 years.. time to stop.. if not, i'll have to do something i think we'll both regret.. but you more than me..Originally posted by KittynMeow:you think it's one event?? I've been standing firm for 14 years pal!!!
one or two days that fren wun do it.... then it starts all over again the next week / month... sigh..... how?? any advice?? -
turn soft.. not really... things that are really off my limits i wun do... tat's when i stand really firm. Some other favors that are so-called "along the way", i oblige.... guess its those obliging times that caused the fren to continuously try her luck....and as for being friends... guess its been a long friendship.. too long to just give up on a friend I guess.......Originally posted by Bontakun:U've been standin firm for 14 yrs? I dun get it. its either u dun wanna let dis frenship go or U bcame soft again...
Actually I dun tink theres anything wrong. Juz note dat when yr fren ask u for a favour. Analyse dis, "is dis favour a worthy 1? will it help yr fren? will it benefit u?" but da key thing dat tops it is "wat happen if u do yr fren da favour? wat will happen?"
Tink abt it. since U cant loose grip of yr fren taking advantage. might as well stay wif it. WITH a limit. Never help yr fren all da time & at times muz oso tink will it harm yr fren if u help. -
time to dump that friend of urs perhaps?!
cheers! -
just wondering.. you mean your friend's always asking for favour or changing appointments to his/her favour?
if it's within my means, i'd do it..
if i feel it's inconvenient.. just say no? -
tell him or her straight lorx tt i dun like to b treated tis way...tis isnt wat friendship is all about...but most times i juz heck care lorxxOriginally posted by KittynMeow:when you know your friend has been taking advantage of you, always inconveniencing you only for his / her own selfish reasons and you've just had about the last straw....?
Would you thrash it out with him/her and hope the friendship will get better?? Or just forget about being the obliging nice person that will accommodate his/her requests?? -
the favours... hmm how should i explain it.Originally posted by sillyme:just wondering.. you mean your friend's always asking for favour or changing appointments to his/her favour?
if it's within my means, i'd do it..
if i feel it's inconvenient.. just say no?
Eg. 1) Person A ordered new year cookies that my mom makes for sale. It's only an order for one tin which A can easily pick up from me or me mom. A expects my mom, who is suffering from knee problems cos of arthritis to deliver it to A's doorstep, when me mom's other customers who ordered in bulk will pick up the cookies themselves. This one nearly drove me up the wall.
e.g 2) Cell group meeting is in Ghim Moh, which is 5 minutes drive from my workplace. Person A expects me to drive down to River Valley which is in opposite direction of where the cell group meeting is to pick A up. Person A even said it's "on the way" (my foot) and makes me wait for 30 mins or more when i arrive to pick A up. Once or twice i can forget abt it... but think too many times just gets to me....
some examples like that lah.... -
juz explain y u cant help her wit the favour lah....go straight to the point b firm so next time she wun eat u againOriginally posted by KittynMeow:her favours... hmm how should i explain it.
Eg. 1) she ordered new year -
14 years?? OMG, if it's me..think 6 mths I buay tahan already. I'll just ignore the person's call when he/she call lor...then act blur when he/she ask why I never pick up the phone. Why bother abt your friend when he/she dont treat you like one. Time to break off lor.Originally posted by KittynMeow:you think it's one event?? I've been standing firm for 14 years pal!!!
one or two days that fren wun do it.... then it starts all over again the next week / month... sigh..... how?? any advice??
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orh like that ah.. it's easy to be old friends to take advantage of each other.. and sometimes, it's easy to feel oblige to help them too..
if cannot, means cannot lor.. no need to go all the way out.. -
Y not try to take advantage of yr fren instead...? Can try... no harm... then if u SUCCESSFULLY did so, yr fren will notice & ask y. Then U can ans, " I learnt from u~~~~~~"Originally posted by KittynMeow:turn soft.. not really... things that are really off my limits i wun do... tat's when i stand really firm. Some other favors that are so-called "along the way", i oblige.... guess its those obliging times that caused the fren to continuously try her luck....and as for being friends... guess its been a long friendship.. too long to just give up on a friend I guess.......
As for da egs U gave. Da cookies can tell straight. ask A to get it or wait long long for it to reach da door steps. Meeting place (2nd eg) mah... U can try dis: 1st move, wait for A. if sae 5 min still not down... sae U got smth to do & meet up ayt da designated place. 2nd move. Dun drive to where yr fren is & meet up at da designated place, explaining dis to yr fren, "I wanted to pick u up, but my car juz goin outta petrol & when I pump har, forgot to pick u up & went straight..."
Make good excuses & oso at da same time make yr fren realise not all da time U there for her...
Any other examples? -
thrash it out...Originally posted by KittynMeow:when you know your friend has been taking advantage of you, always inconveniencing you only for his / her own selfish reasons and you've just had about the last straw....?
Would you thrash it out with him/her and hope the friendship will get better?? Or just forget about being the obliging nice person that will accommodate his/her requests??
if tat friend is like tat, not call friend liao... -
friend for 14 yrs so? i got friend i had since pri one, ditch me when i needed her most. i was at my downest time, and she a few others decide tat they cannot accept my stupidity for what i have done. but instead of sticking by me, and screwing me for my mistake, they abandon me. i was left all alone. n all tis time, i'm always the idiot who is there for them whenever they need me, and i really mean whenever...
some things dun go both ways...u might have been doing a lot for this friend, but she/he might not be willing to do it back for u.
if u tink tis friend is doing nothing but making use of u, then its time to tell her/him. -
this is too much...*shakes head*Originally posted by KittynMeow:the favours... hmm how should i explain it.
Eg. 1) Person A ordered new year cookies that my mom makes for sale. It's only an order for one tin which A can easily pick up from me or me mom. A expects my mom, who is suffering from knee problems cos of arthritis to deliver it to A's doorstep, when me mom's other customers who ordered in bulk will pick up the cookies themselves. This one nearly drove me up the wall.
e.g 2) Cell group meeting is in Ghim Moh, which is 5 minutes drive from my workplace. Person A expects me to drive down to River Valley which is in opposite direction of where the cell group meeting is to pick A up. Person A even said it's "on the way" (my foot) and makes me wait for 30 mins or more when i arrive to pick A up. Once or twice i can forget abt it... but think too many times just gets to me....
some examples like that lah....