~ When A Man Falls In Love...~
-
I've just read an article fm a woman mag, and these are the questions. I'm a little bit curious whether i'll get the same answer like the one in that mag or...
So here are the Q's :
1. When do / did you realise that you are in love with her ?
2. What's the signal that convinced you that you are really in love with her ? e.g. your heart beat faster when she's ard.
3. What are the things you will do / have done for her when you are in love ?
4. What's the greatest / the best thing you've ever done for her ?
5. Where's your fave date spot ?
6. When you meet your parents / relatives, you'll introduce her as your....
7. What makes you fall in love with her ? (besides the cupid arrow of course)
8. Put in order, fm the most important ones : her personality, her beauty (physical attraction), her intellegence, her ability to solve / to deal with problems, her material.
9. When will you / did you propose her ?
10. What makes you decide that you gotta step back from her ? e.g. you think she will never love you, so why bother to win her heart ?!!
Only 10 Q's, guys... can you please answer these ?
Oh..this one comes from me, can you tell the difference between love and like ? -
hmmm...to many Q's yah ? Or issit a hard ones to answer ?
Ok..if you don't wanna answer all the Q's, can you please just answer my last Q ? the difference between love and like...
pls... -
one use the heart, the other use the head
Understand
-
err..can't u be a little more specific ?Originally posted by sgboy2004:one use the heart, the other use the head
Understand
with examples ? -
1. When do / did you realise that you are in love with her ?
I asked her out.
2. What's the signal that convinced you that you are really in love with her ? e.g. your heart beat faster when she's ard.
there was no signal.. it took a pile of soul-searching
3. What are the things you will do / have done for her when you are in love ?
i would willingly give her my right arm... and what i have done? will remain secret
for my future intended, i would do the same to.. my love, my life...
4. What's the greatest / the best thing you've ever done for her ?
i don't think i have done anything great for her then.. for whoever i fall for in the future, it is yet to be done
5. Where's your fave date spot ?
nowhere in particular.. wherever she would like.. because for me, being with someone i love is paradise in itself
6. When you meet your parents / relatives, you'll introduce her as your....
my intended
7. What makes you fall in love with her ? (besides Cupid's arrow of course)
that cannot be defined.. frankly, i won't even know.. it just is..
8. Put in order, fm the most important ones : her personality, her beauty (physical attraction), her intellegence, her ability to solve / to deal with problems, her material.
EVERYTHING about her
9. When will you / did you propose her ?
i did once.. when i felt we could live together as man and wife.. after a lot of soul-searching... but alas..
10. What made you decide that you gotta step back from her ? e.g. you think she will never love you, so why bother to win her heart ?!!
when we parted ways, even when i did not want to.. she wanted to call it quits.. how can we have a relationship when one side does not want to go on? so, walk away... deal with the hurt, be battleship steel.. for that is the lot of the gentleman... -
Love is like the answer to a riddle. Other answers may seem good or clever, but only this one answer is perfect.
Love is like the right job. The job inspires you and feels like play. You crave the work, you are passionate about it. It lifts you up and drives you to new levels.
Love is the color which connects with the deepest level of your being. It is the music which speaks to you.
When you love someone, you are totally yourself with them. Nothing can drive a wedge between you. Whatever life throws at you, you deal with together.
When you reach the boundary between like and love, you know you are entering another country. You are beyond newness and infatuation. You know what Shakespeare meant when he called love "an ever-fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken
-Taken from Exceritey's website--- -
and...
LOVE!! Damn the consequences!! -
Originally posted by the Bear:1. When do / did you realise that you are in love with her ?
I asked her out.
Err...When u asked her out ..that's love already ?
8. Put in order, fm the most important ones : her personality, her beauty (physical attraction), her intellegence, her ability to solve / to deal with problems, her material.
EVERYTHING about her
Err..can't u put it in order as requested ? I didn't mean anything, just wanna know..
10. What made you decide that you gotta step back from her ? e.g. you think she will never love you, so why bother to win her heart ?!!
when we parted ways, even when i did not want to.. she wanted to call it quits.. how can we have a relationship when one side does not want to go on? so, walk away... deal with the hurt, be battleship steel.. for that is the lot of the gentleman...
Err...sorry again about this matter...
-
1. When do / did you realise that you are in love with her ?
I asked her out.
Err...When u asked her out ..that's love already ?
well, in the past, we met only when a group of people got together.. somehow, we sort of drifted away from the group... talked on the phone, stuff like that... maybe i got the answer wrongly.. it started with how much i enjoyed her company, when each time, she called or buzzed me, i lit up, became happier.. set everything aside and gave her my full attention.. after a while, it seemed kinda like something was missing without contact with her.. then i went into my introspection mode... soul-searching, being frank and honest with myself.. what was i feeling about her? then it hit me.. i was in love with her.. then i asked her out for a date... and started wooing her from then
8. Put in order, fm the most important ones : her personality, her beauty (physical attraction), her intellegence, her ability to solve / to deal with problems, her material.
EVERYTHING about her
Err..can't u put it in order as requested ? I didn't mean anything, just wanna know..
i'll try.. but after a while, it all becomes one... everything..
her personality
her intelligence (which blended into problem-solving)
and her beauty (apart from just physical beauty... because as time went by, she became more beautiful each time i looked at her..)
her material possessions? never came into my mind..
10. What made you decide that you gotta step back from her ? e.g. you think she will never love you, so why bother to win her heart ?!!
when we parted ways, even when i did not want to.. she wanted to call it quits.. how can we have a relationship when one side does not want to go on? so, walk away... deal with the hurt, be battleship steel.. for that is the lot of the gentleman...
Err...sorry again about this matter...
one day, she decided some problems we had could not be solved.. and she did not want to go on with the relationship.. so she wanted to go... i could not talk her out of it, to give it a try to solve the problems... but she persisted... so, i could not tell or force her to stay... i let go... i had to.. at the same time, it was hardest and simplest decision in my life... so we parted ways... -
Originally posted by the Bear:1. When do / did you realise that you are in love with her ?
I asked her out.
Err...When u asked her out ..that's love already ?
well, in the past, we met only when a group of people got together.. somehow, we sort of drifted away from the group... talked on the phone, stuff like that... maybe i got the answer wrongly.. it started with how much i enjoyed her company, when each time, she called or buzzed me, i lit up, became happier.. set everything aside and gave her my full attention.. after a while, it seemed kinda like something was missing without contact with her.. then i went into my introspection mode... soul-searching, being frank and honest with myself.. what was i feeling about her? then it hit me.. i was in love with her.. then i asked her out for a date... and started wooing her from then
8. Put in order, fm the most important ones : her personality, her beauty (physical attraction), her intellegence, her ability to solve / to deal with problems, her material.
EVERYTHING about her
Err..can't u put it in order as requested ? I didn't mean anything, just wanna know..
i'll try.. but after a while, it all becomes one... everything..
her personality
her intelligence (which blended into problem-solving)
and her beauty (apart from just physical beauty... because as time went by, she became more beautiful each time i looked at her..)
her material possessions? never came into my mind..
10. What made you decide that you gotta step back from her ? e.g. you think she will never love you, so why bother to win her heart ?!!
when we parted ways, even when i did not want to.. she wanted to call it quits.. how can we have a relationship when one side does not want to go on? so, walk away... deal with the hurt, be battleship steel.. for that is the lot of the gentleman...
Err...sorry again about this matter...
one day, she decided some problems we had could not be solved.. and she did not want to go on with the relationship.. so she wanted to go... i could not talk her out of it, to give it a try to solve the problems... but she persisted... so, i could not tell or force her to stay... i let go... i had to.. at the same time, it was hardest and simplest decision in my life... so we parted ways...
thank you for answering.
though now i kinda regreted it why did i ask in the first place and then you answered them all..haha..
now i know that you still have her stick to ur heart and soul...and suddenly i dun feel happy..hehe...
well..nvm. -
i have moved on... something she never understood nor was able to accept that i did..
something people never understand...
love is infinite.. because someone i loved and still love is not with me, does not mean that i would not love another..
but she is in my past.. and i will never see her again, and if given a chance, probably would not want to see her again.. why stir up the past?
and frankly, if she came back (which is doubtful), and wanted a reconciliation, i do not think i would anymore.. it is not for the lack of love, but somehow, it is not to be... for even if she has a place in my heart, it does not and will never be able to occupy the whole thing... not even a large part of it
that would be reserved for whomever i meet and grow to love and eventually become my partner for our lives' journey togetherOriginally posted by Maya061:
thank you for answering.
though now i kinda regreted it why did i ask in the first place and then you answered them all..haha..
now i know that you still have her stick to ur heart and soul...and suddenly i dun feel happy..hehe...
well..nvm. -
[quote]Originally posted by Maya061:
[b]I've just read an article fm a woman mag, and these are the questions. I'm a little bit curious whether i'll get the same answer like the one in that mag or... So here are the Q's :
1. When do / did you realise that you are in love with her ?
When i have a special feeling that is different from others that i have met.
2. What's the signal that convinced you that you are really in love with her ? e.g. your heart beat faster when she's ard.
I don't have to put on a front and i can always be my true self.
3. What are the things you will do / have done for her when you are in love ?
I will do what i can with the best of my abilities.
4. What's the greatest / the best thing you've ever done for her ?
Hmm... when the time comes, i will let you know again.
5. Where's your fave date spot ?
At a cafe... chatting, drinking (NOT LIQOUR) and listening to nice music.
6. When you meet your parents / relatives, you'll introduce her as your....
If we are in a relationship, then i would introduce her as my girlfriend, stead or future wife.
7. What makes you fall in love with her ? (besides the cupid arrow of course)
Her personality!
8. Put in order, fm the most important ones : her personality, her beauty (physical attraction), her intellegence, her ability to solve / to deal with problems, her material.
her personality, her ability to solve / to deal with problems, her intellegence, her beauty (physical attraction), and her material.
9. When will you / did you propose her ?
There are always a right time and place for that.
10. What makes you decide that you gotta step back from her ?
e.g. you think she will never love you, so why bother to win her heart ?!!
When there are too many guys chasing after her... and even more if its my best buddies...
Only 10 Q's, guys... can you please answer these ?
Oh..this one comes from me, can you tell the difference between love and like ?
To me, like someone is very different from loving someone. When you are hurt by someone you liked, you can get over it much easier than being hurt by someone you loved. -
bear u sounds like my hubby... when he dates me, he's thinking of marriage liao.. cos he say he only dates the gal he wanna marry one.... freaked me out big time then.....................
-
Originally posted by Maya061:1. When do / did you realise that you are in love with her ?
when I keep thinking of her when she's not around me.
2. What's the signal that convinced you that you are really in love with her ? e.g. your heart beat faster when she's ard.
will feel happy and start doing silly things when she's ard.
3. What are the things you will do / have done for her when you are in love ?
will do anything as long she's happy.
4. What's the greatest / the best thing you've ever done for her ?
donno leh. What I think is great may not be that great for her. sometime it's all those little things that make her feel great.
5. Where's your fave date spot ?
no such place.
6. When you meet your parents / relatives, you'll introduce her as your....
Normally when I bring her home she shld be my gf already..so intro as gf lor.
7. What makes you fall in love with her ? (besides the cupid arrow of course)
something she does or look attract me.
8. Put in order, fm the most important ones : her personality, her beauty (physical attraction), her intellegence, her ability to solve / to deal with problems, her material.
what material? personality, beauty, ability to solve, intelligence, material.
9. When will you / did you propose her ?
she got married but not to me.
10. What makes you decide that you gotta step back from her ? e.g. you think she will never love you, so why bother to win her heart ?!!
when she's attached lor.
Oh..this one comes from me, can you tell the difference between love and like ?
ya, it's all in the feeling. -
Originally posted by the Bear:i have moved on... something she never understood nor was able to accept that i did..
something people never understand...
love is infinite.. because someone i loved and still love is not with me, does not mean that i would not love another..
but she is in my past.. and i will never see her again, and if given a chance, probably would not want to see her again.. why stir up the past?
and frankly, if she came back (which is doubtful), and wanted a reconciliation, i do not think i would anymore.. it is not for the lack of love, but somehow, it is not to be... for even if she has a place in my heart, it does not and will never be able to occupy the whole thing... not even a large part of it
that would be reserved for whomever i meet and grow to love and eventually become my partner for our lives' journey together
nice answer. -
Originally posted by Marmalade Boy:
10. What makes you decide that you gotta step back from her ?
e.g. you think she will never love you, so why bother to win her heart ?!!
When there are too many guys chasing after her... and even more if its my best buddies...
why is that so ? i think if u really love her..no matter what, u should go after her.
btw..thank you for ur answers, Marmalade Boy. -
Originally posted by Bochupi:10. What makes you decide that you gotta step back from her ? e.g. you think she will never love you, so why bother to win her heart ?!!
when she's attached lor.
i like the answer. good answer, Bochupi ! -
bear.. think u are one of the most devoted guys on earth. whoever becomes your wife (or even galfren) will be one blessed lady. may you find her soonOriginally posted by the Bear:i have moved on... something she never understood nor was able to accept that i did..
something people never understand...
love is infinite.. because someone i loved and still love is not with me, does not mean that i would not love another..
but she is in my past.. and i will never see her again, and if given a chance, probably would not want to see her again.. why stir up the past?
and frankly, if she came back (which is doubtful), and wanted a reconciliation, i do not think i would anymore.. it is not for the lack of love, but somehow, it is not to be... for even if she has a place in my heart, it does not and will never be able to occupy the whole thing... not even a large part of it
that would be reserved for whomever i meet and grow to love and eventually become my partner for our lives' journey together -
1. She and I were chatting on MSN Messenger (while we were at work), as we had for months, and it occurred to me.
2. No signal, really - the thought occurred to me and it just made perfect sense.
3. Nothing in particular, but I do keep an eye out for anything that needs to be done. For example, when she was sick for a week, I would get her to get some rest and wake her up once I had dinner ready. I'm not a big believer in sweep-her-off-her-feet expressions of love, but I do make it a point to include my love for her in everything I do.
4. That's one that's really for her, rather than me, to answer.
5. No specific place - we tend to go out and explore new places. However, we met at salsa classes, so a place that has salsa is always good.
6. Girlfriend. I've never been one to beat about the bush and my relatives already know that I'm not accustomed to having my judgement questioned.
7. We started out as strictly friends and when she was talking about a past relationship, I realised that she the sort to give absolutely 100 percent. By that time, I was tired of futzing around and, watching my parents' example, had already decided that being 100 percent was going to be the clincher.
8.
1) Her integrity
2) Her giving spirit
3) Her gentleness and willingness to give
4) Her intelligence, in particular her willingness to se things from different perspectives
5) Her sensibility
6) Her beauty, especially when she's asleep
9. When I'm good and ready. Right now things are a bit topsy-turvy because I've decided to stay in Singapore to sort out some family matters. After that I'll return to Australia and get properly set up. In the meantime, there is no question that I will - like I said, I'm done futzing around.
10. Step back from her? I never even considered considering that.
The difference between love and like? Like is a lot more superficial, and as such you don't think as much of the deeper implications. In my case, I've spent a lot of time going after the superficial crap - my last girlfriend was a model and a doctorate student, and she came from an influential family. At the end of the day, none of it mattered because she could not give the 100 percent I required and I could not see her being a lifelong partner. I walked away and I have never regretted it because I have moved on to better things, although we do remain good friends.
What is love, then? It's hard to define, but the best I can do is allude to its corollaries. This is the speech I delivered at my best friend's wedding two months ago, with names edited out:
"Please excuse this speech. I wrote in on the plane on the way back from Singapore.
My first thought when G told me that would marry V was, "It's about time". Yet I refrained from actually voicing this thought because it did not feel entirely correct.
A while ago I mentioned that I had just returned from Singapore. Those here who know me know that the purpose of my trip was to attend my mother's funeral. During this trip, I reflected that come December, my parents would have been married for 37 years.
Given that the longest commitment of my life, my university years, spanned barely a quarter of that period, the magnitude of my parents' commitment to each other was mind boggling. What would make such an undertaking successsful through all of life's challenges, of which raising me was aruguably the most daunting?
It would be simple enough to say "Love, of course", but the cynic in me has always rebelled against such a vague answer. I attempted to define the qualities required for such a commitment, and here is are some of the key ingredients I think make up this vague concept of love.
First, it's about integrity, the tempering of ideals with reality to ensure that the core values of the marriage are not only maintained, but indeed nourished, through life's challenges.
It's about faith, the strength of belief that spouses have in each other, which forms the backbone of the marriage.
It's about insight, the ability to see well beyond the events that occur daily, and to perceive how these events form the quilt of experience which is marriage.
It's about courage, facing the vast expanse of the unknown future with conviction.
It's about respect, not only that of spouses for each other, but of the institution of marriage, of family and of God, by whose blessing this marriage has taken place.
It's about a sense of humour - if you can laugh, no challenge is insurmountable, and it makes the adventure a lot more fun.
I see these elements not only in the example of my own parents, but in other couples as well, in particular G's parents, Uncle R and Auntie T. In both cases, these qualities have held them in good stead for well over thirty years. At the same time, I see it in younger couples, such as my sister and brother-in-law, and these same qualities have already seen them through a multitude of events and challenges over nine years.
I stopped myself from saying "It's about time" to G because I felt that it was an inaccurate statement to make. It's about integrity, faith, insight, courage, respect and a sense of humour. These have seen married couples through decades, and these are qualities that will see G and V, the latest addition to that list, through the coming decades.
It's not about time at all - it is timeless."
Hopefully that answers your question. -
the other day, my bf asked me what do I like abt him...
I said "dunno.... do I need to have a reason to like??" -
hmmm... love has reasons reason can never understandOriginally posted by KittynMeow:the other day, my bf asked me what do I like abt him...
I said "dunno.... do I need to have a reason to like??" -
This is such an amazing, beautiful passage. Thanks for sharingOriginally posted by Gedanken:I stopped myself from saying "It's about time" to G because I felt that it was an inaccurate statement to make. It's about integrity, faith, insight, courage, respect and a sense of humour. These have seen married couples through decades, and these are qualities that will see G and V, the latest addition to that list, through the coming decades.
It's not about time at all - it is timeless."
Hopefully that answers your question. -
Thanks - when I finished the speech, I swear you could hear a pin drop. For a while I thought I'd said something wrong!
-
i'm speechless...Originally posted by Gedanken:The difference between love and like? Like is a lot more superficial, and as such you don't think as much of the deeper implications. In my case, I've spent a lot of time going after the superficial crap - my last girlfriend was a model and a doctorate student, and she came from an influential family. At the end of the day, none of it mattered because she could not give the 100 percent I required and I could not see her being a lifelong partner. I walked away and I have never regretted it because I have moved on to better things, although we do remain good friends.
What is love, then? It's hard to define, but the best I can do is allude to its corollaries. This is the speech I delivered at my best friend's wedding two months ago, with names edited out:
"Please excuse this speech. I wrote in on the plane on the way back from Singapore.
My first thought when G told me that would marry V was, "It's about time". Yet I refrained from actually voicing this thought because it did not feel entirely correct.
A while ago I mentioned that I had just returned from Singapore. Those here who know me know that the purpose of my trip was to attend my mother's funeral. During this trip, I reflected that come December, my parents would have been married for 37 years.
Given that the longest commitment of my life, my university years, spanned barely a quarter of that period, the magnitude of my parents' commitment to each other was mind boggling. What would make such an undertaking successsful through all of life's challenges, of which raising me was aruguably the most daunting?
It would be simple enough to say "Love, of course", but the cynic in me has always rebelled against such a vague answer. I attempted to define the qualities required for such a commitment, and here is are some of the key ingredients I think make up this vague concept of love.
First, it's about integrity, the tempering of ideals with reality to ensure that the core values of the marriage are not only maintained, but indeed nourished, through life's challenges.
It's about faith, the strength of belief that spouses have in each other, which forms the backbone of the marriage.
It's about insight, the ability to see well beyond the events that occur daily, and to perceive how these events form the quilt of experience which is marriage.
It's about courage, facing the vast expanse of the unknown future with conviction.
It's about respect, not only that of spouses for each other, but of the institution of marriage, of family and of God, by whose blessing this marriage has taken place.
It's about a sense of humour - if you can laugh, no challenge is insurmountable, and it makes the adventure a lot more fun.
I see these elements not only in the example of my own parents, but in other couples as well, in particular G's parents, Uncle R and Auntie T. In both cases, these qualities have held them in good stead for well over thirty years. At the same time, I see it in younger couples, such as my sister and brother-in-law, and these same qualities have already seen them through a multitude of events and challenges over nine years.
I stopped myself from saying "It's about time" to G because I felt that it was an inaccurate statement to make. It's about integrity, faith, insight, courage, respect and a sense of humour. These have seen married couples through decades, and these are qualities that will see G and V, the latest addition to that list, through the coming decades.
It's not about time at all - it is timeless."
Hopefully that answers your question.
gosh..thank you so much for sharing. -
Thanks, Maya - not bad for 20 minutes' work in an airplane's economy seat, huh?
Seriously, I'm not a particularly emotional sort of person - hell, I didn't even cry at my mother's funeral, but my parting words as they covered up the coffin were "Bye Mom, it's been grand". However, I have to admit that it feels good to have someone you truly love.
Right now she's stuck in Melbourne while we're trying to find a way for her to join me here for the rest of the year. In the meantime, I've got even more time to reflect on how I feel about her.
The lesson was rammed home to me this very night. I went to a function that my friend invited me to, and when I got there, I ran into a girl who I had a huge crush on while I was in JC. I was so busy thinking about my girlfriend that the only things I said to this girl were, "Hi, how are you? Have you seen so-and-so (my friend)? Ah, thanks" and, as I was leaving, "Hey, good to see you again - bye!". I didn't even realise what had taken place until I was halfway home.
Upon reflection, it's a matter of course that this should have happened, but even while my girlfriend's not with me, it's wonderful to discover, on a daily basis and through the smallest of things, how much I love her.