"The Dream"
-
This is story is inspired by true life incidents and a real dream.
Part 1
There is this woman, a very lonely and sad woman, but she was so very beautiful. No one ever knew why this woman was always so sad.... People in town knew that the woman had been hurt, for she was a very private woman, not very sociable, and you could tell she had many wounds.
She went through life always wondering what really happened to her father, he died in prison a long time ago, and never knew the truth of his death. He incarcerated most of her life and his life for a crime he didn't commit. He suffered many, many years there. And he died there, a young age of 46. She was lied to about his death, the prison said it was a heart attack and died at the hospital, the ambulance staff and hospital said he was dead on arrival, the autopsy doctor said it was a hanging and then changed the story...
When she called the hospital to inquire about her father they transferred her to the police department, they would not tell her anything, they wouldn't even let a family member identify the body because they said that he was awarded to the state. So no one ever found out the truth of her fathers death and this ate at her for many years.
Then one night she had a dream.....
She is in front of this window in a old attic in a beautiful two story house, a house she had never been to before. She looks out a window in this attic to see the ocean and waves forming into hands calling to her as she hears a sweet melody, a jewelry box melody, like the sound of the same jewelry box melody that her father gave to her when she was very little and still to this day has this jewelry box. Not knowing where the music is coming from, she looks behind her only to see a woman's black dress (old fashioned) and a mans suit dancing together, with no one in it, they were dancing in air, floating, she is bewildered, but not afraid, she looks out back towards the window, the waves still calling her name.
The music then stops, and she turns around again to see a old man in the suit but the black dress still empty, still dancing. She walks up to the old man, he had gray hair and his built was stocky, not that tall.
She asks him, 'where is my grandmother', he says ' in heaven', she then asks, 'where is my grandfather', he says ' in heaven', and then she asks him, 'where is my father?' and he says ' in hell!' She gets scared but she does not believe him and asks him to take her to him, she didn't care where her father was, she just wanted to see him.
So she follows this old man down a flight a steps, they end up in this most beautiful kitchen, everything in it was pure white, she's never seen such white in her life, it was so bright.... He steps over to a counter that looks like a bar, he is standing on one side and she is standing on the other side of it, she then says to the old man again, 'please take me to my father, I don't care where he is, please take me to him.' So this old man looks at her in her eyes, he had the most ebony eyes she had ever seen, there was no pupil, just pure black eyes.
As she was looking into his eyes she went into this trance, like she was going into this mans eyes, she then calasped, and then all she could see was pure red, like swaying red, almost like a slow moving river, it was a red she had never seen, nothing in her lifetime....She felt as if she was going down, deeper and deeper, then all of a sudden she heard someone calling her name from a distance...
"Sherri, Sherri... you don't have to go there Sherri, come back Sherri... You can see your father, but you don't have to go there to see him, it's a lie Sherri, come back...."
She awoke or came out of the trance and when she did, the old man was gone and there in front of her was this beautiful woman with long straight black hair smiling at her and she whispered,
"You don't have to go there Sherri to see your father"...
The lady then looked down another flight of stairs and at the end of the stairway was a door with a small window and in the window she saw her father.... She started running down the stairs as fast as she could, but seeming like it was taking forever to get to the door, she just kept running and running, and finally she came to the door and her father ran away, ran off.... She started chasing him...
(Outside of the house there was a pier on the right side of the house, with the ocean about, on the left side of the house was a slow moving stream with mountains and beautiful forest)
He ran up to the pier and she was chasing him, and while she was chasing him on the pier she noticed two other small children running with her calling out, 'Daddy please stop, daddy please stop running'....she also noticed below her the ocean floor for there were large cracks on the pier, the ocean was moving rapidly.
Her father finally came to the end of the pier and jumped off into the yard, ran across the yard and then stopped near the river and as she jumped off the pier she noticed that the two other children were gone, but didn't really acknowledge it, she also ran across the yard, and as she began to get closer to her father, the woman with the beautiful black hair appeared in front of her, just smiling, and she then turned to look at her father, as well as she...
They were about 5 feet from each other, she couldn't get any closer, he was wearing blue-jeans and a black t-shirt, sleeves rolled up, white socks and black penny loafer shoes they use to wear in the sixties, he was very handsome and seemed young, probably a time when she last remembered seeing him, which was when she was 12 years old.
She then said to her father, "I Love you daddy and I miss you so very much."
He finally said to her, "I Love you too Sherri, I always have, never a day went by that I didn't love you"...
He then bent down on his knee, one elbow resting on the knee, he looked down with a sad face and then looked up at his daughter, and said "I was murdered Sherri"...
And then she woke up...she got her answer....
_____________________________________________________
to be continued... -
Part 2
She awoke¡K(or did she?) to tell her daughter all about the dream, she explained it all to her and started crying. Finally, she heard her daughter saying, ¡¥Mom, wake up¡¦, Mom, wake up.¡¦
Her eyes opened looking at her daughter, she said, ¡¥so what did you think of that dream?¡¦ Her daughter says, ¡¥Mom, You didn¡¦t tell me about a dream.¡¦ Yes I did, I just told you all about it.¡¦ ¡¥Mom, I just woke you up because you were crying.¡¦
She was in shock, she thought for sure that she had told her daughter all about the dream.
Was this a sign? Was she supposed to remember this dream?
She arises out of bed, puts on her robe, walk¡¦s out to the living area to find her jewelry box next to her father¡¦s picture¡K She becomes a little frightened¡K and moves the jewelry box back to its proper place on top of the bookcase¡K Her father¡¦s picture sat on the end table with nothing but a cross next to the picture (his old rosary, which was worn and only the cross remained)
She looks at the picture for a while, the frame was an old fashioned silver frame and she had Daddy typed out on the glass. His eyes, she looks at his eyes, they are her eyes, sad, puppy dog eyes, but the color copper, unique, almost piercing. They hold many stories.
Is she finally going to find them out?
She looks deep into his eyes and says ¡¥Are you here Daddy, are you trying to tell me something? She then gets this overwhelming sensation a cool breeze passes through her,
She has chills up and down her spine¡K and then all of a sudden, she hears her jewelry box start to play¡K She looks over at it and the ballerina is turning¡K¡K
She is astonished, scared and just don¡¦t know what is happening. While watching the ballerina turn¡Kmany thoughts crossed her mind¡K am I going crazy¡K am I seeing things? ¡K. What is happening to me?
She rushes to the phone. Calls her cousin Tina, whom lives in Massachusetts, her hometown of Fall River.
'Hi Tina, How are you?¡¦
'Pretty good Sherri,¡¦ I hear her hesitate, ¡¥is everything okay Tina?¡¦
'Well Sherri, I had this amazing dream last night. Sherri¡¦s heart starts to tighten.
'I did too Tina, tell me please of your dream.¡¦ Tina tells Sherri of the dream and the amazing thing about Tina¡¦s dream was that it was the same exact dream as Sherri¡¦s.
Sherri started to cry and Tina says¡¦ What is the matter Sherri?¡¦
'Tina I swear on my Father¡¦s grave I had the same exact dream, the only thing differentwas, I was the one chasing him, not you.¡¦ Tina, were there two other small children running with you while you were chasing him?¡¦
'Well Sherri, I really don¡¦t recall.¡¦ ¡¥I only remember, a big two story house, a pier, a lot water, mountains and a stream, oh and there was this beautiful lady with black hair that was with your father. I also remember your father saying that he was murdered and most of all I can¡¦t get that jewelry box melody out of my mind.¡¦ By this time Sherri was speechless, for in the prior conversation Tina had not mentioned the jewelry box melody.
What is this all about she thinks to herself?
_____________________________________________________
to be continued... -
Part 3
‘Tina, I’m coming up there,’ ‘I should be there in about a week, can I stay with you a bit?’
‘Sure Sherri, come on up.’
While Sherri was packing up her things for the long trip to Massachusetts, she reminisces, itÂ’s been 15 years since sheÂ’s been to her hometown.
Sherri did not feel accepted by her family members in Massachusetts so she stayed away for many years. She was the black-sheep of the family, a little wild as a teenager, got herself pregnant at the age of 16, had a son at 17, whom she had to give up to her mother and step-father, for reasons not of her own. That was the turning point of SherriÂ’s life; she was bitter, cold, angry and truly hated.
Love had always been taken from her since she was a child, the first being her father, the second her mother and finally, the breaking point, of her child.
She was always unhappy, and misery loves misery. Her life was all misery. She could find no happiness. And after 2 marriages and a broken heart she was alone, the only one left by her side was her daughter, whom she loved so dearly, and showered her with much love and affection. But her daughter knew of her life and could feel her motherÂ’s pain.
As for her other family members she felt they didnÂ’t like her much, she didnÂ’t know if it was because of her mother, being her motherÂ’s child, her mother had many problems with her family. Or, because she was the first grandchild and she was supposed to set an example, or because of her father, they might have felt because of her father, she would be like him.
SherriÂ’s father was a wild one too. Got into minor trouble with the law as a teenager.Her brothers got into trouble when they were teenagers just like their father, minor trouble, but because of this, they were condemned of being like their father. Sherri never got in trouble with the law but she was a fighter, fought a lot in school with her female classmates. Never started them but because she was a small person and beautiful she had to struggle more. She had many boyfriends, but nothing serious, but to others she was a tramp for she could not settle for one boy. Until she met Ricky, she fell in love, for the first time in her life. This was the boy whom Sherri would give all of herself to, she was 16, puppy love.
Then she became pregnant and Ricky was afraid, he ran, he let her go, and she had to go home to her mother, ashamed. Sherri never blamed Ricky for his insecurity, she new he was young and was not ready to be a father at the age of 18, so she never bothered Ricky again.
It’s been 18 years since then and many of trials and tribulations, arguments with her mother for many years over her son, she wanted him, but they would not let her have him. She was told many times, ‘you are not his mother, I am his mother,’ her mother would tell her, and it felt like a dagger in her heart every time it was said.
Through the years Sherri felt like she had to prove herself to her mother and family members, so she went back to school. With an Associates degree in pre-law, paralegal, business management and then went on the Real Estate School, she still felt unaccepted.
Still she was not happy, and she felt that no one else was happy with her either. Throughout her years the only thing that relaxed her and she was happy with was her writing of poetry, this comforted her, she could write all her feelings on paper. She kept her writings to herself for many years, then she started to share them with the world, and now poetry is her life. She is blessed by many through her writings.
Through the years she would keep in contact with her father, he wrote many letters to her, he went through life in hell in prison, and over and over again, in all his letters he would tell her that he was an innocent man.
Sherri would send him poetry that she wrote, pictures of herself and her children, also pictures of her brothers, this way, her father could watch his children grow up through pictures.
Sherri kept every letter that her father ever wrote. From the time she was 13 years old until his last letter, after his last letter Sherri did not hear from her father again, the next time she heard of anything concerning her father was his death. And that was almost 3 years later after his last letter, she never heard from him again.
SherriÂ’s cousin Tina called her at work on the morning of her fatherÂ’s death. Tina said that he died of a heart amorism; Sherri was devastated, she could just not believe it to be true, he was only 46 years old, so Sherri left work and called the hospital that her cousin Tina told her where they were keeping her father. When Sherri called the hospital, they transferred her to the police department, whom an officer told Sherri that no one was allowed to come to the hospital to identify the body, he was awarded to the state and no family member was needed to identify him, 10 days later they cremated him.
This just didnÂ’t seem right, why would they not let a family member identify the body, Sherri just couldnÂ’t understand that. How was Sherri or the other family members going to know if it was really Ronald Max Barboza that was lying dead? How would we know if it really was a heart amorism that killed her father? IsnÂ’t it kind of weird or ironic that he died on the same date (Feb. 18th) as when he went into prison? Sherri had so many unanswered questions, and with the last letter that her father wrote to her Sherri just could not believe that her father died of natural causes.
_____________________________________________________ -
Here is the last letter that Ronald Max Barboza wrote to his daughter.
August 14, 1991
Hi Sweetheart,
Received your letters, all at one time, but that is the way they do things around here (for me that is) everyone else gets them everyday. They like playing games with me, but that is okay, I can take it alot better than most of the guys in here.
As for your cousin, she shouldn't have said anything to you about me; I've been trying for years to keep my life away from my kids. But I am not mad at her, I guess she was only thinking of me, but I wanted my kids out of this all these years. I've stayed away from you, not letting you into my life; did you think that I've been doing this because I've wanted to?
I love you all very much and always did, but knowing myself like I do and things that I am in to, I don't want you around me or my life. I love you all very much; I don't want any of my kids to get hurt. I know that may sound like, one more reason or a lie but I've always let you kids believe what you want about me, I've never said anything bad about your mother and I never will. I never let her into my life also, she was my wife but she didn't know anything about me, she had my kids and still didn't know anything about me. To this day she thinks that I am a liar and a big ass-hole, but that is all right, her thinking that way keeps her from getting hurt much more than she did, if she had stayed by me. I loved that woman more than life itself, but I know how I am and I know the people that I work with. I knew the life I was going to have for myself, that wasn't the kind of life to give to a family.
I loved you all very much, but I was looking at many years in jail and that was no life for a family that you loved.
You are much older now and maybe can understand what I was going through, it wasn't easy to give up a family that I loved with all my heart. In many talks with Grandma as what to do about you all, I didn't want to stay away from you, and I didn't want to keep you near me, because I was afraid of you getting hurt. I guess we'll talk more of this in time. Some things you may not understand, and some things you may not believe, I can't help that sweetheart, there are many things in my life (that I don't believe that I did) but I know I did them, and maybe someday I'll have to do them again.
Your cousin knows alot about me (she may not tell you) but she has always been there for me no matter what happened. I love her very much; she has been a great friend when other people were afraid of me. But I'll tell you sweetheart, your cousin doesn't know all about me, but she knows more than any other person in this world, but there are many things that can't be said! I am telling you all this because I don't want you to think that I am keeping anything from you once we start talking with each other. There will be times that I won't answer you on some things. It isn't that I don't want you to know, but it is for the best that I don't say anything to you. What you don't know, can't hurt you, remember that saying.
Well, it is true sweetheart; I won't lie to you, I'll tell about myself as much as I can, until I believe that you shouldn't know for your own good. Your mother would say that I am an ass-hole for this (haha) But I think your Aunt feels the same way about me (haha). Your aunt cares, but she don't know or understand about her little brother. I also think it is for the best with her too. I knew that someday we would have to talk. I knew it was coming someday, but I tried to stay away from it as long as I could. I don't want any of you hurt by me ever again. I won't let that happen sweetheart, so please try and understand.
_____________________________________________________ -
continues..
Now to get back to my troubles.
First of all too much time in jail, I've had enough. I can't take much more, I've been in jail for over 23 years, I was only to do 15 years sweetheart, not 23 but I don't think I'll ever get out, without a good lawyer helping me from the streets. They make me see the parole board every year. I've been seeing them from the year 1983, now is 1991 and they are telling me to see them again in 1993 and remember I was only to do 15 years.
So the only way out for me is a lawyer or death. I know that is one hell of a thing to say, but that is how it is sweetheart. I'll never make two more years to see the parole board (for many reasons) and believe me sweetheart they know that, but I can't get my father to listen. He never did get along with me, like he does with my brother. If it were him who was asking for a lawyer he would have one by now, if it was him that was in jail he would be out a long time ago. But I guess he never did like how close me and mom (grandma) was, and believe me sweetheart he knows all the right people to get me out years ago. My sister keeps saying no, but she don't know the things that I know about our loving father! Anyway, I'll never ask him to help me ever again, he stays away from me and I stay away from him.
That is enough of that until we can sit and talk with each other face to face.
Well sweetheart, about the things that are going on around here. Some of these things I can handle myself, I have been doing that for many years, but I can't handle everything at once.
You see sweetheart, I have some enemies inside and outside of these jails. Most of them are inside and the people that runs these jails knows about all this, that is one of the reasons they moved me out of the state 5 years ago. They moved me to Vermont to do my time, but they moved me back to Mass., without telling me they were going to do this. They know I have enemies in this state, but they still want me to do my time in this state. There are places in Mass. that I can go without having any trouble with these guys, but they in Boston won't send me to any of these places! These enemies come from working with the cops. Like I said sweetheart, there are many things you don't know about me, and maybe it's for the best that you don't know. The only things that could be best for me is for me to get out of jail and out of this state forever. But I can't do any of those things, if these people who run these jails won't let me out! I know I'm not the best person in the whole wide world but how much of my life do I have to give them for my wrongs.
The law said 15 years, now I am on my way to do two more years for them. Tell me sweetheart when does it stop? I don't have many more years in my life, so how many more do I have to give them? What do I have in my life to look forward to? When will I have the time to start a life for my self out there if I am too old or sick to do anything? I think that is what they are looking for from me, and believe me sweetheart; I don't have much more time to give these people. If they are looking for me to lose my cool, then they don't have much more to push me, I won't go out lying down sweetheart, they'll have to kill me first!
I've done alot of time and I may be old, but I can still show them what an old timer is all about. I don't want this, God's knows I don't, I've had enough trouble in my life. I only want to live the rest of my life in peace!
I don't want war, I want to live and let live. To be with my kids and their kids, to make a home for myself somewhere. Am I asking too much sweetheart?
I've been reading your letters over and over again and there are many things I wish to tell you, but not in this letter or any other letter. I want us to sit down and talk about ourselves. I guess most of the talking will be from me; I have much to tell you, if I can find the words. I am not much into writing letters as you can see. I can't put myself or words right, sometimes I do all right, but I have to know the person that I am talking with. Anyways, I believe you know what I am saying, right?, right!
Well you asked me if I needed anything, the answer is yes, what I need is a lawyer, most of all, but I don't want you to get this on your own. Talk to the family first once you get here, I know it won't do much good, every one of them has a home, new cars, but they don't have enough money to get me out of jail. 23 years I've been inside, could have been out of jail many years ago, but every time I ask Dad (Grandpa) or the family, no one has the money. Well, I guess that is the way it is. If I was out there and any one of them needed me I would help all I could, and believe me I've did before, and I was still in jail at the time (think about it).
Well, I ask my brother to get me a old color TV or something, they lost all my things coming from Concord to here, can't see how they did that, but they can't find any of my things (mind games).
I know he won't get it, but I asked him the same, and I'll know today if I get it or not. I told him he could have it back after I leave here and get back on my feet in some other place. This looking at the walls in my room 24 hours a day isn't doing me any good at all, to much time on my hands. And they don't let me out of my room; the only time I get out is for a shower or a visit. Well, we'll see what my brother does for me on the TV and earphones, got to use earphones in this place or you can't have the TV. I'll tell you they love to play games in this place, can't win in anything.
Well, I believe that brings you up to everything for now (yes, I am not telling you everything) I can't in this letter or any other letter, we'll have to wait until we can be together, I would call you but we wouldn't have enough time to talk and that takes alot of money, besides I don't like phones, you never know who is listening on these phones!
I want to thank you for the letters, and I love you very much, I know I don't say it enough to you, but someday I pray to make up for that, and many more things. I've never forgotten about you or any of my family, alot of them thinks that I have, and some wish that I do, but staying away was one way of loving all of you. You may not think so now, but in time you'll see that for every action there is a reason. I love you all very much and if I had to do it all over again I may do alot of things different. To be without your loved ones hurts so much!
Well sweetheart, I'll end this book for now, I'll write again very soon. Please remember that I love you with all my heart. God Bless you always
Love always, your Father.....Ron
P.S. Happy Birthday Sweetheart, I can't get you cards from here, they don't sell them. But I love you Sherri, and I pray we have many more years together. Love You, DAD!
Bridgewater, Mass. Correctional Facility
_____________________________________________________ -
After reading this letter, Sherri wrote back to her father, letting him know that she would do all that she could to get him a lawyer and speak with the family. After a week, the letter that Sherri wrote her father came back from the Correctional Facility saying ‘Return to sender, no such inmate at this facility.’ Sherri never heard from her father again, and did not know where they transferred him. Sherri tried to call the Correctional facility and wrote a letter to the superintendent, nothing was return and no answer.
Sherri was once told by a family member that for the first three years until the trial date of his sentence that her father pleaded not guilty, then a week before the trial, someone came to him and told him that if he did not plead guilty that his wife and children would be sacrificed.
It was also told that a week before the trial date that he was offered a settlement from the attorneys, if he pleaded guilty he would only get 7 years in prison, and if he didnÂ’t he stood the chance of being in prison for the rest of his life.Then 25 years later, her father still in prison, died on the 25th anniversary (2/18/69) of the date he went into prison, February 18, 1994.
He was a suspect for a murder at a small gas station in Somerset, Mass, a place her father use to work and the best friend of the owner, whom was murdered. At the time of the murder Sherri is told that her mother and father were in New Jersey visiting a family member. Then the news came on the television and SherriÂ’s father was among the suspects of the murder victim. They were looking for him.
So as an honorable man, Sherri’s mother and father with the children, Sherri and little Ronnie, her mother was pregnant with her brother Donnie, drove back to Fall River, Mass., and the first place they go to is the police station, and my father went in and said to one of the officers, ‘I heard you were looking for me.’ The officer hand cuffed my father and arrested him right then and there.
The children still in the car with their mother, saw the policemen bring her father out of the police station with handcuffs on taking him away. Her mother was devastated and Sherri was screaming and banging on the window, ‘don’t take my daddy, please, don’t take my daddy.’ For years Sherri forgot about this happening for she was only three years old. She use to dream of this innocent until one day she wrote to her father and asked him if this had really happened for she was always dreaming about it. And her father confirmed it.
On the road trip to Massachusetts, Sherri is thinking of all this in her mind, and she just canÂ’t get past that fact that the man murdered was her fatherÂ’s best friend. Why would he want to kill his best friend? She thinks to herself. She canÂ’t see this happening. It has to be a set up, or the case of wrong identity.
Sherri makes it to Massachusetts, is happily invited into her cousin TinaÂ’s house. Sherri is also very happy to see her cousin Tina, itÂ’s been a long time and they had so much to catch up on. The first night Sherri and Tina stayed up all night long, talking and going through some of the things that SherriÂ’s father left behind.
Tina gave Sherri a picture that SherriÂ’s father held on to for many years. It was a picture of her, one she remembers sending to her father. She was only 18 in the picture. Tina also gave Sherri her fathers rosary, it was made with silver and onyx, Sherri was told that onyx was her fatherÂ’s favorite stone, and that made Sherri cry for onyx was one of SherriÂ’s favorite stones also. Tina and Sherri also spoke of the bizarre dream they both had, it was so weird that they both had the same dream. Sherri brought her jewelry box with her to TinaÂ’s house.
Sherri opened the jewelry box and the melody started to play, and Tina turned white as a ghost.
“Oh My God, Sherri, that is the melody that I heard over and over again in my dream."
Sherri let the jewelry box continue to play then all of sudden Tina pulled out SherriÂ’s father Bible, and when Tina went to hand the Bible to Sherri a picture of SherriÂ’s father fell out onto the floor. It was such a handsome picture. One that Tina and my father took together a very long time ago, but the picture had been cropped to were there was only my father in the picture, and there was a star above his head in the picture, he looked so much like the younger Burt Reynolds. Sherri really never new what her father looked like, for Sherri never received any pictures of her father in all her years. She was told that if she looked at her brother Ronnie, she would be looking at her father, and thatÂ’s probably one of there reasons why Sherri was so close to her brother.
Sherri just couldnÂ’t stop staring at her fatherÂ’s picture. He was so handsome and she could see the sadness in his eyes, and she noticed that she had the same eyes as her father, not a brown, not ebony, but a copper, and very piercing. She also noticed that they had the same nose and mouth.
Sherri asked Tina if she could have this picture?
‘Of course,’ Tina said.
Later that evening while going through some books and miscellaneous things that was left behind from SherriÂ’s father, Tina and Sherri came across a gray metal box, it had a bunch of index cards in it with all kinds of ingredients for poisons and addresses and bank and insurance accounts, also addresses of gun shops throughout the nation. It was weird to Sherri and Tina as to why he had such addresses. Some of the index cards had certain words circled as well as his bible, in the bible the word, sacrifice was circled many times. There was also a dictionary that was left and in the dictionary were words that had been circled, attorney, brother, bullet, crime, daughter, death, father, framed, friend, gas station, gun, innocent, judge, mafia, man, money, New Jersey, prison, settlement, son, spouse, superintendent, wall, wallet, wife, and woman.
Sherri and Tina were astonished, they both just couldnÂ’t believe all the words that had been circled, they both tried to decipher what it all meant, but to no prevail could not.
_____________________________________________________
to be continued...