A day in the mind of a gal like me...
-
Dear diarina,
i didn't know she was sincere in asking me out coz i really wanted was to noe her better after knowing her for so long. She didnt even sms me and that reaffirmed by suspicion of her insincerity of asking me out.
*sigh* D'na.. i kept waiting for her sms the whole day.
In Utter Depression,
Andy -
erm... you know, things/theories involving astral projection, controlling/manipulating reality, see ghosts, electro-magnetic fields, 'psychic powers' etc those kinda stuff...Originally posted by Transmission:metaphysics? ? ?
Hmm... me supposingly to be year 3 ...graduate ... but ..
still stuck in year 2 ... that means 4 years to complete my diploma... which i won't find it useful .. at least thats what i think... so i decided to get the fiak out of there...
i miss NYP .. hai ... all my frens in there ...
dunno why ...cannot describe...
Future... i plan to go into the F&B industry ... dun wanna reveal much ah ... me silent killer... hee..
btw, ur english very chim ... sometimes i very stress leh... dig out ur primary school english and use it on me can ?
Planning to go into the food and beverages line ar? As... chef? Teach me cook can? 
You did mention a jo in 2 weeks... Congratulations on ur new job 
Mind telling wat you working as?
me eng chim...?
I nearly fail my 'O' level eng lehz~ 
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DiarinaOriginally posted by Master -_-:Dear diarina,
i didn't know she was sincere in asking me out coz i really wanted was to noe her better after knowing her for so long. She didnt even sms me and that reaffirmed by suspicion of her insincerity of asking me out.
*sigh* D'na.. i kept waiting for her sms the whole day.
In Utter Depression,
Andy
My hp was low batt just now, so left it off... Was afraid to sms the guy for fear that he would think me a stalker Had I known he wouln't mind, I'll have flood his hp... Which just reminds me of what I have to do the next time I want to get a guy to meet me... That desperate huh? haiz~
Desprada'
En' -
Dear D'na,
*sigh*
This set of words aptly describes what i am feeling right now.
" How much would it hurt, if I shatter my skull...?
With devastating pain like my heart that shattered without a bounce...?
Peaceful death or cruel reality...?
Which do you choose? " -
hey ... i really believe those special powers around us.. tested proven ... sometimes scary ..sometimes farni ...oh well ...Originally posted by En':erm... you know, things/theories involving astral projection, controlling/manipulating reality, see ghosts, electro-magnetic fields, 'psychic powers' etc those kinda stuff...
Planning to go into the food and beverages line ar? As... chef? Teach me cook can? You did mention a jo in 2 weeks... Congratulations on ur new job Mind telling wat you working as?
me eng chim...? I nearly fail my 'O' level eng lehz~ 
hmm... yah... its my greatest interest in kitchen ..dunno why ...
Hmm....... my new job ... as a promotor...very good money ..
this time round ..i work for the money liao ... what to do ... NS ... really difficult phase in life... -
DiarinaOriginally posted by Master -_-:Dear D'na,
*sigh*
This set of words aptly describes what i am feeling right now.
" How much would it hurt, if I shatter my skull...?
With devastating pain like my heart that shattered without a bounce...?
Peaceful death or cruel reality...?
Which do you choose? "
I believe some guy just infringed on my copyright... Think I can sue him...?
Though just wondering, next time I ask him out, you think he'll go...?
Pondering'
En'
hmmmm...... -
Originally posted by Transmission:hey ... i really believe those special powers around us.. tested proven ... sometimes scary ..sometimes farni ...oh well ...
hmm... yah... its my greatest interest in kitchen ..dunno why ...
Hmm....... my new job ... as a promotor...very good money ..
this time round ..i work for the money liao ... what to do ... NS ... really difficult phase in life... Most importatly, those subjects are not and will not be dead...
Ok mahz, but hor if u wanna work in the kitchen, make sure u good enough lehz, dun end up cooking food like mine
-_-"
Good lucks with ur new job and must jia you! kay? -
haha...realc ah ..i confident in my skills ok ... erm.. at least better than when i first started out ... okie ..should say much about it ...thought i say i wanna be a silent killer .... heeOriginally posted by En': Most importatly, those subjects are not and will not be dead...
Ok mahz, but hor if u wanna work in the kitchen, make sure u good enough lehz, dun end up cooking food like mine
-_-"
Good lucks with ur new job and must jia you! kay?
btw u year what .. ? sbm ah ?? -
Originally posted by Transmission:haha...realc ah ..i confident in my skills ok ... erm.. at least better than when i first started out ... okie ..should say much about it ...thought i say i wanna be a silent killer .... hee
btw u year what .. ? sbm ah ??
Okok
Got chance u teach me cook can?
Silent killer can, just dun add extra ingredient in ur dishes
yr2... in the most noble profession ever since the sars incidence
S now u officially considered quit sch liao...? -
SCANDAL?
-
Originally posted by Master -_-:
btwn u and me...?
[b]SCANDAL? [/b]
See Diarina,
told u he wouldn't go~
Justified'
En' -
unofficially confirm leave school ....Originally posted by En':
Okok
Got chance u teach me cook can?
Silent killer can, just dun add extra ingredient in ur dishes
yr2... in the most noble profession ever since the sars incidence
S now u officially considered quit sch liao...?
i am just waiting for the school to make the first move...
haha...
thats the advice my sister gave me ...
I ask her for her comments ...and she say..
since u have no idea where to go ...
just study till the school kick you out ...
hey... i find it meaningful ha... haha
hai.. nurse... reminds me of hospital ..
i dun ever wanna step into a hospital again ...
but ..i must say this ...
i respect Nurse more than Doctors ... -
erm... ok...Originally posted by Transmission:unofficially confirm leave school ....
i am just waiting for the school to make the first move...
haha...
thats the advice my sister gave me ...
I ask her for her comments ...and she say..
since u have no idea where to go ...
just study till the school kick you out ...
hey... i find it meaningful ha... haha
hai.. nurse... reminds me of hospital ..
i dun ever wanna step into a hospital again ...
but ..i must say this ...
i respect Nurse more than Doctors ...
Aren't there any courses or something u can take for ur interest meanwhile?
again...? Wat happened the last time u step into a hospital? spill!
/pats Transmission (ur nick very the long lehz~)
it's over now, take care of ur health lor
Gonna go bed le, nite nitez, nice talking to ya
U better sleep too -
Diarina,
I have been up since... erm... last night? The last time I slept was on thur nite Watched x-men2 today. Met zen Was fun! Bought and binged on a lot of chocolates and spent a total of $38 on entertainment (food + movie) Totally broke now... Darn tired. Going to bed. Sleep tight diarina
Indulgent'
En' -
wah... 10pm ..going to bed ...
think u need the rest lor...
hmm... don't like hospital .. because of some personal problems...
don't like Doctors ... also because of some personal problems ..
haha... me lots of problems one ...always discover i got white hair ...
u take care ....
nite
-
I did need the rest, and totally enjoyed it!!!Originally posted by Transmission:wah... 10pm ..going to bed ...
think u need the rest lor...
hmm... don't like hospital .. because of some personal problems...
don't like Doctors ... also because of some personal problems ..
haha... me lots of problems one ...always discover i got white hair ...
u take care ....
nite
Personal probs eh? Hmmm... Too bad I don't know you well enough to kpo
White hair? cute Like one of me fren... He went to dye his hair, if u want, you certainly have the right too -
Diarina
Today's mother's day... Went to my grandma's for dinner. When I was very young, I used to live there and it was always so crowded. I used to love it then, especially during new year Though recently, ok maybe not that recently, I am beginning to shun crowds Too noisy for me...
Had a little too much to eat As usual... Which may be why I never managed to lose any weight and also why I dun plan to... Not any time in the recent future I think Afterall diarina, Big IS Beautiful Don't you agree with me...? Besides theres no crime being in the shape of a bowling ball, is there? Ok so maybe I'm exaggerating a lil'
/Sings:" Once upon a time, girl I was just like you
Never let my extra large light just shine through
hair was brown and nappy, never had no fun
I heard a lot of bullsh[/i]it which is easier said than done
Then one day my grandma who was big and stout
She said you gotta love yourself from inside out
and Just as soon as I learn how to strut my funky stuff
I found out that the world at large can't get enough
so... bring on that pecan pie
pour some sugar on it
sugar don't be shy
smoothe me up for missing that chocolate swirl
Don't be stingy I'm a growing girl"
LoL'
En' -
Diarina
Haven't updated in a while, sorry for the bad penmanship
How have you been...?
I went to meet lilo jie today, with frost, to celebrate frost's belated b.day It was fun, and I had a delicious mint-choc sundae Food, a binger's best friend
Then around evening, attended a course with jie and ryu. It was fun! and very informative... Am definitely looking forward to it again Nex tuesday!!! Come to me!!!
Time for bed, nitez diarina
Sleepy'
En' -
Diarina,
It's a wonderful day!!! Remember a few days back I told u I planted some sage seeds in eggshells...? (Yes, I really planted them in the egg shells...) Well, this afternoon when I woke up, one (I planted four) grew!!!
Yesterday it was just dirt in egg shells, this morning there's a tiny seedling the length just about my littlest fingernail on my right Around 1 cm... and it's looking pretty good too
Once the second set of leaves come, I'll transplant that into a pot... Meanwhile, let's wait and see if I have any late bloomers in my shell...
Green'
En' -
Diarina,
I don't know whether to laugh or cry... Recently had been feeling very drained and tired, yet at the same time getting insomnia Was in the same state of mind a few hours ago, so decided to clear my room.. Started ard midnight, until now, I haven't even got 1/4 of it cleared, in fact, I made a much bigger mess of it then before... Now the entire floor of my room is covered with papers... My new carpet I am such a pack rat. That is why I am in such distress now...
I found an old file, several files actually, but one in particular that I could not let go. In it were all notes and letters from my old classmates, namely from her only... I read through everything and I felt like crying, like all the hundreds of thousands times when I think about the past. Yet somehow, just now, the tears wouldn't come... Is that a good thing diarina?
When I read the letters she wrote to me during class, emotions surged through me, waves after strong waves... I laughed, hoped, wished, feared, pondered and almost cried when I read what we wrote, that long time ago... Still can remember the times when during class, instead of listening to lessons, we were writing letters and really A4 sized pages and pages of words to each other, other times passing notes or changing seats with our classmates so we could talk during those boring lesson or when everyone else was too busy with their ten-year series to bother about us...
I still cannot let go of the past, of my own stupidity and insecurity, of losing something I would never hold again... I feel like throwing this particular file out, should I? If I do, would the wounds in my heart heal? What am I supposed to learn from all that? I know what I learned from our times together is that between friendship and romance, choose friendship... But is that what I am truely supposed to glean from that experience?
I thought I had healed or am beginning too... Still when reading the letters, I can feel the confusion, turmoil and longing deep inside of me... The hopes are still there, with the memories and the tears- would they ever go away? In my heart now, I still have this pang of... I don't know... longing? wishing? dreaming the impossible...? maybe just common guilt or anger...? Most likely, friendship. Goodness, am crying while tying, hope my mom doesn't wake up now...
It's almost three years now, I still cannot let it go... I wonder why I often hear about her, from our ex-classmate. She's been getting on fine, I heard, changed a lot... 
Good for her I supposed. She never told her mother of what happened btwn us. Her mother thought we were still in contact... Still best friends...
I don't know why I'm telling you this diarina... It did help, as aways, feeling a lil better, but sometime later, I start feeling worse again... I hate being ths way... All I want to know diarina, is whether I should keep the file or hrow it away...? I cannot bear to have my past and all the pain raked up fresh everytime I see the file, yet I canot bear to so ruthlessly throw away one of the most beautiful part of my past... What should I do diarina? tell me...? Please...?
Trapped in pain'
En' -
Diarina,
I finally finished cleaning up my room... Or rather, I just finish cleaning up the messy pile of junk I created while trying to clean my room... Talk abt rejoicing after a small victory Now I'm left wih tryng to clean up my room... again. You won't believe the amount of junk I packed away in my drawers and tucked in some forgotten corners In case you are wondering how big my room is, it's the normal size of... well... child's bedroom... Just that being the habitual procrastinator cum pack-rat, I take a longer time to clean and decide which of my stuff I really want to keep... I kept that file...
Tml I'm going to that class again... Very interesting I think I might wear white Recently weather is too hot for any color... Then again, I only seem to have black and denims... and one white shirt Recently gained weight again... Don't ask me how or why I can gain slightly noticeable amount of weight in one week, I just did... My new mantra, for until I lose all the extra Kgs I'm sporting, is "Big is Beautiful!"
Oh and a little whining before bedtime... It's so hot! and stuffy! and humid! weather's so unbearable!!!
and belive it or not, I caught a cold! Recently taken to sleeping in the daytime, skyclad with air-con full blast. Dumb move, I just realise I think I'm going to melt soon, not a pretty sight! One of these days, I'm really gonna be suffocated! 
Hot and bothered'
En' -
Diarina,
It's already nearing the end of may... Time just pass so fast, I wondered what I did the past few days, just can't really seem to remember...
My sage seedling is growing prett good, I suppose... I just transplanted it into my pot The second set of leaves opened already and are so very tiny that instead of ruler, again I measured them against my nails The length is that of, well, the littlest fingernail on my right little finger Which is... well... rather short since I don't keep long nails
I read somewhere that the seedlings's first set of leaves is the false leave or something like that, so cute!!! Coz now looking at my sage, I can very clearly differentiate between the first set of leaves and the second! And a third set is on it's way... already can see tthe very tiny beginning...
In case you suspect diarina, I'm perfectly sane! Just over-whelmingly happy! Coz this is the only time I ever got this far with plants If you, like me, very sadly lack of a green thumb, you'll be surprised too, at how easily contented you'll be at the growth of a new life...!
My sage is now...erm... flourescent-light tanning beside me Recently i's been getting like a it leggy and I read that it's due to a lack of sunlight... and since I cant very well suspend it mid-air outside my room window, I suppose it'll just have to get use to artificial light... Think it'll work...?
On the bright side, less sun = less chances to get cancer Does plants get cancer...? Au Naturale'
En' -
Diarina,
A lot of things on my mind lately...Problem is, I can't seem to identify a singular most important issue... Just feels like it's over-crowded inside my mind... can't think clearly, can't feel clearly, can't even respond properly... can't seem to be able to do anything...Oh well... I suppose I shld feel content... right?
Found some lemon balm seeds from long ago, wonder if they've expired... Will try planting, think it'll work? we'll just have to wait and see eh...? My sage seedling is growing well... I think, still very leggy looking... though the third set of leaves might open someday soon, it'll seem
Waiting for tue, class again. Fun! Life...? Humdrum... Hmmm... Sleep? Good idea... Nitez diarina.
Lurve'
En' -
Diarina,
So long never update liao, this update tell ya good news! I passed! I passed! I PASSED!!!! My exams results are out and I just checked, I passed EVERYTHING! Well, the result slip ain't pretty, just passes and D's, but hey, that's not what matters Really thought I was a goner this time around Don't know how I pass, when I pass or why I pass but I did! Yeay!!!
Next sem, I'll study! Really will! Oh, and I won't skip more than 1/2 of the total number of lectures! Throw in also, paying attention in tutorials and not leaving my revision till last minute! I hate to worry like this every year, so next sem will go study!!! Really!!!
Actually, I think is coz of the SARS episode, that's why I passed... Coz our sch had us stop attachment and quarantined at home while the other schools were studying... and coz of the lack of health-care professionals right now... That's why minimize the time a student spend studying (or almost in my case, repeating several modules)... Ah well, watever...
Time for bed, [color=0099ff]~*~ sweet dreams ~*~
[color=ff33cc]Lurve'
En' -
Little En cleared herexams ar? Gong Xi! Gong Xi!