Tonight, it was a nice evening spent with classmate. We called it a day with a 2155pm movie titled "Finding Nemo". A good show indeed.
I hop on to a taxis. And started to chat with the cabby. Nice chat but our conversation turns heavy...
He ask:"Are u married, lady?" I replied "Yes" He continue "Does you hubby loves you and always with you in times of trouble??" I replied carefully :" Why are u asking?"
He continued his story in a deep tone and i can feel his sorrow and guilt. He wanted me to spread his story to remind all husbands, boyfriends and men to love your love ones especially wife...
In january 03, he lost his wife to cancer. He regretted not standing by with his wife during her struggle with cancer. Most of his time he spent driving around as he is a cabby... but with the fact that he is unfaithful to his wife too. He went to prositution for sex. He even has a close girlfriend.
He just love to hang out and refused to go home. He did not bother about his sick wife nor bother to ask how is she when she looks frail and pale nor bother to find out from doctor how is her treatment going. He did not even bother to accompany her to the hospital for treatment despite the fact that she is in pain and fear from chemo. He literately leave her alone battling with her illness.
He did not bother at all to know, always giving excuses like busy with business (a cab business)... business needs him to run about and even demand his sick wife to understand.
At times the sick wife tried to strike a conversation, he will brush off. For some times he thought that there is no love between them. (He was wrong. He love her very much and needed her.)
Then came a day when his wife is dying, then he realised that his wife had long given up hope by giving up treatment. He can't help but scolding his wife stupid at her death bed. He was in tears for a first time.
He never able to forget his wife last words :"Dear, i have been lonely all this while. I long for your company but you never there. You lied to me that you will stand by me to help me pull through this crisis...you never there for me.... Still I love you and thanks for being my hubby..."
He added...It is at the moment before her last breathe, he burst into tears and whisper into her ears " I love you... I am sorry..."
But all is too late... she is gone... forever.
Thereafter his life has changed... till now he feel that he had let his wife down and living in guilt. He regretted. Only now he realised he is a coward... a coward who refused to face his wife sickness as fact nor accept the truth of his marriage vow ..."be with her thru health and illness till death do us part". He simply just want to find an easy and selfish way out by escaping.
At this moment i can feel his manly tone shaken, trying hard to fight back his tears. I was at a loss of words. I told myself to console him but no words came out.
I feel sorry for him but somehow deep in my heart, i do agree that he is a coward and he should feel guilty.
I can understand and feel the loneliness and the pain the wife must have been putting up. SHe must be in great despair that she make the decision to stop treatment; an indirect act to slow suicide. I am sure if the husband is there for her during her treatment process, giving her all the encouragement phyically, emotionally and mentally, she would have lived.
Well i did not probe further if they had kids or how long has she had her cancer or when she stop her treatment and what type of cancer? I see no reasons at all to know.
At last I am home after a 25 mins ride. I alighted with a heavy heart after greeting him goodbye and accepting his advise to "treasure your love ones and remember the marriage vow."
I pondered again. Must we always learned how to treasure our loved ones only when we lost them?? Why are we always repeating mistakes when it is a clear mistake happened on TV and in real life? Are we people so stubborn that GOD had to punish us and make us learn thru the hardest way (losing our loved ones)??
Now i know why my colleague (receptionist) insisted her husband to say "I love you" once in the morning (when woke up) and once in the night (when about to sleep). Her reason is "We don't know what life had ahead of us. Some people just died in their sleep without even to know or hear from their spouse such words. How pathetic??"
I think she has a point.
So friends, please tell your love ones how much they are loved by u, shower them with love by words and gestures.
Do it for LOVE. And live a life without regrets.
Husband, love your wife; Wife, commit to your husband.
Husband/Wife of a patient, stand by he/her and help he/her to build hope. Never under-estimate such forces. Understand their pain though you can never feel their pain. Your pressence is always a reward for the patient to fight on and stay alive. Bring them hope and let them keep their faith thru you.
May all of us understand the meaning of life - and a meaningful life is come from the joy of sharing with family and friends and sometimes even strangers.
We are borned with a divine purpose and so don't denied it.
PS: possible share this mail with your love ones.
sob sob
i dun have any loves ones leh
will i going to die with regrets!!!!!!
WAIT~~~ i still have my parents
/me run over to mummy and papa : " i love you"
i remember someone always say this : i not afraid to have too much memories but scare to have with toooo much regrets