being wo3 xing2 wo3 su4
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had a pte msg irc session wif someone this afternoon, and it triggered me some thoughts on the above subject...
following is the cut-and-pasted piece of a small part of our irc conversation. no modifications has been made, except for the nick of this person, where i decided to keep anonymous. here goes...
[15:09] what kind of person i am
[15:10] how do i treat my friends
[15:10] i think u quite nice lor..
[15:10] arh/
[15:10] everytime listen ear to others
[15:10] ok, bad points one
[15:10] i mean tell me abt my bad points
[15:10] bad points ar..
[15:11] dont feel paiseh to say
[15:11] hmm.. how shld i put i
[15:11] it
[15:11] hmm.. wait ar
[15:13] wah... need to find dictoinary for the word arh?
[15:13] so chim meh?
[15:13] hhehe
[15:13] no lar.. just that maybe sometimes u tend to wo xing wo su
[15:13] wo xing wo su?
[15:13] ok, that's interesting
[15:14] example?
[15:14] actually wait...
[15:14] define wo xing wo su
[15:14] hmm like u wont want to follow e crowd.. tend to do what u like most of the time
[15:14] but that's what i think only
[15:15] oh ok
[15:15] does not represent any grp or person
[15:15] no argument for that
[15:15] i agree, no representation
[15:15] of any grp or whosoever
[15:15] hee hee
[15:15] is that a bad point?
[15:16] yup yup
[15:16] soemtimes it is
[15:16] but so might view it as just yr personality
[15:16] mebbe that's why it affects a bit on my frienship circle
[15:16] or social circle
[15:16] yup yup.. sometime have to bend abit to fit the crows
[15:16] crowd
[15:17] * wee nods
in the above conversation, there's a mention of wo3 xing2 wo3 su4 at time [15:13]. i dunno what's the english equivalent of this chinese phrase, is it called individualistic? egocentric? selfish? pompous? withdrawn?
if... being such a person, does he deserved to be ostracised? hmm... this word might be too strong or harsh, but i cant find any other word of a lesser weight.
ok, let's trash... -
quite frankly i can't find any reason why anyone should follow the crowd...
all the better if u can be an individual without following any trends
if u want a tok abt bad points regarding that, yeah like u said, maybe the person dao or sumthing... -
What's wrong with being yourself?
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i also wanna know if there's anything wrong...Originally posted by Parka: What's wrong with being yourself? 
thot someone here can gimme a good answer
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hmm... any other reason besides being dao?Originally posted by kopiosatu:quite frankly i can't find any reason why anyone should follow the crowd...
all the better if u can be an individual without following any trends
if u want a tok abt bad points regarding that, yeah like u said, maybe the person dao or sumthing... -
i think tat person must know her way very well loh...Originally posted by weeeeeee.....:hmm... any other reason besides being dao?
coz if not lost y follow crowd?? -
the word is introvert
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there is nothing wrong with being urself.... so wat if u are the only kid on the block? as long as u feel okay... then don care bout wat others think... just do wat u wan to do....Originally posted by weeeeeee.....:i also wanna know if there's anything wrong...
thot someone here can gimme a good answer -
ha ha... what makes u think it's a "her"?Originally posted by Future4ossiL:i think tat person must know her way very well loh...
coz if not lost y follow crowd??
anyway, thanks for ur comments
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well... it had somehow developed into further complications and conclusions of what kind of person i am... awaiting for a trash out...Originally posted by weidev:there is nothing wrong with being urself.... so wat if u are the only kid on the block? as long as u feel okay... then don care bout wat others think... just do wat u wan to do.... -
coz straight guys dun have tis problem...Originally posted by weeeeeee.....:ha ha... what makes u think it's a "her"?
anyway, thanks for ur comments -
u r wat u r.... juz like i am wat i am.....Originally posted by weeeeeee.....:well... it had somehow developed into further complications and conclusions of what kind of person i am... awaiting for a trash out...
i am a goodboy....
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As long as you are not hated by piles of people, you're still alright.
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individualistic could be the word u're looking for too.
anyway purely from this thread i dun think u have a problem. sometimes people do things that we don't really enjoy doing, or worse, we usually enjoy doing it, but not in the mood. there's nothing wrong with politely declining and doing something else, or nothing at all.
i find it helpful to have a few groups of friends that do different things, and anyway i'm not that bothered (possibly as u) wat we do, unless it COSTS too much! ahhaha but really, i dun see that u have a "problem" but perhaps if this is a bid to change urself, all u have to do is just think that u are spending time with ur frens, not just doing the activity, maybe that might spur u on to accept the invitation that u usually would have declined.
also it's great to have things to do that u can ONLY do alone, and that's going to take pics (for me). time out by urself is important so that when u have to "entertain" (sorree very very BAD word to use, dun really mean it that way horrrrr~~) your friends, you're at ease with first, YOURself, then with your friends.
hope i never out of topic. -
I define wo xing wo su as doing things to your preference while disregarding other's wishes. This is fine if you're alone.
But as long as you're in a group, you can't do this without hurting someone else, or facing some opposition. It's not easy to exercise your right such that you don't infringe upon other's.
If it's something simple like an outing for example, don't think it matters much if you do whatever you want. (Then again some people won't like that... it depends how accepting your peers are.) When you're working in a group, you've got to take other factors in consideration and sometimes, your priorities take a back seat. -
that was quite a load of crap i've read 4 quite some time... thanxOriginally posted by jOhO:individualistic could be the word u're looking for too.
anyway purely from this thread i dun think u have a problem. sometimes people do things that we don't really enjoy doing, or worse, we usually enjoy doing it, but not in the mood. there's nothing wrong with politely declining and doing something else, or nothing at all.
i find it helpful to have a few groups of friends that do different things, and anyway i'm not that bothered (possibly as u) wat we do, unless it COSTS too much! ahhaha but really, i dun see that u have a "problem" but perhaps if this is a bid to change urself, all u have to do is just think that u are spending time with ur frens, not just doing the activity, maybe that might spur u on to accept the invitation that u usually would have declined.
also it's great to have things to do that u can ONLY do alone, and that's going to take pics (for me). time out by urself is important so that when u have to "entertain" (sorree very very BAD word to use, dun really mean it that way horrrrr~~) your friends, you're at ease with first, YOURself, then with your friends.
hope i never out of topic. -
nope, u werent out of topic, appreciate ur commentsOriginally posted by jOhO:individualistic could be the word u're looking for too.
anyway purely from this thread i dun think u have a problem. sometimes people do things that we don't really enjoy doing, or worse, we usually enjoy doing it, but not in the mood. there's nothing wrong with politely declining and doing something else, or nothing at all.
i find it helpful to have a few groups of friends that do different things, and anyway i'm not that bothered (possibly as u) wat we do, unless it COSTS too much! ahhaha but really, i dun see that u have a "problem" but perhaps if this is a bid to change urself, all u have to do is just think that u are spending time with ur frens, not just doing the activity, maybe that might spur u on to accept the invitation that u usually would have declined.
also it's great to have things to do that u can ONLY do alone, and that's going to take pics (for me). time out by urself is important so that when u have to "entertain" (sorree very very BAD word to use, dun really mean it that way horrrrr~~) your friends, you're at ease with first, YOURself, then with your friends.
hope i never out of topic. 
i agree that having different group of friends is good too, where u can do different things wif different groups. add more colours to ur life.
to me, friends r hard to come by. of all the 3 million population in s'pore, why do i choose u to be my friend? what brought us together? i call this yuan2 fen4 (what's the english equivalent? fate? destiny? i hope u understand what i mean).
and what makes a friendship last for many years? a question that everyone shud sit down and ponder.
to me, i cherish those true friendships, especially those last for many years one. i still can go out and make new friends, but no matter what, my old friends still stand more weight in my heart.
ur suggestion of taking this as "a bid to change urself, all u have to do is just think that u are spending time with ur frens, not just doing the activity", is something i tried to keep in mind. for those i declined, were usually becoz of distance constraints (i stayed in sengkang, whereas most of my friends stayed in the west side of s'pore). but that doesnt mean that i dont enjoy their company!
true, there was a period of time where i travel all to way to the west side of s'pore and spent the time wif them usually till after midnight. and what kind of public transport is still available after midnight? and how much money i gotta spend juz on transport alone? and can i afford to do it like 3 or 4 times a week?
u mentioned this before: it COSTS too much! and usually i have to opt out or look for alternative activities. and when my alternative activities involves female friends, wud i be labelled as chee hong or horny?
and ur point on "entertaining" (or eng siu in hokkien), i dont do that to friends. i dont go out wif ppl juz to make them happy while i "suffer" (e.g. burning big hole in my pocket, involves in an activity that i dont do or i dont like). -
yup, i agree to all what u said. i might hurt someone else or face opposition by being wo3 xing2 wo3 su4.Originally posted by choco B:I define wo xing wo su as doing things to your preference while disregarding other's wishes. This is fine if you're alone.
But as long as you're in a group, you can't do this without hurting someone else, or facing some opposition. It's not easy to exercise your right such that you don't infringe upon other's.
If it's something simple like an outing for example, don't think it matters much if you do whatever you want. (Then again some people won't like that... it depends how accepting your peers are.) When you're working in a group, you've got to take other factors in consideration and sometimes, your priorities take a back seat.
this is something i oughtta watch out for... thanks for the advice, sincerely -
Being wo xing wo su: on the good side.. u have a mind/opinion of ur own. but if u are one extreme wo xing wo su style which insist tat others must follow ur decision. u end up being a dictator and ordering ppls ard. and this doesnt sound good.
tat how i think. but for me, i would prefer to follow the crowds or ask the crowds for opinion before confirming certain things.
hmm, forget to include something.. My CCA officer once told me this quote before: A good leader is also a good follower. I forget where he quote tat sentence from. Might be from the bible. -
Basically, if u fall in the good side of that term...
ppl should accept you for who u are...
but ur on the other side... then u must look in the mirror and see how u should improve urself -
Originally posted by edLow:
good point u raised, on A good leader is also a good follower. but i have no wish to be a leader. i'm not carved out to lead ppl and i know that.
Being wo xing wo su: on the good side.. u have a mind/opinion of ur own. but if u are one extreme wo xing wo su style which insist tat others must follow ur decision. u end up being a dictator and ordering ppls ard. and this doesnt sound good.
tat how i think. but for me, i would prefer to follow the crowds or ask the crowds for opinion before confirming certain things.
hmm, forget to include something.. My CCA officer once told me this quote before: [b]A good leader is also a good follower. I forget where he quote tat sentence from. Might be from the bible.[/b]
and i dont insist ppl to follow my decision or ordering ppl around. -
i agree!Originally posted by kopiosatu:Basically, if u fall in the good side of that term...
ppl should accept you for who u are...
but ur on the other side... then u must look in the mirror and see how u should improve urself
i've been always very conscious of myself, what i do and how i act. if i can discover any wrong, i'll try to improve.
but there might be some times that i overlooked or do not discover my wrongdoings. and the only "mirror" i can have is my friends' advice... by telling me off. that'll create more impact. -
good to be wo xing wo su sometimes..if that's yr personality yr friends should be able to accept it.. but sometimes in order to be with yr friends or be in their click.. we have to be more sway he.. as in they wanna go this place although u dont really like it.. maybe u can just tag along and be one of the company..
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Originally posted by weeeeeee.....:
Sometime there bound to be someone ard to lead the grp. But being too strict and start ordering ppls ard.. doesnt sound good. Might end up an arguements with frds.
good point u raised, on [b]A good leader is also a good follower. but i have no wish to be a leader. i'm not carved out to lead ppl and i know that.
and i dont insist ppl to follow my decision or ordering ppl around.
[/b] -
But frds might not necassary give the real advise as they might noe u too well than urself. Chinese got a saying goes "Pang Kuan Zhe Qing" and they know tat a small remark might actually spoil the friendship between both.. assuming the person involve is too confident and does not really accept wat's other say bout him/herOriginally posted by weeeeeee.....:i agree!
i've been always very conscious of myself, what i do and how i act. if i can discover any wrong, i'll try to improve.
but there might be some times that i overlooked or do not discover my wrongdoings. and the only "mirror" i can have is my friends' advice... by telling me off. that'll create more impact.