Man : Where are you from?
Woman : U.S.A
Man : Are you here on vacation?
Woman : No lah! I'm here for lunch.
Man : What!!! All the way from United States of America!!!
Woman : No lah! Upper Serangoon Avenue.
Man : !!@#$%
*********************************************************
A customer went to snack bar and ordered a hamburger.
When 20 minutes had gone and his food hadn't arrived, the irritated customer asked the waiter.
Customer: Will my hamburger be long?
Waiter: No, sir...it will be round.
********************************************************
Two young boys was having their morning breakfast, consist
of hot chocolate and cereal. As he almost finish his meal,
the younger of the two headed for their aquarium, his hand
full of cereal. Just before he feed the turtles and the fish,
his mother came into the room.
"Don't do it, Kamal",she said."They'll die." The boys face
turned pale and throw his mother a desperate look, "Then
why did you gave it to us ?"
*********************************************************
Diner: Waiter, look at this chicken, nothing but skin and bones.
Waiter: What else do u want, feathers?
Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!
Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.
Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!
Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?
*********************************************************
Ben: These ice-cream are too expensive
John: Stop complaining and pay with a smile.
Ben: I wish I could but the man insists on cash!
*********************************************************
Almost bald man: Why do u always charge me double? You ought to charge me cheaper for I don't have much hair!
Barber: No, no! We ! don't charge for cutting the hair!
We charge for having to search for it!
*********************************************************
New prisoner comes to prison cell.
Convicts: What has happened with you that you are here?
Prisoner: I have broken a window on my job place.
Convicts: It's unbelievable! Where did you work?
Prisoner: On a submarine.
Lim Bu finds that looking at small, furry animals is the best medicine.
