The art of kissing
Okay onto French Kissing 101 (Tongue aerobics)
The art of french kissing. Ahemm...is a artistic form of art that was often neglected and/or rush into.
First the lips got to be wet, yes kissing a dry pair of lips is know to lead to dehydration and hyperventilation from the bad experience and abrasion. Ahem.... Ok all, wet your lips yet? Now open your mouth wide and stick out your tougue.
Touch your own tongue.
There are different type of tongues, the big and thick one, the long and thin one, the sharp, the rounded, the rough, the smooth, the rigid, the flexible, the pointed, the blunt, the cheeky and the nerdy.
For a good kissing experience ,the myth is that you will need a long, sharp, and flexible tongue. But trust me, after this lesson, you will realise that it doesn't matter so much. The most important criterias here are the techniques and the art of teasing.
Ahem... I would appreciate if the couple at the back of the class can take your attention away from each other's tongue and focus here please....ahem.. thank you.
Now Let's do some warm up for the practical session later, roll the tongue into a ball, and release it again. This is to allow the muscles of your tongue to relax, understand that the tongue is the strongest muscle on your body. Repeat, this procedure for about 20 times. Those who cannot achieve a perfect ball, please excuse us, as you are not eligible for the next excercise. Ok, the next one is to flip your tongue opposite first to the left then to the right, again repeat this excercise 20 times. For those who again cannot do it, please leave us. Now, we come to the streching, stick your tongue as far as you can, pull it back, and repeat again for 20 times. This will allow for flexiblitly.
Now for some aerobics. Flip your tongue up and down at the fastest possible speed you can in one breath. Repeat the fliping for 2 full mins. After that, it's left and right and then diagonally left and then diagonally right. Repaet each for 2 full mins. The above will help in reflexes of the tongue.
Okay are we done? Does your tongue feel warm already? If it does, then you are ready for 201...
French Kissing 201 (Breathing)
You will need to hold your breath for a very long time in order to get the feeling that is commonly known as "high". For the first excercise, breath in, and breath out sloooooowly. Repeat for 10 breaths. Next, breath in and hold it there for 30 seconds, increase the time by 10 seconds each time until you can hold it for 2 full mins.
*wait*
Are we ready? these breathing excercise can help in the expansion of the lungs to hold air for any marathon session that you want to hold. I strongly encourage you to do them in your own free time.
French Kissing 301 (Practical)
*Romantic Song playing in the background, with dim lights*
Now, for the practical. Go on find your partner. I will guide you all verbally...emmm gals I meant I speak you all do...now go back to your partners, is there any female out there without a partner? Seriously without!
Please come to me. I will oblige.
No? All right then...close your eyes...
Now, put those lips together.... NO, I meant your lips and her lips not your own lips *knock on the head* That's right.... put it together. Ok now before you all start anything, take a deep breath...hold it there...now proceed......
Feel the interior of the mouth, enjoy the wetness, explore with the tip of your tongue the softness of the walls, try to find your partners tongue if you have not already done so...tease it, push it, pull it, twirl around it, tickle it, hook it, bring it into your own mouth, let him/her be seduced, let your body losse, concentrate on the feeling of his/her tongue, feel the warmness, feel the breath of him/her against your face, feel it, experience it. Once it's in, dun let it go back, make sure it stays, make sure you continue to seduce it, deeper and deeper into your mouth. Dun give it a chance to rest, think of your tongue as a bait, luring the prey into your trap, let him/her explore your mouth, feel the tickle on the walls, feel the rubbing against your teeth, feel, experience the feeling of tongue tightening, concentrate, everything around you does not matter anymore, just the tongue, just the feeling....
*lights on*
Ok, stop for now, how's the practical? Enjoyed it? Well, it gets better with practice, I strongly encourage keeping to the same partner, as it would help to guide one another. That's all for french kissing. Please remember not to leave any partners behind. Good Day.
Lip Sealing studies - Initiation
Well, first kiss? Hmmm.....I think I better discount those kiss on the cheeks and the young fumblings....they are not worth mentioning. I am after all trying to sell myself on how good a kisser I am anyway.
Sad to say, my first kiss was given to some ah lian when I was a roaming bad boy teasing young impressionable ah lians. By the way, I can't recall any lians (no offense) who can kiss really well, I call them dead fish, cos their tongue are just dead pan.
Announcement: If there are any differing views on this matter from any ah lians out there, I would gladly entertain you on this matter to prove my point....literally.
Ok You all should know by now that I am really deperate for a wet tongue tieing session by now, but I have not kissed in months so pardon me.
Well...back to the topic.....I can't help but digress sometimes. Well, I can't say for sure the exact way to initate a first kiss. But I can say it takes a lot of work to put the mood right. I dun believe in waiting for the right moment, for it might just take too long for things to be in place naturally, I perfer to make things happen.
Well...I suppose as all romance goes, the setting got to be romantic....it can be anywhere....from the cinema, to the carpark, from your home to the MRT, it is a matter of creating that moment. You should attempt to at least plan where you want to go, you should know where would be romantic for the 2 of you, that I shall not discuss further.
Again...as usual, the gaze is very important, for this is what I call the lining up for the kiss (as in all airplane landings there has to be a lining up) If you are looking into each others eyes, your mouth is most probably in the correct direction. Dun look too long, for it might just be too intense for her and she might back off. Something like 3-5 secs is enough anything more would be a waste of time.
Breathing, yes breathing is very important, have you not notice that on the big screen, breathing heavily means that something exciting is going to happen? Well take it as a way to tell her that you are ready and that you want to kiss. If she reacts the same way as you are it is most probably a nod. Else show further signs....like slightly parting of your lips....no darting tongue though....not yet. Note that piror to this action, you should not take any garlic and some oral deorderant would be useful. *psst psst*
Hold her, if you like you can hold her by the waist, this position allows you to control the timing of the kiss, you can pull her closer if it is intense enough, and pull her away if you need some fresh air. Of course you can also lead her to the bed, but that would be another lesson all together. If you feel uncomfortable being in such close proximity, you can lift her chin lightly with your fingers gently, and lean forward to initiate the lip sealing. Note that you are not suppose to squezze her cheeks to pucker her lips, imagine her doing it to you, it would be most uncomfortable, what more, you are restriciting her tongue from achieving full lenght and flexibility. Of course there are many other position, just use what is most comfortable for yourself and her, the above are just suggestions.
For kissing techniques please refer to Frech kissing 101 as provided by the link above.
Disclaimer - Note that the above is written solely on one's personal experience and not the view of the general public. Any injuries, physical, mental, spiritual and egoistical will not be beaedr by the writer. You are allowed to use this as reference, but it will on ly stop there. If it does not work for you, it just means that you are ugly. Thank You.
" You know what...? I HAPPENS to be looking for a practice partner TOO...? ~WAHAhahaha... 