My life
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Hi, some of u might remember me. I posted for awhile and stopped coz was not really interested but I need to tell someone abt what's on my mind.
Ok let's start with the following link:
http://luck_for_you.852.net/love1437/
Its a rather long text but be patient coz its damn meaningful. I'm one who hate reading especially chinese but I read it.
It was sent to be by someone, let's just call her Eve. Here it goes;
Eve was my ex-gf. Honestly I dunno why I dumped her. That was the damnest thing I ever did. I dun wanna say I regret now coz there is really nothing I could be doing anyway. Been in touch with her again late. She's in UK now and has a bf. I have a gf that loves me too. Although the few chats that we have we just for catching up and rather platonic kind of relationship but I keep it from my gf. Not sure abt her though. Anyway....
So one fine day she sent my the above url via email. I read it and damn! Is that what's on her mind? Every word in it spells out my thoughts. We discussed abt the content via icq and we shared some common thoughts. And it makes me wander. She definitely still has a soft spot for me. I am guessing. Guessing if she still loves me but can't forgive what I did to her in the past. Guessing if she would be happier without me and have totally forgotten abt our past. and just be firends. I'm guessing constantly but......
even if I know that she still loves me, SO? What can I confes to her? That I still love her too? NO! What abt my current gf? I could just follow my heart and dump her. But no, I dun want to make the same mistake twice. I should be contented. But at the same time I'm selfish too. I want to know that Eve still loves me. In fact deep don inside I know she does. I want to hear it from her but I know she will hurt if she confess coz she know that we can never be together again. Therefore she may choose to deny.
HOW? Love to hear some comments. Especially joho! God damn I miss joho. -
You don't know why you dump her. GOod heavens!!! Good grief!!! -
No response? ok i know its a bit too much to read. but please keep the comments flowing...........
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for some reason, i seem to be reply to my own post. how sad!
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When you dump her for no reasons, many a times - if all she did was to do try to win you back, perhaps today would be a different scenario altogether. (Personal similiar experience, well, on my part that is, when I was naive and youngOriginally posted by froggie:Hi, some of u might remember me. I posted for awhile and stopped coz was not really interested but I need to tell someone abt what's on my mind.
Ok let's start with the following link:
http://luck_for_you.852.net/love1437/
Its a rather long text but be patient coz its damn meaningful. I'm one who hate reading especially chinese but I read it.
It was sent to be by someone, let's just call her Eve. Here it goes;
Eve was my ex-gf. Honestly I dunno why I dumped her. That was the damnest thing I ever did. I dun wanna say I regret now coz there is really nothing I could be doing anyway. Been in touch with her again late. She's in UK now and has a bf. I have a gf that loves me too. Although the few chats that we have we just for catching up and rather platonic kind of relationship but I keep it from my gf. Not sure abt her though. Anyway....
So one fine day she sent my the above url via email. I read it and damn! Is that what's on her mind? Every word in it spells out my thoughts. We discussed abt the content via icq and we shared some common thoughts. And it makes me wander. She definitely still has a soft spot for me. I am guessing. Guessing if she still loves me but can't forgive what I did to her in the past. Guessing if she would be happier without me and have totally forgotten abt our past. and just be firends. I'm guessing constantly but......
even if I know that she still loves me, SO? What can I confes to her? That I still love her too? NO! What abt my current gf? I could just follow my heart and dump her. But no, I dun want to make the same mistake twice. I should be contented. But at the same time I'm selfish too. I want to know that Eve still loves me. In fact deep don inside I know she does. I want to hear it from her but I know she will hurt if she confess coz she know that we can never be together again. Therefore she may choose to deny.
HOW? Love to hear some comments. Especially joho! God damn I miss joho.
You kept this little relationship platonic and you often ponder over what would be the situations like *IF* in the first place, you didn't dump her and held onto the relationship. (Correct me if I am wrong) Fate and destiny has made you both come together and leave separately to grow individually. You have your wonderful gf and she, her loving bf - the choices the both of you have chosen, you have to be responsible.
So you want to know whether she has feelings for you. Even if she has, or doesn't - does it really matters? If it was to fill the curiousity in you or to boost your ego - in reality, you are walking back to the original route you once walked. It has been years isn't it? Since the time when the both of you went on your own ways - Many a times, things are better to be left as it is.
She could have liking for you because she once did loved you. There will always be a crack on the wall and you knew deep inside how to penatrate this flaw in her fortification - but seriously speaking, even if you did realise she fancy you, etc - what can you do with it? Nothing... because you said yourself you don't want to repeat this mistake again.
So what's is there to ask? What's there to seek in her?
You wanted to maintain platonic... you sure nothing else is in the picture? - Don't have to answer me... cause in the end, you only have yourself to answer.
When you did made a mistake in the past, and did moved on - don't look back. Because if you did, all the days you spend moving forward will come to a total halt and into the drain.
You can like someone, but you dont have to be with that person. This gift, is stored deep within yourself - as long as she is happy with her life, you must give her the blessing and not trying to take away this blessing. Because even if the both of you were to be together - what makes you think she or even you will be genuinely happy? Since she is happy with her life, you must allow her to.
A good friend that is... last much longer than any lovers on average. At the very least, beside you, there is still this lady around to care and love - your gf. Do think about this from her POV - don't make her the second Eve.
Cheers -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
I guess u have a point there. I know that I should leave her to liv her life and move on to live mind. I guess that's why she sent me that url. Even though we are not together now, we both should be grateful that there is always 'someone else' that is thinking of u. But thinking abt it, isn't that being hypocritical. We both have a gf but we both have someone else special in our heart though we choose to keep it platonic. how contridictingis that?
When you dump her for no reasons, many a times - if all she did was to do try to win you back, perhaps today would be a different scenario altogether. (Personal similiar experience, well, on my part that is, when I was naive and young
You kept this little relationship platonic and you often ponder over what would be the situations like *IF* in the first place, you didn't dump her and held onto the relationship. (Correct me if I am wrong) Fate and destiny has made you both come together and leave separately to grow individually. You have your wonderful gf and she, her loving bf - the choices the both of you have chosen, you have to be responsible.
So you want to know whether she has feelings for you. Even if she has, or doesn't - does it really matters? If it was to fill the curiousity in you or to boost your ego - in reality, you are walking back to the original route you once walked. It has been years isn't it? Since the time when the both of you went on your own ways - Many a times, things are better to be left as it is.
She could have liking for you because she once did loved you. There will always be a crack on the wall and you knew deep inside how to penatrate this flaw in her fortification - but seriously speaking, even if you did realise she fancy you, etc - what can you do with it? Nothing... because you said yourself you don't want to repeat this mistake again.
So what's is there to ask? What's there to seek in her?
You wanted to maintain platonic... you sure nothing else is in the picture? - Don't have to answer me... cause in the end, you only have yourself to answer.
When you did made a mistake in the past, and did moved on - don't look back. Because if you did, all the days you spend moving forward will come to a total halt and into the drain.
You can like someone, but you [b]dont have to be with that person. This gift, is stored deep within yourself - as long as she is happy with her life, you must give her the blessing and not trying to take away this blessing. Because even if the both of you were to be together - what makes you think she or even you will be genuinely happy? Since she is happy with her life, you must allow her to.
A good friend that is... last much longer than any lovers on average. At the very least, beside you, there is still this lady around to care and love - your gf. Do think about this from her POV - don't make her the second Eve.
Cheers
[/b]
Aiyah, whatever it is, there is nothing I can do or will do. But I still want to know the truth. -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
Submitted twice accidentally. oopsssssss
When you dump her for no reasons, many a times - if all she did was to do try to win you back, perhaps today would be a different scenario altogether. (Personal similiar experience, well, on my part that is, when I was naive and young
You kept this little relationship platonic and you often ponder over what would be the situations like *IF* in the first place, you didn't dump her and held onto the relationship. (Correct me if I am wrong) Fate and destiny has made you both come together and leave separately to grow individually. You have your wonderful gf and she, her loving bf - the choices the both of you have chosen, you have to be responsible.
So you want to know whether she has feelings for you. Even if she has, or doesn't - does it really matters? If it was to fill the curiousity in you or to boost your ego - in reality, you are walking back to the original route you once walked. It has been years isn't it? Since the time when the both of you went on your own ways - Many a times, things are better to be left as it is.
She could have liking for you because she once did loved you. There will always be a crack on the wall and you knew deep inside how to penatrate this flaw in her fortification - but seriously speaking, even if you did realise she fancy you, etc - what can you do with it? Nothing... because you said yourself you don't want to repeat this mistake again.
So what's is there to ask? What's there to seek in her?
You wanted to maintain platonic... you sure nothing else is in the picture? - Don't have to answer me... cause in the end, you only have yourself to answer.
When you did made a mistake in the past, and did moved on - don't look back. Because if you did, all the days you spend moving forward will come to a total halt and into the drain.
You can like someone, but you [b]dont have to be with that person. This gift, is stored deep within yourself - as long as she is happy with her life, you must give her the blessing and not trying to take away this blessing. Because even if the both of you were to be together - what makes you think she or even you will be genuinely happy? Since she is happy with her life, you must allow her to.
A good friend that is... last much longer than any lovers on average. At the very least, beside you, there is still this lady around to care and love - your gf. Do think about this from her POV - don't make her the second Eve.
Cheers
[/b] -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
Submitted twice accidentally. oopsssssss
When you dump her for no reasons, many a times - if all she did was to do try to win you back, perhaps today would be a different scenario altogether. (Personal similiar experience, well, on my part that is, when I was naive and young
You kept this little relationship platonic and you often ponder over what would be the situations like *IF* in the first place, you didn't dump her and held onto the relationship. (Correct me if I am wrong) Fate and destiny has made you both come together and leave separately to grow individually. You have your wonderful gf and she, her loving bf - the choices the both of you have chosen, you have to be responsible.
So you want to know whether she has feelings for you. Even if she has, or doesn't - does it really matters? If it was to fill the curiousity in you or to boost your ego - in reality, you are walking back to the original route you once walked. It has been years isn't it? Since the time when the both of you went on your own ways - Many a times, things are better to be left as it is.
She could have liking for you because she once did loved you. There will always be a crack on the wall and you knew deep inside how to penatrate this flaw in her fortification - but seriously speaking, even if you did realise she fancy you, etc - what can you do with it? Nothing... because you said yourself you don't want to repeat this mistake again.
So what's is there to ask? What's there to seek in her?
You wanted to maintain platonic... you sure nothing else is in the picture? - Don't have to answer me... cause in the end, you only have yourself to answer.
When you did made a mistake in the past, and did moved on - don't look back. Because if you did, all the days you spend moving forward will come to a total halt and into the drain.
You can like someone, but you [b]dont have to be with that person. This gift, is stored deep within yourself - as long as she is happy with her life, you must give her the blessing and not trying to take away this blessing. Because even if the both of you were to be together - what makes you think she or even you will be genuinely happy? Since she is happy with her life, you must allow her to.
A good friend that is... last much longer than any lovers on average. At the very least, beside you, there is still this lady around to care and love - your gf. Do think about this from her POV - don't make her the second Eve.
Cheers
[/b] -
Its not being hypocritical when you fancy someone else - because you can only love one person at one time. Liking is like lesser degree form of love, but not quite it.Originally posted by froggie:I guess u have a point there. I know that I should leave her to liv her life and move on to live mind. I guess that's why she sent me that url. Even though we are not together now, we both should be grateful that there is always 'someone else' that is thinking of u. But thinking abt it, isn't that being hypocritical. We both have a gf but we both have someone else special in our heart though we choose to keep it platonic. how contridictingis that?
Aiyah, whatever it is, there is nothing I can do or will do. But I still want to know the truth.
Chose to keep it platonic is the wisest choice among the horde of other options you could have on hand. Let me tell you, when you know the truth - be it whether she likes or not - from that moment onwards - things will be different. You both can admit to each other about your liking - then vow and swear that this relationship between you both would be platonic forever - you seriously think in reality that is going to work?
You want the risk over zero result, then go ahead. Anyway, even if you know, you also can't and won't do anything about it - so what for? Complication arises only if the both of you actually do something about it. Then it no longer involves two - it involves four.
Cheers -
Honestly, I'm just down right confuse. I dunno what I want in the first place. I have no idea what is on her mind at all. I guess I know what is the right thing to do but as human beings, if I could just do whatever that's right the I'll be called Siant liao. I guess we tend to follow the heart more than the brain. SighhhhhhhhhOriginally posted by Yunhaier:Its not being hypocritical when you fancy someone else - because you can only love one person at one time. Liking is like lesser degree form of love, but not quite it.
Chose to keep it platonic is the wisest choice among the horde of other options you could have on hand. Let me tell you, when you know the truth - be it whether she likes or not - from that moment onwards - things will be different. You both can admit to each other about your liking - then vow and swear that this relationship between you both would be platonic forever - you seriously think in reality that is going to work?
You want the risk over zero result, then go ahead. Anyway, even if you know, you also can't and won't do anything about it - so what for? Complication arises only if the both of you actually do something about it. Then it no longer involves two - it involves four.
Cheers -
Hello brudder!
You know I can't read chinese to save my life, but i believe I can still get the gyst of it without reading that passage.
First off, don't miss me, I'm always here. Maybe not always physically becos I'm always butterflying, but a friend in your heart is worth more than a million acquaintances beside you. I do have to apologise that I've haven't been physically around, and maybe that's what compelled you to post here, which really surprised me. Nvm, nothing can't be solved over a square table and 148 tiles!!
Next, I would like to let you know that I mostly agree with Yunhaier on this topic. It would be the same humble advice that I would be giving you had he not posted above.
However, I wanna add a few things. Actually, I want to ask you a question.
Do you think that when a man is happy in a relationship, he would contemplate seeing another woman? I'm not referring to an act of lust, where it might just be sexual, a fleeting relationship. I'm referring to letting himself fall in love with another woman, be it his ex, or another girl.
I believe to answer this question, you have to search deep and ask yourself if you are a greedy person. Are you a "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence person"? Are you a "what if" person? You are not contented with what you have?
From personal experience, when I was in love, and you knew how in love I was with "her", I NEVER laid eyes on another woman in that way (lovingly). I felt so empowered by the fact that as a man, I can finally tell myself this is the most faithful I can ever be to a woman. You also know that before her, I was a bastard to my previous gfs.
Basically she managed to capture me, so much so that no other woman could even come close, and she definitely didn't do it with a chain and lock! I tell you what, I even surprised myself. No sh[/i]it.
I do have to tell you that this of course did not happen instantly. It took time and effort to build this, I dunno what you call it, "revelation" that you won't look at another woman, that you won't ask yourself "what if", that you won't look on the other side of the fence. But once you reach there, you will know.
All this is from personal experience. I don't know if every guy out there can have the privilege of feeling that kind of peace, but I do know it exists. I wish that kind of peace for you too, my friend.
You haven't been with your present gf all that long. And yes, time isn't the only factor when "rating" the level of a relationship. However, it seems you haven't reached that stage yet. Whether you will or not, nobody knows, but at least now you know what you want to strive for. If you try and try but don't seem to be able to get Eve out of your head, then maybe the present one is not for you. I'm talking at PEACE with yourself, dude, this has nothing to do with anyone else, definitely not the girls in question.
I'm not chastising you for doing something wrong. Hell, I went through what you did so many times with different girls. But since I went through that so-called revelation with her, I now know that if there is a doubt about your relationship with any girl (in this case, your feelings for your ex is affecting you), it means that the relationship is not entirely stable yet. That's nothing to be scared of, we all have to go through this stage.
This may sound pretty abstract to some, and I'm not sure if I'm expressing myself the way I'd really like, but this is something to come to terms with PERSONALLY. You want to know that you'll treat her right, not because you have to, not because you should, not because you owe it to her, not because you want to, but because it's the NATURAL thing to do. There is no OTHER way you'd have it, then to love her, and her only. I tell you, this may be good news to the girl you love, but I say, it's even better news for you. You would have sorted it out! You would know what you want!
Of course things can shatter, like it did for me, but that's another story. I'm focusing on YOU, brother, not them, or her. It's not about the outcome with your present gf, it's the level of commitment that you are able to give to your woman. This woman may or may not be your present gf. Who knows?
So after all that bullshi[/i]t, let me answer my own question:
If a man is truly happy in a relationship, would he contemplate seeing another woman?
No way in hell.
So now, you either strive for what I mentioned above, or you re-assess the situation with your present gf, as in ask yourself, "Is she the right one?" From what I can see, I think you should take the first choice, since your relationship with her is still pretty "young" and it would be wise to give it more time.
One thing is for sure lar, no matter what you do, I'm gonna kick your ass on the mj table tomorrow! Two words: PAY UP!
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haiz.. guys are juz like tat... dun noe how to appreciate...
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Not true what...?Originally posted by toothie:haiz.. guys are juz like tat... dun noe how to appreciate... I knows how to APPRECIATES...? $$$... -
Really appreciate all that from joho. Thanks Bro! Dun worry I won't spare u on the sqaure table just bcoz u gave some serious advise here.
Ok back the question. Is she the one I really love? Do I want to give it more time? Is it just a natural thing to happen in a young relationship? To still be attracted to another woman? Is it ego? Is it whatever u want to call it? To be fair to me, first of all, let me describe how I feel about Eve.
I let her down. But I do love her. Yes, I dump her but I do love her. She was devastated bcoz of me. Toke her awhile to pick herself up. Didn't contact each other for a couple of years. We actually got back together again two years later after we broke off. That was a mistake. Bad one! Coz I was 2 timing her. Yeah call me a bastard. I caused her more hurt when I dump her again. Now, we got back together, that was wrong for me. BUT, she knew I was attached then. I did not cheat on her. But I know, nevertheless, I was wrong.
So we decided to stop seeing each other. She wasuper depress then. Took her really long to pick herself up again. We met again after a long time and were just friends. Catch up a bit. It was just that one time we met for coffee and that was it. We never see each other again until now. I guess it took her alot of courage to see me again but I think she found out that she couldn't bear the sight of me and she decided that she won't see me again.
Subsequently we kept in touch thru sms and email. Rarely talk on the phone really. I decided that she would be happier without me and I kept myself away from her. She declared that we could never be together again after what we had gone thru. Well, in a way I agree with her. So we kept our relationship platonic, even when she knew that I was single at one stage.
Well, if u ask me why am I feeling this way now. I will tell u that I'm not willing to accept the fact that I fucked up the relationship with her. Wo bo gan xin! Maybe I still want to make it up to her. But honestly, if she would be happy that we keep our relationship this way, yeah, I would be happy too. I SWEAR! I just want her to be happy. Otherwise I would gladly disappear from her life. No sms, no emails, no call, nothing at all.
Now as for my present gf. To be continue................
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Waa... all the replies so long one.
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yoZ froggerations..
i'm still here.. waiting for ur continuation leh.. pple always say i butt in and interrupt.. so i'm gonna wait patiently this time.. eheh
btw i kinda need that chinese passage translated ... -
i mean relationshipOriginally posted by Devil1976:Not true what...? I knows how to APPRECIATES...? $$$... -
Oh, ok... :XOriginally posted by toothie:i mean relationship -
mi x2Originally posted by Devil1976:Not true what...? I knows how to APPRECIATES...? $$$... 
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i am a gentleman
Check for your smiley here -
It has been hell of a long since anyone reply longer than me relating to love problems. Joho jia you! Essay king!Originally posted by MooKu:Waa... all the replies so long one. -
ok guys sorry for not posting and continuating my life story. honestly still not much of inspirations. So u guys got to be a little patient and hang in there ok? I'll be back!
