Relationship Guide
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For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is: In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects...Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the point system.
Simple Duties:
You make the bed..+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pllows..0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets..-1
You leave the toilet seat up..-5
You leave the toilet lid down..-10 after the lights are out..-30
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty..0
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex..-1
When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom..-2
You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with wings..+5
But return with beer ..-5
You check out a suspicious noise at night ...0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing..0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something..+5
You pummel it with a six iron..+10
It's her father..-10
Social Engagements:
You stay by her side the entire party..0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy..-2
Named Lucy..-4
Lucy is a dancer..-6
Lucy has implants..-8
Her Birthday:
You take her out to dinner..0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar ......+1
Okay, it is a sports bar..-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night..-3
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team..-10
A Night Out With The Boys:
Go out with a pal ..-5
And the pal is happily married ..-4
Or frighteningly single ..-7
And he drives a van / pick-up..-10
With a personalized license plate (S 3 X) ..-15
A Night Out:
You take her to a movie..+2
You take her to a movie she likes..+4
You take her to a movie you hate..+6
You take her to a movie you like..-2
It's called Two Moon Juction..-3
Which features sex and adultery..-9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans .........-15
Your Physique:
You develop a noticeable potbelly..-15
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it....+10
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts ..-30
You say "I don't give a damn because you have one too"...-800
The Big Question:
She asks, "Do I look fat?" ..-5
You hesitate in responding..-10
You reply, "Where?"..-35
Communication:
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression ..0
When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes..+5
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV..+10
She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep..-20
the list goes on......... -
MUAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAOriginally posted by cwill:You say "I don't give a damn because you have one too"...-800
MUAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA
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MUAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA
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i read this b4... but shi[/i]t it was good reading it again...
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hahahaha!!! Just for laugh, is great that you enjoy reading it.....I'm full of rubbish..no offence!!!!Originally posted by jOhO:MUAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA
MUAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA
MUAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA
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i read this b4... but shi[/i]t it was good reading it again... 
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hahahahhaa.
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hahahaah cool sia
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hehehehe.................
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For all you ladies out there......
Here is a guide to the point system.
Simple Duties:
You make the bed..+10
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets..+50
You wash the dishes..+10
You leave the toilet seat up..+20
You complain about doing any of the above.. GAME OVER
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty..+10
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex..+20
You go out to buy him beer ..+50
You complain about any of the above.. GAME OVER
Social Engagements:
You dress up really sexily..+5
You stay by his side the entire party..+10
You stay by his side and make out with him the entire party..+500
You stay by his side, then leave to chat with a "close guy friend".. - GAME OVER
Named Kennie..GAME OVER
Kennie is blue-eyed and hunky..GAME OVER
Kennie looks gay, but brought a friend named Lucy..+200
His Birthday:
You take him to dinner..+10
You take him to dinner and you're dressed really sexily..+50
You give him a dynamite blowjob..+100
You give him a dynamite blowjob while you're still at the restaurant..+1,000,000
You both get caught and thrown into jail for indecent behaviour..GAME OVER
A Night Out With The Gals:
Go out with a gal pal ..0
And the gal pal is happily married ..0
Gal pal is bi..+500
Gal pal is lesbian..GAME OVER
A Night Out:
You follow him to a movie..+5
You follow him to a movie and you're dressed sexily..+50
You give him a dynamite blowjob in the theatre..+500,000
You miss him in the dark and give the other schmuck a blowjob instead..GAME OVER
Your Physical Attributes:
You get your boobs done..+500
You take him lingerie shopping after you get your boobs done....+1,000
You cut your lovely long hair really short..GAME OVER
The Question(s):
You ask, "Do I look fat?" ..-2,000
You ask "What shoes do you think goes with this outfit?"...-5,000
You actually expect an answer..GAME OVER
Communication:
When he wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression ..+1,000
When he wants to talk, you listen, and massage his whole body..+5,000
You listen for as long as he talks and give him a dynamite blowjob at the same time..+10,000
You tell him what his problem is and provide a solution..GAME OVER
You made him sleep in the toilet? Haha! Wait he minus off marks from u...be afraid, be very afraid...
Just for laugh........ -
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Originally posted by cwill:
For all you ladies out there......
Here is a guide to the point system.
[b]Simple Duties:
You make the bed..+10
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets..+50
You wash the dishes..+10
You leave the toilet seat up..+20
You complain about doing any of the above.. GAME OVER
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty..+10
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex..+20
You go out to buy him beer ..+50
You complain about any of the above.. GAME OVER
Social Engagements:
You dress up really sexily..+5
You stay by his side the entire party..+10
You stay by his side and make out with him the entire party..+500
You stay by his side, then leave to chat with a "close guy friend".. - GAME OVER
Named Kennie..GAME OVER
Kennie is blue-eyed and hunky..GAME OVER
Kennie looks gay, but brought a friend named Lucy..+200
His Birthday:
You take him to dinner..+10
You take him to dinner and you're dressed really sexily..+50
You give him a dynamite blowjob..+100
You give him a dynamite blowjob while you're still at the restaurant..+1,000,000
You both get caught and thrown into jail for indecent behaviour..GAME OVER
A Night Out With The Gals:
Go out with a gal pal ..0
And the gal pal is happily married ..0
Gal pal is bi..+500
Gal pal is lesbian..GAME OVER
A Night Out:
You follow him to a movie..+5
You follow him to a movie and you're dressed sexily..+50
You give him a dynamite blowjob in the theatre..+500,000
You miss him in the dark and give the other schmuck a blowjob instead..GAME OVER
Your Physical Attributes:
You get your boobs done..+500
You take him lingerie shopping after you get your boobs done....+1,000
You cut your lovely long hair really short..GAME OVER
The Question(s):
You ask, "Do I look fat?" ..-2,000
You ask "What shoes do you think goes with this outfit?"...-5,000
You actually expect an answer..GAME OVER
Communication:
When he wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression ..+1,000
When he wants to talk, you listen, and massage his whole body..+5,000
You listen for as long as he talks and give him a dynamite blowjob at the same time..+10,000
You tell him what his problem is and provide a solution..GAME OVER
You made him sleep in the toilet? Haha! Wait he minus off marks from u...be afraid, be very afraid...
Just for laugh........
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I remember this from a book called Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. -
Yap correct!!!!Originally posted by Parka: I remember this from a book called Men are from Mars, women are from Venus.