My daughter goes to her grandma's house too often!
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okay this is troubling me.... I have a daughter who's currently studying in secondary school and most of the time when she finishes school, she'll go to her grandma, my husband's mother's place instead of coming home... this is making me think that she regards her grandma's place more home-like than our own house. possibly, this happened because i used to leave her at her grandma's place during her primary school days as it was very near her primary school.
I tried to ask her nicely to come home, after all i'm her mother and she is supposed to do that. however, she refuses to come back and if forced to do so, she will throw tantrum and give me cold shoulders.what should i do to make her come back without hurting both she and her grandma's feelings?
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Thats obviously gonna happen, you havent seen cases where kids are more attatched to their maids than parents. Well be glad its grandma not other stranger.
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自己人的醋也��
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Originally posted by BlueBlack Pie:
自己人的醋也��
Yah lor. -
Be more patient with your kid, quarelling will only lead to strain relationships.
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hmmm i dun think its about jealousy but the issue of family bonding, i know she's going through adolescence and this is a crucial period and i need to teach her the correct set of values, so that she does not go astray. i'm not worried about her being too close to her grandma, but i do think that grandma is being too lenient on her and she might be put under bad influence by her peers
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ä½ å¾ˆé¥¿ meh?
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grandma got how many years to be with grandchildren only? give and take la.. when ur girl grow up u think she dun noe u then is her mother meh.. kinship damn complicated one ok
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Originally posted by BlueBlack Pie:
grandma got how many years to be with grandchildren only? give and take la.. when ur girl grow up u think she dun noe u then is her mother meh.. kinship damn complicated one ok
yes i'm not jealous but just worried that she'll be misled and spoilt...
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grandma's place only what.. what if its YOUR mum's place, would you be having the same response?? Is your relationship with your mother in law not very good and you feel that your mother in law may bad mouthed you in front of your child and thus causes further strains to your relationship with your daughter??
Remember its only the grandma that she is always visiting. Wait till she starts going to her bf house fequently, coming back late with untidy hair and clothes, then you will be more morE moRE mORE MORE troubled..
Sometimes, kids during this adolescent stage is very hard to teach them. They tend to be rebellious and its only when they grow up and think back, then they will realise that they have been stupid in the past.
Find a time, and talk to your girl nicely, and if possible involve your husband as well.
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Originally posted by Elves320:
yes i'm not jealous but just worried that she'll be misled and spoilt...
I don't think you should be worried at all. After all, she's the same person who brought up your husband.
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Originally posted by BlueBlack Pie:
自己人的醋也��
what is wrong with that?
children are supposed to stay with their parents, not grandparents.
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Why are people here over-reacting?
TS I think you should talk to your mother in law about this. Find out what your kid does while she's over there. In fact, you can even ask your mother-in-law to supervise your kid and make sure she's doing her homework and stuff.
And hor....be polite when you're talking about this...try not to sound demanding no matter how worried you are....dun strain your ties over this.
Meanwhile maybe you can organise some parties or etc and invite your in laws over. Foster family ties.
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Hmm
maybe ur daughter gt some trouble and need someone to tok
maybe grandmother is her listening ear?
Dun worry lar -
What a blessing.....you should really start to worry if she didn't go to her grandmother's house and neither is she at home.....
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I don't see any issues with being with her grandmother. She was raised and looked after by her since primary school.
It's not surprising to see that she has emotional attachments to that place, after all, it's the place that she spent the most of her child hood at.
Try thinking it in another way, at least she's with her grandparents, not hanging out with bad company - who may smoke, drink, sniff glue ....
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Because hor.. Ah ma's house is cozy and got goh za wei. Got sense of belonging. Becoz ah ma very shiong your ah girl. It is good actually. When you old liao your daughter will also view you like she is to her Ah ma now. Don't think so much. Old people need accompany also.
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????u live in tampines and granny lives in woodlands????must be tough.
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haiz, good if the grandkids were to visit me more often.
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Originally posted by Clivebenss:
haiz, good if the grandkids were to visit me more often.
lolpoor ah gong
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Originally posted by Elves320:
yes i'm not jealous but just worried that she'll be misled and spoilt...
I don't think she will be misled as compared to people who engage in bad company and smoke, have underage sex.
Spoilt, well, it depends on your mother in law, it's more of protect than spoiling her.
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You must be quite evil... Thats why your daughter keep going to grandma house to siam away from you.
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i was brought up by my grandmother since i was very young. my parents will leave me there from monday to friday and "collect" me over the weekends.
later when i'm in upper primary school, i will then go home every evening when my mum finish work and fetch me home from grandma's until sec 1 when of course, adolescence sets in in the later years...
today, i'm close to my parents and still close to my grandma... but now with a family of my own i don't visit her that often... my bad... sigh, i'm sorry grandma... love you still, lots!
TS, i think your worries are quite unfounded... grandma always taught me to love my parents more and to not "torture" them with my antics and she implanted the filial piety mindset in me since young. she also shared my father's history with me and i know how hard his life has been since young. with that perspective, i understand my father more and why he does things this way, that way... i must say learning from grandparents are virtues from a different era which is lacking in today's society. of course not all she taught could be relevant in today's context but if your daughter absorb only the positives from her grandmother, all is not so bad afterall.
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TS,
Change the way of your Parenting style...
Start by going to your inlaw hosue often and after dinner come back home with your daughter.....Get that Gees.
Also your daughter is a Teen she is giving you message day 2 day.....so maybe you might want to change from controling parent to becoming "Her Friend"
Start to come down to her level and move away from controling parent. Stop judging her......She maybe seeking Space from your controlling style. but at the same time she might be seeking affection that she is not getting from you but grandmother.
Have you ever had a "Girl Time out" alone with your Daughter / s
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