I've no idea why, but I always get inspiration when I'm feeling particularly emo. Heh. Yeah, so this is one of the poems I wrote while I was in a rather dark mood. Just felt like sharing, since just about no one visits the blog I post my stuff on. (The words at the bottom are in German, so you can go translate if you want.)
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"Anyone. Anyone but you."
That was what she told me the other day.
I can't say it was a shock;
I'd expected it long ago.
It was just a simple question.
"Would you like me? Accept me as a partner?"
She had giggled and blushed.
"Aw. I'd like anyone. Anyone. Anyone but you."
I suppose I'd known it long ago. Why hope for something impossible?
She'd never be in love with me. She'd never be with me.
"You're too good a friend. I don't want to lose you."
Yeah. She's probably right about that.
The curse of friendship. The curse of being nice to her.
I'll never be able to call her "mine", and I will never be "hers".
She's got a boyfriend. She's got her own life to live.
A happy life. A life without tragedy.
It has to be me. The problem. The useless one.
She's so perfect. She's too good for me.
She's got everything she needs. She's everything I can never be.
She's too good for me. She's too good for me.
I'm not worthy of her. I'm not adequate.
She's got her own life to live. Mine is not hers to worry.
To watch her be happy forever, without me in the picture.
To see her in another guy's arms, beautiful, smiling and full of grace.
And now I start thinking "What should I do?"
I don't steal. I don't rob. Do I really want her?
Should I stay and fight? Should I disappear from her life?
What should I do?
"Don't worry, man, you'll get one," some tell me.
"Don't think so much about it," others say.
But all I hear; all I shall ever hear is
"Anyone but you."
Nie meines, weil ich zu spaet und zu schwach bin. Ich bin ihr nicht wert.