the crush that never went away
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it started in primary 3.
we were classmates since the start of the year but i only noticed him after one math lesson. we were having a friendly inter-group math quiz and he lost our group the winning point. he was so distraught by it that he went to the back of the class and started crying. i was sitted at the back of the class and i saw him. thats when i started liking him.
i thought it would just be a short crush. i didnt know it just wouldnt go away. the next year, he shifted and so like me, had to take the bus and the train to and from school. and everyday, i would see him on my way to and from school but we never got to travel together. i was a very shy kid and i never got to talk to him. of course, this crush was kept in the depths of my heart.
sometimes during class, i would sneak glances at him from the other side of the classroom. and whenever i caught his eye, i would jump in shock and look quickly away. i still remember almost every instance where i got a chance to interact with him in some small way or another. i even remember some conversations i had with him before back in those days.
of course, during the puberty years, i had other crushes on other guys. the things is, these other crushes would fade away with time and i would find myself still liking him as before. how should i describe it? its like hes the one, and the others are just eye candies. the feeling comes and goes and comes back again but essentially its still there.
in secondary school, i lost touch with him for 4 years. no sight or sound of him at all. there were still eye candies now and then but they came and go. crushes here and there. but at the end of the day, i realised that i still thought of him and i really really missed him.
i seriously dont know if it was fate or not but we ended up in the same jc. sometimes i wished we didnt, because it just made me like him even more, now that i could see him almost everyday. prolly if he were in another jc, i would just forget about him altogether. or at least, i wont be pining for him, the feeling of liking him wont be so strong. he almost went to another jc, anyway. i find myself sneaking glances at him in school, conscious of myself. every time i get to talk to him would be moments i relished.
and he ended up joining the same cca as me. if not for one different subject, i would have ended up in the same class as him too.
these feelings of affection has been going on for what, 8 years? and its still one sided, i highly suspect, since i dont know if he reciprocates my feelings. its like a big secret, weighing down on my heart all these years.
the thing is, hes darn cute, many other girls like him too, its this way since primary school and i know i have no right to fight for him or even wish of anything that may happen. imjust thankful that i have at least some chances of seeing him more often, that i can have a more vivid picture of his face in my mind.
my sis told me its just a habit. that i may not really like him after all but its just a bad habit that ive become accustomed to.
i dont know.
this is just a story im sharing with. this is the the story of my crush, the crush that never went away -
cham siong... do paragraphing leh..
whole chunk of words.. who will read? -
You da bor char bor?
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Don't regret life.
Just tell him whatever you need...
Chances don't just keep coming...
Live life without regret... -
k la k laOriginally posted by browniebaobao:cham siong... do paragraphing leh..
whole chunk of words.. who will read?
got paragraphing but never leave a line
better? -
k la k laOriginally posted by browniebaobao:cham siong... do paragraphing leh..
whole chunk of words.. who will read?
got paragraphing but never leave a line
better? -
like that very cham leh. bottle up 8 years. r u two like close friends now?
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Nothing wrong for a girl to tell a guy she likes him......but do it gently by making your presence felt, then become like a sister to him, then a friend......
Move slowly, but move....ok? '\
' -
not really, more like the hi-bye kind of friends. and we seldom talk also.Originally posted by qrex:like that very cham leh. bottle up 8 years. r u two like close friends now?
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haha ok..Originally posted by Dr Who:Nothing wrong for a girl to tell a guy she likes him......but do it gently by making your presence felt, then become like a sister to him, then a friend......
Move slowly, but move....ok? '\'
the thing is, im scared of confessing, scared of rejection and most of all im also unsure of my own feelings. ill only confess if im sure that he likes me too otherwise ill just keep it to myself
and im confused because, like what my sis says, if its a habit that i like him, then i dont really like him do i? its like im liking him only because there is no one for me to like yet. ahhh i dont know. sometimes i feel like i dont like him anymore, yet sometimes i pin for him like crazyyy
i dont knowwww -
thats why i dont know if its fate or coincidence between me and himOriginally posted by popikachu:Don't regret life.
Just tell him whatever you need...
Chances don't just keep coming...
Live life without regret... -
For the part in red, how are you ever going to find out at the rate you're going? That, in turn, would just fuel your other courses of action to maintain the present status quo.Originally posted by jaydunkfull:haha ok..
the thing is, im scared of confessing, scared of rejection and most of all im also unsure of my own feelings. ill only confess if im sure that he likes me too otherwise ill just keep it to myself
and im confused because, like what my sis says, if its a habit that i like him, then i dont really like him do i? its like im liking him only because there is no one for me to like yet. ahhh i dont know. sometimes i feel like i dont like him anymore, yet sometimes i pin for him like crazyyy
i dont knowwww
I'm afraid the fear of rejection, failure and trying are but excuses to fuel your brand of defensive reasonings and continue to live in self-denial (best demonstrated by the times you feel like you don't like him).
Some opportunities never come knocking twice and you probably know what needs to be done. It's just a matter of summoning the courage to do what you think is necessary. Surely, pining for someone after 8 years can't possibly be just sheer coincidence, eh? -
yes, much better, thanks girl.
wait till u grow older and look back..
u will realize that is not love.. and it's not that hard to get over him.
be frens with him for now lah.. enjoy these few yrs being schoolmates.
i will encourage u to confess to him also.. bcos it has been 8 long years.. he doesn't know of your feelings for him.. wait till u graduate le then u will ask yourself why din u tell him.. dun live to regret lor.. even if he rejects u, at least u can move on earlier. -
ya actually sometimes i also scold myself why so silly keep thinking of him, cos next time when i look back, ( perhaps when i got over him) i would have realised how much time and heartache ive wasted. but for now, i really cant help feeling this way.Originally posted by browniebaobao:yes, much better, thanks girl.
wait till u grow older and look back..
u will realize that is not love.. and it's not that hard to get over him.
be frens with him for now lah.. enjoy these few yrs being schoolmates.
i will encourage u to confess to him also.. bcos it has been 8 long years.. he doesn't know of your feelings for him.. wait till u graduate le then u will ask yourself why din u tell him.. dun live to regret lor.. even if he rejects u, at least u can move on earlier.
im thinking, ill tell him next year, if by then, i havent gotten over him, cos by then, he'll be going into the army and we're all leaving school, so incase of any awkwardness, its easier to avoid.
im just sad to say, that we're actually just acquaintances for now, maybe the area after acquaintances, but before friends... -
wow, maybe fated....why not give it a try
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a friend told me this b4.. if its fated, u guys will be together at the end of the day...
i duno how true is tt.. cos i nvr really believed in fate.. ayes...
but yea, since u guys are in the same cca it makes it even better for utwo to talk and interact.. why not try doing htat first and get to know him better? -
When you do tell him you like him don't mention the part about you starting to like him while he was standing at the back of the class and crying about losing a maths quiz
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haha i probably wontOriginally posted by Demonight:When you do tell him you like him don't mention the part about you starting to like him while he was standing at the back of the class and crying about losing a maths quiz