*!~ Joke of the day ~!*
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WHY YOU SHOULD NOT END A SENTENCE WITH A PREPOSITION.
Harry is getting along in years and finds that he is unable to perform
sexually. He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but
nothing seems to work. So the doctor refers him to an American Indian
medicine man.
The medicine man says, "I can cure this." With that said, he throws a
white powder in a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue
smoke.
Then he says, "This is powerful medicine but you can only use it once a
year. All you have to do is say '123,' and it shall rise for as long as
you wish!"
The guy then asks, "What happens when it's over, and I don't want to
continue?"
The medicine man replies: "All you or your partner has to say is 1234,
and it will go down. But be warned: It will not work again for another
year."
Harry rushes home, anxious to try out his new powers and prowess.
That night he is ready to surprise his wife. He showers, shaves, and
puts on his most exotic shaving lotion and cologne. After he gets into
bed and is lying next to her, he says, "123" and suddenly he becomes
more aroused than anytime in his life, just as the medicine man had
promised.
His wife, who had been facing away from him, turns over and asks, "What
did you say 123 for?"
Now you know why you shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition........ -
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Originally posted by browniebaobao:I find Ah Beng jokes lame lah..but some of u here might like them.
Ah Beng's Business Venture
There were 4 Ah Bengs. They decided to start a business. They decided to start an auto garage. They bought the best of car servicing equipment and manpower. The 4 Ah Bengs waited that day for the car to arrive but no car entered their garage. They waited for 1 day,2 days, a week for the car to arrive but no car came to their garage. WHY? Because their garage was on the second floor.
After this failure they decided to try good old taxi driving. They bought a new London Cab & began to look for passengers. They drove past Orchard Road but nobody hailed their taxi. They went to Changi Airport yet nobody hailed their taxi.They even drove to Serangoon Road, even nobody hailed their taxi.In desperation they kept on driving all around Singapore but alas no one hailed their taxi. WHY? Because all the four Ah bengs were sitting in the taxi.
After the 4 Ah Bengs were very disappointed with their fate & decided to push their taxi into the sea. They started pushing their taxi. They push the whole day & were very exhausted but the taxi did not move even an inch.They decided to rest for a while & started to push again. The taxi just wouldn't move. WHY? Because 2 Ah Bengs were pushing the front & 2 from behind -
sian...i dont have jokes to share...
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It's not the fault of the student if he/she fails exams when the year has only 365 days.
Typical academic year for a student.
52 Sundays in a year which are rest days.
Balance 313 days.
Summer holidays 50 where weather is too hot & difficult to study
Balance 263 days
8hrs daily sleep means 122 days.
Balance 141 days
1 hr for daily playing (good for health) means15 days.
Balance 126 days.
2hrs daily 1 for food & other delicacies (chew properly & eat) means 30 days.
Balance 96 days.
1hr for talking (human is a social animal) means 15 days.
Balance 81 days.
Exam days per year at least 35 days.
Balance46 days
Quarterly, half yearly & festival holidays means 40 days.
Balance 6 days.
For sickness at least 3 days.
Balance 3 days.
Movies & functions at least 2 days.
Balance 1 day.
That 1 day is your birthday.
How can a student pass?? -
LOL...NICE 1....Originally posted by browniebaobao:It's not the fault of the student if he/she fails exams when the year has only 365 days.
Typical academic year for a student.
52 Sundays in a year which are rest days.
Balance 313 days.
Summer holidays 50 where weather is too hot & difficult to study
Balance 263 days
8hrs daily sleep means 122 days.
Balance 141 days
1 hr for daily playing (good for health) means15 days.
Balance 126 days.
2hrs daily 1 for food & other delicacies (chew properly & eat) means 30 days.
Balance 96 days.
1hr for talking (human is a social animal) means 15 days.
Balance 81 days.
Exam days per year at least 35 days.
Balance46 days
Quarterly, half yearly & festival holidays means 40 days.
Balance 6 days.
For sickness at least 3 days.
Balance 3 days.
Movies & functions at least 2 days.
Balance 1 day.
That 1 day is your birthday.
How can a student pass?? -
How to do a business...
Below is a story that teaches how to do business:
Father: "I want you to marry a girl of my choice."
Son: "I will choose my own bride!"
Father: "But the girl is Bill Gate's daughter."
Son: "Well, in that case...ok"
Next Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father: "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Father: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case...ok"
Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President: "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"
Father: "But this young man is Bill Gate's son-in-law."
President: "Ah, in that case...ok"
This is how business is done!!
Moral: Even If you have nothing, You can get Anything.
But your attitude should be positive. -
i only have business jokes...
quite funny but true...
-
A Professor at one of the IIM's (INDIA) was explaining
marketing concepts to the Students:-
1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:
I am very rich. Marry me!"
That's Direct Marketing
2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says:
He's very rich. Marry him."
That's Advertising
3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say:
Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me."
- That's Telemarketing
4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and
straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door(ofthe car)for her,
pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say:
By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?"
- That's Public Relations
5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:
You are very rich! Can you marry ! me?"
- That's Brand Recognition
6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:
I am very rich. Marry me!"
She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
That's Customer Feedback
7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:
I am very rich. Marry me!"
And she introduces you to her husband.
That's demand and supply gap
8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and
before you say anything, another person come and tell her:
"I'm rich. Will you marry me?"
and she goes with him
-That's competition eating into your market share
9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say:
I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. - That's
restriction
for entering new markets -
whoever came up with this is one hell of a guy guy/gal...
but also terribly bad with numbersOriginally posted by browniebaobao:It's not the fault of the student if he/she fails exams when the year has only 365 days.
Typical academic year for a student.
52 Sundays in a year which are rest days.
Balance 313 days.
Summer holidays 50 where weather is too hot & difficult to study
Balance 263 days
8hrs daily sleep means 122 days.
Balance 141 days
1 hr for daily playing (good for health) means15 days.
Balance 126 days.
2hrs daily 1 for food & other delicacies (chew properly & eat) means 30 days.
Balance 96 days.
1hr for talking (human is a social animal) means 15 days.
Balance 81 days.
Exam days per year at least 35 days.
Balance46 days
Quarterly, half yearly & festival holidays means 40 days.
Balance 6 days.
For sickness at least 3 days.
Balance 3 days.
Movies & functions at least 2 days.
Balance 1 day.
That 1 day is your birthday.
How can a student pass??