Love Remedies
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How to get over a bad break up?
If your heart is broken badly, if you want to heal the pain, first consider yourself as a drug addict.
You're probably wondering why it happened to you? Why you? After everything you have done?
Come on, nobody forced you to do all these things. Stop going round the bend, letting your brain roll and roll and roll, again.
You could have stopped your relationship long before.
Be honest, a few times you had signals that it was not working out. Why did you stay? Because you were addicted. The wind was just blowing too fast.
Now stop whining. Move your bottom. Get up & go back to the top. -
Be strong
You are not safe. Consider yourself like Missing in Action in enemy territory. This guide will serve you as a survival-kit. You are given a compass, a map, and a lighter to find your way in the night and get warm with a fire till you get back.
First of all, it's not your fault nor the pilot's or the team, the wind was just blowing too fast. By thinking so, you will stop negative energy and focus on your survival. Your mind carries you back in the past. You keep analyzing your mistakes. Your mind can accuse your partner, your relative or yourself for not having done the right thing at the right moment. But the only thing we want is for you to look ahead and come home.
Stop looking behind you, look ahead. Your energy is limited, so use it for coming back behind our lines. Full stop. Is that clear?
Now, you're strong. You're gonna fight! You'll see. It works!
"DON'T follow your instinct - and DON'T obey your heart"
Common sentences don't apply to you anymore because you left the common world. You're driving in a tunnel in fire with black smoke all around. Oxygen will be missing in a few minutes. Be aware of that. Common driving code doesn't apply to you anymore. Help yourself, and God will help you.
You were born to succeed in your love life. It will not be with that person. So get ready for the next one. -
Avoid loneliness
Every time you're on your own, you start thinking and wrecking your mind. Wash your brain. Think about Hawaii, planets, or whatever you like.
Get a visual trainer, and solid visual support, with a strong image. It could be the picture of a climber, a sportsman or famous person, somebody who faced difficulty and triumphed. You can get a poster, put it in your room, so that it kicks your blues in the morning or when you get back home. Or a small picture and you use it as a bookmark.
Avoid triggers
Stay away from romantic movies. Consider, it's like cheese when you're on a diet. Avoid anything which is not action or which leave your mind wander away.
Avoid places which bring back memories. Restaurants, streets, bars, districts. Avoid your common territory for a while. I remember a time when I was going to a park, and just getting to that park could make my stomach like a brick. Once there, I was wondering between 2 destinations. And I was undecided for 5, 10 minutes till the next cab. You tend to have special memories, you build up your own space, your own territory where you feel comfortable and good no matter what.
Avoid these moments, and all these factors which trigger your broken heart like an arrow in a bleeding wound. Avoid triggers like the plague.
Out of sight, out of mind. -
Be active
Have a physical activity once a day. If you're tired, just go walking for 10 minutes first. Then try 20 minutes.
Don't start to eat 1 chocolate bar every minute. The best way to get back in the tracks is to be competitive. Allow yourself, 1 week, no more than 7 days for food revenge. After that, become stronger and stronger.
You have to clear your system. Unhappiness comes because your system is delivering sad hormones over and over. There's a break in your good- mood system, and you have to repair it. The sooner the better. By exercising every day, you will clean your body and charge yourself in positive energy. When the balance is stabilized, you will get back your harmony. You will be able to be happy again.
Have a physical activity once a day
Learn French, music, anything. Set some goals. In 1 month you will have to know the basics in Spanish, in French, marketing, IT, new software, whatever you want, whatever is your challenge.
In France, they say "le travail, c'est la sante". It means "work, it's health". Something said, of course, when going to work is a pain in the neck, but work does help you not to let your mind wander around. Physical activity, or just suppressing idleness are a fantastic help for self-esteem, balance and harmony. -
Clean your body
Eat healthy, reduce fat food, increase fruits and vitamins. If you smoke, reduce your cigarette consumption. You need oxygen to swim back to the surface in this swamp. We know it's not easy. You went down, now you have to go up.
Hot showers, baths, and swimming-pool. Water massages.
Stop thinking
Your brain is weak and needs oxygen. Give it a month vacation.
As soon as you start thinking about it, drop the idea. Stop your mind from wandering.
It's like quitting drugs. In one way, it makes you happy to think about it, but it keeps being very destructive.
Don't moan
The more you speak about your ex, the good time you had, the more you bring back negative energy. You're just trying to talk about it, because it pleases you, but in a negative way to get rid of your reproach. Get rid of them with your closest friends if you feel like it. But don't bring that forever.
Every time you speak about it, you reprint images in your brain. These images make you suffer. So, it's no good for you.
You will be more rewarded by putting off the flames of desire burning in your heart. -
Get a book
This is a great Tip! Find a nice story which suits you, and carry your book everywhere like a sportsman carry his vitamins. Every time, you're on your own. Before going to class, going to work, or going to bed, read the book. Get some book that you can read on the way to anywhere, and that you can finish even before you arrived. Fun 'N Easy to read, know what I mean?
I suggest 200 pages. Why not a biography? You will see what people have endured, great things they have achieved. And when looking at the book, tell yourself one thing: when you will reach the last chapter, you will feel much, MUCH better.
Believe me, it's true.
Sleep Well
It is most important to recharge your batteries. You are like a cellular phone after 1 week in the jungle. You will not get better with a quick charge.
First of all, I'm not in favor of sleeping pills unless it's extremely recommended by your usual doctor. You are addicted to love already. You need to clean your body, not to get addicted to another product. -
How can I get a good night sleep?
8 secrets for success in Good Sleep
1. Eat light
2. Physical activity
3. Reduce light 2 hours before sleep, and when the first sleep-wave comes, your eyes drop or you yawn, switch off the light.
4. Avoid sound, beats or dynamic people.
5. Hot shower or bath. The bath is good because you are surrounded by water. And you can get alone for a while. It's best to relax.
6. Hot drink herbal tea, or warm milk. It will put you to sleep in no time.
7. Good book
Go to bed early. If you don't go to bed early, it's catch 22. The alarm-clock will always wake you up. So you're more tired, more stressed, more depressed, anxious and you go to bed later and later. So, you're more tired... etc...
To be happy, you need to be balanced.
Get rid of the tension.
Soft music, but not melancholy. Avoid love songs. That would be like shooting yourself in the leg. Enjoy ballads. Sheep-sheep-help me sleep. You will sleep like a baby. -
Here is what you can think when in doubt:
It was not good for me. I could go back. But I am too strong. I won't do it. I am too smart. I decided and I DECIDE not to do it. It's a go- nowhere relationship and it will bring me more sadness and hard moments.
Staying longer would be a disaster. I think not only for me but for my children and my future children. I have lost enough time.
I am strong enough. Now, I walk in the RIGHT direction. My only aim is TO BE HAPPY. -
haiz....
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thanks BBL for sharing~
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Good advice
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ah dun mention it, juz got it frm my email.. tink its pretty gd...Originally posted by browniebaobao:thanks BBL for sharing~
hope it helps all d broken hearted pple here... -
Originally posted by BabyLover:ah dun mention it, juz got it frm my email.. tink its pretty gd...
hope it helps all d broken hearted pple here...
I think we all know what to do, only whether we want to do it. -
Heartbreaks will only last as long as we allow them to.Originally posted by browniebaobao:
I think we all know what to do, only whether we want to do it.
Ultimately,its down to you yourself. -
u also know how to say this ar?Originally posted by Patrik:Heartbreaks will only last as long as we allow them to.
Ultimately,its down to you yourself. -
Originally posted by browniebaobao:u also know how to say this ar?
Yeah,i only know how to say but i dunno how to do. -
hi babylover, i couldn't agree with you more on this. i truely believe to get out of a failed relationship fast, one has to avoid loneliness.
however most people failed in doing so because if they held on, there could be hope. i was once like that. holding on to something that was long gone and forgo the chance of giving my heart another chance to learn to love and be loved.
no doubt one should never give up hope in life, but when it gets to a point when you have to decide to continue with the present state one dewells in or to lift himself/herself out of it, he/she have to do so.
pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.Originally posted by BabyLover:
[b][color=darkred]Avoid loneliness [/color]
Every time you're on your own, you start thinking and wrecking your mind. Wash your brain. Think about Hawaii, planets, or whatever you like.
Get a visual trainer, and solid visual support, with a strong image. It could be the picture of a climber, a sportsman or famous person, somebody who faced difficulty and triumphed. You can get a poster, put it in your room, so that it kicks your blues in the morning or when you get back home. Or a small picture and you use it as a bookmark.
Avoid triggers
Stay away from romantic movies. Consider, it's like cheese when you're on a diet. Avoid anything which is not action or which leave your mind wander away.
Avoid places which bring back memories. Restaurants, streets, bars, districts. Avoid your common territory for a while. I remember a time when I was going to a park, and just getting to that park could make my stomach like a brick. Once there, I was wondering between 2 destinations. And I was undecided for 5, 10 minutes till the next cab. You tend to have special memories, you build up your own space, your own territory where you feel comfortable and good no matter what.
Avoid these moments, and all these factors which trigger your broken heart like an arrow in a bleeding wound. Avoid triggers like the plague.
Out of sight, out of mind.
[/b] -
Suffering is optional?
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hmmm.... put it this way...
if u got stabbed by a knife, pain is inevitable..
if u see a doctor, u won't have to suffer longer.
relationship wise, i believe once the hurt is done, there's no other better way than to start healing the wound and wat better way to do just that is to opt out of suffering.
open up, meet more people and give others, as well as yourself, another chance. never hold on to the "what ifs" or be afraid of failures, cause there might never be a tomorrow...
god bless...Originally posted by browniebaobao:Suffering is optional? -
nvm if there's no tmr. lol.Originally posted by foga:hmmm.... put it this way...
if u got stabbed by a knife, pain is inevitable..
if u see a doctor, u won't have to suffer longer.
relationship wise, i believe once the hurt is done, there's no other better way than to start healing the wound and wat better way to do just that is to opt out of suffering.
open up, meet more people and give others, as well as yourself, another chance. never hold on to the "what ifs" or be afraid of failures, cause there might never be a tomorrow...
god bless...
Chang tong bu ru duan tong. -
ya... if u prefer duan tong den you should get out of the emotional mess faster... meet king-sao for tea or dao-huay den come back claimed from ~HH~..
Originally posted by browniebaobao:nvm if there's no tmr. lol.
Chang tong bu ru duan tong. -
more ways
1. Throw a small party. The fun of letting loose and being surrounded with your close friends can make anyone feel better.
2. Gather everything that reminds you of your past love and put it in a box specifically for this. Then give it to a friend or store it somewhere where you won't see or think about it. When you're ready you can either throw away the box or keep it for memory's sake.
3. Start a new exercise or well-being plan. It never hurts to take time to look good!
4. Start a daily journal, even if it's on your computer. Somewhere everyday take the time to jot down whatever comes to mind. The idea in starting a journal is not to write cleverly or even about anything important. Just write (or type) whatever comes to mind even if your journal starts to look like this: "Went shopping yesterday for a new book oh yea need to e-mail Susan, the flowers on that window sill need watering." The point of your journal is to clear your thoughts. In a few weeks you will be able to read your entries to discover new things and trends about yourself.
5. Join a new interest group. It's never to early too meet new friends and, at least this way, you'll already have one thing in common.
6. Learn something new. Take a foreign language or art course, or buy a how-to computer program.
7. Pick out an inspirational book or movie to read or watch whenever you start feeling down or depressed.
8. Take yourself out on a date, even if it's a night alone watching your favorite programs and eating your favorite foods.
9. Do the things you said you always wanted to do when you were with your partner but somehow never did.
10. Get a new look.
11. Pick up a calendar and fill out the next 3 months with social events you'd like to attend or things you'd like to do. Browse your city's web site or the entertainment section of your local newspaper to find out ideas, dates and times.
12. Spend a "comfy" day. Get out your favorite comfy clothes, pillow, blanket, etc. and just spend the day relaxing doing whatever you want!
13. Get a pet or plant to take care of.
14. Rent a few romantic movies or read a few romance novels to remind yourself that love does still have happy endings.
15. Write a goodbye poem or letter. Then stick it in a bottle and throw it out in the sea or attach it to a helium balloon to be carried away.
16. Do something you wouldn't normally do to celebrate your "singleness."
17. Redecorate your space. Start off by cleaning out everything and throwing away anything you don't use or need anymore. Make a few self-indulgent decorating additions like a few candles, a favorite painting or fresh flowers!
18. Visit a new city. Pick some place you've always wanted to go or some place closer to home to save money.
19. Spend time with your friends. -
Only 2 remedies..One ie either time and the other is wait for another to heal it..
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king-sao?Originally posted by foga:ya... if u prefer duan tong den you should get out of the emotional mess faster... meet king-sao for tea or dao-huay den come back claimed from ~HH~..
my dear say my dear la... wat king sao?
haha..
can claim har? then i dun ke qi liao.. bring dear to cafe cartel and have a gd meal then come back HH claim for u boss.
Thank u very much boss!!! -
Originally posted by BabyLover:more ways
1. Throw a small party. The fun of letting loose and being surrounded with your close friends can make anyone feel better.
not a party animal.
2. Gather everything that reminds you of your past love and put it in a box specifically for this. Then give it to a friend or store it somewhere where you won't see or think about it. When you're ready you can either throw away the box or keep it for memory's sake.
Done. No problem with doing that.
3. Start a new exercise or well-being plan. It never hurts to take time to look good!
Did but always ban tu er fei.
4. Start a daily journal, even if it's on your computer. Somewhere everyday take the time to jot down whatever comes to mind. The idea in starting a journal is not to write cleverly or even about anything important. Just write (or type) whatever comes to mind even if your journal starts to look like this: "Went shopping yesterday for a new book oh yea need to e-mail Susan, the flowers on that window sill need watering." The point of your journal is to clear your thoughts. In a few weeks you will be able to read your entries to discover new things and trends about yourself.
I have a blog. I always tot that it's a way to let out all my emotions, but I'm wrong. Coz my frens are reading.. There are still some dark secrets that I can't put on blog.. so I still have to live with them. Sobz.
5. Join a new interest group. It's never to early too meet new friends and, at least this way, you'll already have one thing in common.
I know and I'm widening my circle of frens.
6. Learn something new. Take a foreign language or art course, or buy a how-to computer program.
Always wanted to do this but cannot afford the time. Next sem, probably will choose a language module.
7. Pick out an inspirational book or movie to read or watch whenever you start feeling down or depressed.
I always do this.
8. Take yourself out on a date, even if it's a night alone watching your favorite programs and eating your favorite foods.
Always pamper myself like this too.
9. Do the things you said you always wanted to do when you were with your partner but somehow never did.
I think I will feel sadder if I were to do it alone.. lol.
10. Get a new look.
Money is an issue here. :
11. Pick up a calendar and fill out the next 3 months with social events you'd like to attend or things you'd like to do. Browse your city's web site or the entertainment section of your local newspaper to find out ideas, dates and times.
If only I have the time.
12. Spend a "comfy" day. Get out your favorite comfy clothes, pillow, blanket, etc. and just spend the day relaxing doing whatever you want!
Nua my time away ar.. but what If I only have one day free? Waste my time like that meh?
13. Get a pet or plant to take care of.
I got my pang pang, ben ben and other 5 hamsters.
14. Rent a few romantic movies or read a few romance novels to remind yourself that love does still have happy endings.
I never believe in happy endings.
15. Write a goodbye poem or letter. Then stick it in a bottle and throw it out in the sea or attach it to a helium balloon to be carried away.
Always tot of doing that but scared I will be caught of polluting the sea.
16. Do something you wouldn't normally do to celebrate your "singleness."
Like?
17. Redecorate your space. Start off by cleaning out everything and throwing away anything you don't use or need anymore. Make a few self-indulgent decorating additions like a few candles, a favorite painting or fresh flowers!
But one or two weeks later will be in a mess again
18. Visit a new city. Pick some place you've always wanted to go or some place closer to home to save money.
Who's going with me? I have no sense of direction wan, might get lost nia.
19. Spend time with your friends.
I always do.
Thanks BBL for sharing..
Thanks everybody for ya concern.. I'm fine liao. I wun cry for someone after I found out what a jerk he is.