Jokes
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1. A little boy was so jealous of his new born brother that he put poison on the nipple of his mom while she was asleep.
Now comes the saddest part - the next day their driver died.
2. Farmer ordered a Milking Machine. Tried it on on his penis & had a wonderful orgasm, but could not remove it.
So he read the manual & faints.
It said, " AUTO RELEASE AFTER 2 GALLONS".
3. A recent survey asked 100 Sexually active men what they most enjoyed about a blow job. 99.9% said "The 10 minutes silence."
4. What is a kiss? Kiss is an enquiry in the first floor, about vacancy in the Ground Floor.
5. Why do women love gold more than man?
Because Gold has 24 Carrots while man has only one Carrot.
6. Prostitute to man: "Hi, man, want to have sex?
Man to prostitute "Ok.Only if you do it like my wife does."
Prostitute: "I can do it in any way.
So how does she do it? Man: "She does it for free."
7. A 20 year old boy gets married to a 65 year old lady.
The next day after marriage, the boy dies.
Reason: He drank expired milk.
8. What's common to a Man on Tight rope at 500 mtr height & man getting a blow job from a 85 year old lady? Poor fellas both must not look down!!!!!!
9. Sexual Thoughts for Today: its not the length, its not the size, its how many times you can make it rise! its not how well it fits but how often you can make it spit!!!!
10. A Sardar gives 36 roses to his girlfriend, who thrilled, undresses, lies down, spreads her legs & says: "This is for the roses"
Sardar: "Why, Can't you find a vase?"
11. What do Bungee Jumping & Prostitutes have in common?
With both pleasure lasts for 35 seconds and if the rubber breaks, you are fucked.
12. Wife to Doc: An ant entered my vagina.
Please help and take it out.
Doctor removes her panty and starts making love to her.
Wife (angrily): What are you doing?
Doc: This is the only way. I will drown the bastard. -
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hahaha...more more~ -
Condom says to Kotex, " When you work, I lose 7 days of business."
Kotex replies," When you fail to work once, my business stops for 9 months!"
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Hahaha......Originally posted by e|mo:Condom says to Kotex, " When you work, I lose 7 days of business."
Kotex replies," When you fail to work once, my business stops for 9 months!" -
Bet Your Age
A woman was in a gambling casino for the first time.
At the roulette she says, "I have no idea what number to play."
A young, good-looking man nearby suggests she play her age.
Smiling at the man, she puts her money on number 32.
The wheel is spun, and 41 comes up.
The smile drifted from the woman's face and she fainted. -
The Dinner Guest
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn't go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"
"I know all that."
"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married." -
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osama out of date liao.. -
Arab Interview at US Immigration:
Q: Your name please?
A: Abdul Aziz
Q: Sex?
A: Twice a week
Q: I mean, Male or Female?
A: Doesn't matter. Sometimes even camel. -
Originally posted by ForumGOD:phone rings n maid pick up the phone while her master is bathing....
caller: is your master in?
maid: yes sir...
caller: wat is he doing?
maid: masturbating....