Why Stressed Men WonÂ’t Talk
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Why Stressed Men WonÂ’t Talk
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A woman talks outside her head, that is, You can hear her, whereas a man talks inside his head. He doesnÂ’t have a specific brain area for speech so this suits his mindset. When he has a problem he talks to himself while she talks to other people....
This is why, what under the pressure of problems or stress; man will clam up and stop talking. He uses his right brain to try to solve his problems or find solutions and he stops using his left brain to listen or speak. His brain can only ‘do one thing at a time’.
He canÂ’t solve problems and listen or talk simultaneously.
This silence is often distressing and frightening for a woman. Women say to their husbands, sons and brothers. “Come on, you’ve got to talk about it! You’ll feel better!” She says this because this is what works for her. But he just wants to be left alone to firegazer until he comes up with some solutions and answers.
He doesnÂ’t want to talk to anyone about it, especially a therapist, because he sees that as a major sign of weakness.
The famous Rodin Sculpture ‘The Thinker’ symbolizes a man thinking about his own problems. He wants to sit in his rock and think about solutions and needs to be alone to do it.
The key word here is [color=brown]ALONE – no one is ever allowed to go up on the rock with him. not even his best friends. In fact, his male friends would not even contemplate going up there. A woman feels the urge to climb up there with him to give comfort and she gets a rude shock when he pushes her off!
If Rodin created a sculpture to a woman. it would probably be called ‘The Talker’. Women need to understand that when a man is on his rock they need to leave him there and let him think.
Many Women feel that his silence means he doesnÂ’t love her or that heÂ’s angry with her. This is because if a woman wasnÂ’t talking, sheÂ’d be angry or upset. But if she leaves him on his rock with a cup of tea and a biscuit and doesnÂ’t press him to talk, heÂ’ll be fine.
When he finally solves his problem. heÂ’ll come down off his rock and feel happy and begin to talk again. [/color]
Extracted from Why Men Don't Listen & Women Can't Read Maps by Allan & Barbara Pease
pg.161 - 163 -
ge ge... tis is chim leh
shortcut lah...
man can only do 1 thing at a time.. woman can multi-task
so when guys are stressed... don't force them to talk abt it
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you may also wish to refer to my replies in *nothing* topic
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Hee....where ar?Originally posted by Peppermint:you may also wish to refer to my replies in *nothing* topic
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Orh....but some people prefer to read the Whys mah...Originally posted by e|mo:ge ge... tis is chim leh
shortcut lah...
man can only do 1 thing at a time.. woman can multi-task
so when guys are stressed... don't force them to talk abt it
Some people eg. You like to be straight-forward mah.
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Originally posted by M©+square:
true about both man and woman... my hubby is the example
Why Stressed Men WonÂ’t Talk
___________________________________
A woman talks outside her head, that is, You can hear her, whereas a man talks inside his head. He doesnÂ’t have a specific brain area for speech so this suits his mindset. When he has a problem he talks to himself while she talks to other people....
This is why, what under the pressure of problems or stress; man will clam up and stop talking. He uses his right brain to try to solve his problems or find solutions and he stops using his left brain to listen or speak. His brain can only ‘do one thing at a time’.
He canÂ’t solve problems and listen or talk simultaneously.
This silence is often distressing and frightening for a woman. Women say to their husbands, sons and brothers. “Come on, you’ve got to talk about it! You’ll feel better!” She says this because this is what works for her. But he just wants to be left alone to firegazer until he comes up with some solutions and answers.
He doesnÂ’t want to talk to anyone about it, especially a therapist, because he sees that as a major sign of weakness.
The famous Rodin Sculpture ‘The Thinker’ symbolizes a man thinking about his own problems. He wants to sit in his rock and think about solutions and needs to be alone to do it.
The key word here is [color=brown][b]ALONE – no one is ever allowed to go up on the rock with him. not even his best friends. In fact, his male friends would not even contemplate going up there. A woman feels the urge to climb up there with him to give comfort and she gets a rude shock when he pushes her off!
If Rodin created a sculpture to a woman. it would probably be called ‘The Talker’. Women need to understand that when a man is on his rock they need to leave him there and let him think.
Many Women feel that his silence means he doesnÂ’t love her or that heÂ’s angry with her. This is because if a woman wasnÂ’t talking, sheÂ’d be angry or upset. But if she leaves him on his rock with a cup of tea and a biscuit and doesnÂ’t press him to talk, heÂ’ll be fine.
When he finally solves his problem. heÂ’ll come down off his rock and feel happy and begin to talk again. [/color]
Extracted from Why Men Don't Listen & Women Can't Read Maps by Allan & Barbara Pease
pg.161 - 163[/b] -
like mi loh....
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[quote]Originally posted by M©+square:
[b]Why Stressed Men WonÂ’t Talk
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Agreed!!
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Tell liao got use meh? The most the other party can say is "don't be sad", cheer up" etc etc. Listen liao still got to go back to face the stress.
Plus will make the other person feel sad for me only. -
Someone should really go read the book "Why Men don't listen and Women can't read maps"
That will give you an idea on how the opposite sex thinks and works.
It will definitely give you an edge. -
I'm feeling stress right now as i can't read the white colour words and have to highlight the whole paragraph with my mouse..
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Why not you go to your rock and stay there till when u are ready to read it?Originally posted by kohanson:I'm feeling stress right now as i can't read the white colour words and have to highlight the whole paragraph with my mouse..
Cheers.
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yah, i think that's what men will think. And it seemed like it's a crime for us to keep something within ourselves, just because we want to solve it on our own.Originally posted by millennium:Tell liao got use meh? The most the other party can say is "don't be sad", cheer up" etc etc. Listen liao still got to go back to face the stress.
Plus will make the other person feel sad for me only. -
Should say there are people around us who are concern.Originally posted by M©+square:yah, i think that's what men will think. And it seemed like it's a crime for us to keep something within ourselves, just because we want to solve it on our own. -
Yup i agree that in life there's sure to be some people who truly cares. But life's like tis, We are not alone, yet we are on our own.Originally posted by millennium:Should say there are people around us who are concern.
There are some things whihc we can only solve it ourselves.
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To tell people our problem or not normally depend on the relationship with the other person.Originally posted by M©+square:Yup i agree that in life there's sure to be some people who truly cares. But life's like tis, We are not alone, yet we are on our own.
There are some things whihc we can only solve it ourselves. -
I tell different friends diff problems of mine. Yes the bond in relationship makes lots of difference.Originally posted by millennium:To tell people our problem or not normally depend on the relationship with the other person. -
But you can get betrayed a lot more easier this way too..Originally posted by M©+square:I tell different friends diff problems of mine. Yes the bond in relationship makes lots of difference. -
I don't like to tell people my problem. Unless real close friend.Originally posted by M©+square:I tell different friends diff problems of mine. Yes the bond in relationship makes lots of difference. -
You are right, by letting people know too much is very dangerous.Originally posted by Spear:But you can get betrayed a lot more easier this way too.. -
As dangerous as letting others know too much about yourself in the forum as well?Originally posted by millennium:You are right, by letting people know too much is very dangerous. -
Forum is much more dangerous than outside world.Originally posted by Spear:As dangerous as letting others know too much about yourself in the forum as well? -
Agree wholeheartedly..Originally posted by millennium:Forum is much more dangerous than outside world.
So I guess its time for me to quit liao. Bye guys... been nice knowing you all.
/ wave hand.. -
I have a standard way of replying those people who post in forum say want to quit. But since I know you, think wouldn't use those words on you.Originally posted by Spear:Agree wholeheartedly..
So I guess its time for me to quit liao. Bye guys... been nice knowing you all.
/ wave hand..
For you will be:
Go lah, no one stopping you. -
Special concession for kid like me..Originally posted by millennium:I have a standard way of replying those people who post in forum say want to quit. But since I know you, think wouldn't use those words on you.
For you will be:
Go lah, no one stopping you.