Jokes
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Two Nuns
There were two nuns...
One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),
and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for
the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes
at the most? What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.
SM: It's not working.
SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical
thing. He started to walk faster, too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in
one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go
that way and I'll go this way.
He cannot follow us both.
So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried
about what has happened to Sister Logical.
Then Sister Logical arrives.
SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!
SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't
follow us both,so he followed me.
SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?
SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast
as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.
SM: And?
SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.
SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.
SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.
SM: Oh, no! What happened then?
SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?
A nun with her dress up can run faster than man with his pants down.
And for those of you who thought it would be dirty, say two Hail Marys! -
hahhaahahhaa......gd man
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Red Ears
A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor
asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered,
"I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of
picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But, what
happened to your other ear?"
"The jerk called back!" -
Vacuum Cleaner Salesman
A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day,
only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
"Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a
couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate
the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."
"Go away!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money"
and she proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open.
"Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least
seen my demonstration."
And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto
her hallway carpet.
"If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this
horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally
eat the remainder."
"Well," she said, "I hope you have a damned good appetite,
because the electricity was cut off this morning." -
The Race
There was a competition to cross the English channel doing only the breaststroke, and the three women who entered the race were a brunette, a redhead and a blonde.
After approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest. About 40 minutes later, the redhead crawled up on the shore and was declared the second place finisher.
Nearly 4 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers.
When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, she replied, "I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms..." -
This is what happens if your hokkien is not good enough.
This person went to a coffee shop with his friends for a drink.
One peculiar habit of this friend is that he doesn't drink any
beverage with Milk.
He approached the counter and the uncle there asked him in hokkien, 'lee ai lim, see mee?' (What do you want to drink?)
Not knowing that " teh-o " (means tea without milk), my
friend said rather slowly, "TEH...MAI...LOK...GU...NI " (tea , don't put milk).
And......guess what he got?? He got all the 3 types of drink!
"teh","milo " and "milk".
And the worst thing was all these 3 types of beverages contain MILK! -
Holland Rd
A man new in Singapore boards a bus. He asks the bus driver
to inform him when the bus has reached Holland Road. After a while, the passenger heard the driver yelled out, "Hollan Lok! Hollan Lok!".
So, thinking the bus has reached his destination point, he got down the bus. However, to his surprise he saw a road sign stating the name of another road.
Why??????????????
Because the bus driver said in Hokkien to the passengers in the crowded bus :
"Let people go down, let people go down!!!!" (Hor lang loh! Hor lang loh!) -
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nothing to say but to laugh ....
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hahha hahhahahahha
