Two cows
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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company,
using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the
bank,
then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer
so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five
cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an
intermediary
to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority
shareholder
who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed
company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an
option
on one more.
Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving
you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public buys your bull.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four
cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary
cow
and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called 'Cowkimon' and
market them World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month,
and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment and high bovine productivity.
You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A MALAYSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You signed a 40-years contract to supply milk at 0.06 per lit.
Then midway you raised the price to 0.60 or you cut supply.
When the buyer agrees to the new price, you change your mind again
and
now wants 1.20.
The buyer decided you can keep the milk and they go look for milk
that
comes from recycled cows.
Your two cows retire together with the PM.
A SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
One cow-beh and one cow-bu. -
Moderator, why open a new thread on this??
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Wait.... let me think of a good reason then I tell youOriginally posted by Shadow_R:Moderator, why open a new thread on this??